Be aware of your surroundings, visitors to this fun city that means all 5 billion of you annually according to yearly statistics. Crime in NYC hotels has gone up 20% in the past three years, compounded by the city’s contracting of a majority of major chain hotels to shelter thousands of homeless people and the hiring of lax private security firms.

And to go along with the overpopulation of humans in the 5 boroughs, the rat population has grown by 10%.

Bronx

 

In Highbridge at Billy’s Bar across the street from Yankee Stadium and hours after a medal awarding ceremony honoring heroic firefighters, a huge brawl between fellow firefighters ignited by a racial slur spilled onto the streets. As cops tried to break up the melee, a fireman punched a cop and another one got in his car and attempted to run down someone.

After this melee went down in front of incredulous witnesses who wondered aloud why no one was being arrested and why some of the drunk brawling firemen were allowed to drive away in their cars, the engine company that initiated the riot went to Claremont where their rival station was located and proceeded to continue the brawl there and wound up getting their asses kicked. No one was arrested there either since the cops didn’t pursue them, even though they may have been DUI and cops weren’t deployed despite knowing about the brawl and a cop getting assaulted.

Also in Highbridge, at the a 13-year-old girl was shot in the leg from an errant bullet protecting her nephew in a playground when a man shot at another man recently paroled from prison.

Again in Highbridge, three men standing on a corner were shot at in a drive-by around one in the morning.

In Mott Haven, a 73-year-old man was stabbed to death in his apartment after he won 10 grand on a lottery ticket.

In Allerton, a 10-year-old girl was mugged of her cellphone as she was calling her mother by a man who followed to her home then ripped the phone from her hand and smacked her in the face and shoved her down to the ground, kicked her in the face and broke her glasses.

In Belmont, a man sporadically shot into a courtyard in the middle of a memorial and killed a man and wounded a woman.

Also in Belmont, a man set his girlfriend and himself on fire in her apartment in a murder-suicide after she broke up with him.

Again in Belmont, a fire in an apartment building killed a man and injured two others was a result of arson.

In Fordham Manor, a poor 72-year-old collecting cans to survive living in this unaffordable fucking city was attacked by a man who knocked her down and tried to rape her.

Also in Fordham Manor, a man yanked a woman’s cellphone out of her hand and tried to steal her wallet on the D train then fled when the train arrived at the Fordham Road Station.

In West Farms, a fight among gangs of people in front of an apartment building escalated into a shootout, killing a 17-year-old girl who got shot in the back in the crossfire.

In Soundview, at the Bronx River Houses, a woman killed her baby son by slamming him against the wall in a drug stupor and didn’t call an ambulance because she didn’t want to get locked up. The woman previously had 3 other kids taken away from her from child services.

In Gun Hill Houses, a gang chased a 14-year-old boy to the Bronx River Parkeway and stabbed him multiple times in the chest when they caught him.

In Fordham Heights, 18 men were arrested for running a drug operation and selling fentanyl laced heroin referencing the outstanding T.V. show Breaking Bad. One brand was even named after Walter White’s demonic alter ego Heisenberg.

In Claremont, a 14-year-old boy slashed a 16-year-old boy in the shoulder when he exited a middle school.

In Van Nest, a man was shot at in his car by an acquaintance of the man he was arguing with then crashed into several vehicles trying to drive away from the crime scene and died.

In Highbridge, a man was found dead in his apartment from being stabbed three times.

In Eastchester, four teenagers tried to board a bus for free and ganged up on and assaulted the driver who tried to get rid of them.

In Throggs Neck at the Throggs Neck Houses, a NYCHA employee punched another employee during an argument.

In Morris Park, two dog handlers lost control of the pitbulls they were walking that wound up biting four girls and a woman.

In Mott Haven, a mosque was shot at with a bb gun.

Brooklyn

In Bushwick, a man who got kicked out of a trendy hip night spot went into a tantrum cursing out and slinging racial slurs at a bouncer and the man filming him and then tried to call the cops to arrest the bouncer during his tirade and even tried to instigate a physical fight with him. The man works for a real estate agency called MySpace NYC that deals with slumlords, baits and switches on customers and rents apartments at exorbitant rates

This vile, racist, hipster invader bag of dicks and shit could only get away with this because he is, as well as his company, an agent and tool of forced gentrification, swallowing neighborhoods and displacing working poor and middle class citizen. Or to put it more aptly by a commentor on Reddit: “Back in the day this p.o.s. would have been picking up his teeth from the floor or in a coma in some hospital!!! Where the fuck did bushwick go!!! ”

Also in Bushwick at the Mrytle Ave./Broadway Station, two men catatonic from smoking K-2 were found glazed-eyed and lying prone. One on the tracks with his legs draping on and under the third rail and nearly trying to squeeze through a crevice on the tracks overlooking the street below and another on the platform.

Again in Bushwick, a man was shot in the chest on a street corner then died.

And again in Bushwick, a man died from overdosing on K-2.

And again in Bushwick, a man was shot to death on a street corner shortly after midnight.

In Coney Island, four separate fights on the beach that spread into a rumble on the landmark boardwalk leads to one teenager getting stabbed in the back and chest and another man slashed in the face.

In Flatlands, a professional cab driver committed suicide by hanging himself in his home resulting from being unable to earn a living, save money and afford to live in his overpriced grossly marketed borough from the over-saturation of and the city’s continuing indifference to regulate app-based car services. This is the sixth cab driver to kill himself since the public suicide of Doug Schifter in front the entrance of City Hall.

In Borough Park, a drunk ass private garbage truck driver plowed into 8 parked cars and a tree at 5:20 a.m then tried to leave the scene of his destruction and battled with and tried to flee from the cops as they tried to detain him. He is now free on bail.

In Gowanus, a hipster doofus chef of some reknown butchered by breaking the branches off and then deliberately poisoned a tree that he felt was blocking his solar panels from the sun.

In Bed-Stuy, a restaurant got plowed by a car that jumped the curb and crashed into it, injuring 2 patrons. The driver left the vehicle behind and walked away.

Also in Bed-Stuy, an inebriated man drove his car into a parking lot and crashed into two parked vehicles, injuring four people and smashed another car when he tried to get away by plowing through a fence.

Again in Bed-Stuy, two men mugged another man for his cellphone.

In Canarsie, a man carrying 2 canisters of gasoline attempted to burn down a three-story house he used to live in at 2 a.m.

Also in Canarsie, a mother was killed and her son got injured when a car veered off the road from a three car crash in an intersection nearby.

Again in Canarsie, an off-duty cop punched his girlfriend in the face while she was boarding a cab.

In Gowanus, a man riding his bike on the sidewalk sneaked up behind a woman to grab her ass and sped off.

In Brownsville, a drug den raided by the NYPD was found to be possessing guns and a massive stash of baggies of K2 labeled with cartoon characters, which included the brand Scooby Snax that was discovered to be behind the overdoses of over 80 people that were hospitalized a few weeks ago.

Also in Brownsville, two men impersonating police officers grabbed a 58-year-old man in front of his house then threw him into a van and zip-tied him. The perps were confronted by a man and a teenage boy who let them inside the house thinking they were cops, and then hit the clubbed the man on the head and proceeded to burglarize the place, robbing $7,000, sneakers and cellphones

Again in Brownsville, an off-duty cop got arrested for strangling his girlfriend.

And again in Brownsville, a man got shot in the back and leg while he was entering his apartment building.

In Crown Heights at the Utica Ave. Station, a man hitting on a woman got into a fight with her boyfriend and bit his lip off during the brawl and ran away.

In Prospect Park at the station of the same name, a man who was yelling homophobic slurs and threats punched a train conductor in the head as the Q train was leaving the station.

In East New York at the Gateway Plaza, a man punched a woman in the face then back up into her with his car in the parking lot after a date at Red Lobster.

In Prospect Heights, a man attempted to steal a stroller with a 2-year-old boy from his parents. This is the 5th child kidnapping attempt in broad daylight by various skels in a month in Brooklyn.

In Bay Ridge, a grinning creep sidled into the front door of an apartment building then stole various tools from the basement.

In Greenpoint, an off-duty cop assaulted a man and was found in possession of a unlicensed gun.

In Boerum Hill at the Atlantic Avenue/Barclays Center Station, a 6-year-old girl fell on the tracks after her arm got caught in a train door that closed on her and dragged her on the platform.

In Flatbush, a mother and her son were killed in a fire in their apartment that spread when the son was trying to move a portable air conditioner that malfunctioned and went ablaze but the fire it left behind already spread out.

Also in Flatbush, a man was shot to death and another man was slashed during an argument in someone’s apartment.

Again in Flatbush, a woman was found dead from an apparent suicide in her apartment with a plastic bag affixed to her head and her hands cuffed.

In Midwood, a man committed suicide in his apartment by slashing his throat.

In Mill Basin, a man died after being rescued drowning by in the water by a dock.

In DUMB(o), a dead man was found hanging on the 10th floor of a commercial building.

In Vinegar Hill at Commodore Barry Park, a dead man’s body was found in the playground

In Boerum Hill, a gym teacher strangled two students during a play fight that went wrong.

In Dyker Heights, two cars crashed into each other at an intersection, causing one to jump the curb and crash into a store.

In Sunset Park, a 73-year-old man had his chain broken when a skel tried to snatch it from his neck.

In Williamsburg, a gunfight on a street corner between three men lead to one dying from a gunshot wound in the head, and two others wounded from shots in the back and guts.

Also in Williamsburg, a man sneaked up behind a man walking and talking on his phone and beat him up, knocked him down and stole his cellphone and ran to the subway.

Again in Williamsburg, an off-duty cop pulled a knife on another man after they both had an argument on the BQE.

And again in Williamsburg, a man held up a smoothie shop and robbed it of $300 with a pipe that the workers thought was a gun.

And again in Williamsburg, a man held up a bank with a note and the teller obliged him with cash.

And again in Williamsburg, a man who wears his vile ideological beliefs on his face with tattoos drove into a food delivery guy on his electronic motorized bicycle (a motorcycle).

In Fort Greene, a man fighting with his wife during a domestic dispute threw a bottle at her but missed and hit his 4-year-old son in the head.

In Gravesend, a man robbed another man of his cellphone and cash after he dined and hung out with him in a restaurant.

Also in Gravesend, a man grabbed a commuter’s junk on the D train.

In Dyker Heights, a man broke into a unlocked van and stole $400

In Kensington at the Ditmars Ave. Station, a man pummeled a 69-year-old man in the face on the F train and threw him off when it arrived at the station.

Also in Kensington, a man stalked then assaulted an 81-year-old man as he entered his apartment building.

In Bensonhurst, an off duty EMT worker threatened to stab another EMT worker with a spoon if he took up space in his bed. (S&M spooning?)

And somewhere in Brooklyn on some subway train, two women got into an argument over a seat. As a woman went ballistic on another woman, accusing her of stealing it from her daughter, then started cursing her out as she told her kid to push her off and then proceeded to shove her herself and then spat on her. With a closer look, it looks like the alleged victim tried to squeeze herself into the seat cramming the two little girls to the side, which probably would have set any mother off.

Queens

In Jamaica, a man got shot in a nite club and then tried to drive himself to the nearest hospital but wound up crashing his car and died.

In Sunnyside, a man was found dead in a hotel room with his throat slashed.

In Cambria Heights, a man was shot 3 times at point blank range and killed as he sat in his van.

In Queens Village, a man was jumped by two men as he exited his car and got shot in the face.

Also in Queens Village, an off-duty cop pulled a gun on his girlfriend and threatened to kill her.

In Jamaica Estates, a man who runs a HVAC business poured liquid mercury into air conditioners of a home to poison people who complained about his lousy service.

In Flushing, an abandoned house went on fire leading to injuries of two men squatting inside and 10 firefighters trying to put it out. It was set by man associated with the MS-13 gang.

Also in Flushing, two men invaded a room being rented by a man from Chicago and held him up at knifepoint and robbed $30,000 from him after they forced him to strip.

Again in Flushing, a man got caught by the cops and arrested when he poorly stashed a gun under a car’s wheel.

And again in Flushing, three men ditched a nite club without paying their $120 bill and mercilessly beat up an employee who tried to stop them by kicking and punching him.

And again in Flushing, a 14-year-old boy was sucker punched in the face by a man as he was walking up the stairs exiting the Main St. Station.

In Long Island City, a man rooming with two other men was caught robbing the apartment and then slashed them with a knife when they tried to hold him down for the cops to show up.

In Ozone Park, two men followed then stabbed another man multiple times on the street following an argument between them.

Also in Ozone Park on the A train stopping at the 104th St. Station, a man wanted for jerking off on the train in front of two other women while obscuring his lascivious deed with a backpack was caught yanking his crank in front of 19 year-old woman.

In Corona, three men held up a man at gunpoint in his car and robbed his backpack containing a payroll of $80,000. The trio is also wanted in two similar robberies in Harlem and Flushing.

Also in Corona, a woman’s poodle was murdered by a neighbor’s two pit bulls.

Again in Corona, a man flipped out in a grocery store when he threw a suitcase at a clerk when his debit card was declined when he tried to buy a beverage.

And again in Corona, as well as North Corona, Jackson Heights and Elmhurst, a man has broken into and burglarized 13 homes making off with $100,000 in cash and merchandise.

In Jackson Heights, a man was attacked and beaten down by two men while they yelled homophobic slurs at him and a transgender woman was stabbed by a man following a gay pride parade.

Also in Jackson Heights at the 74th Ave./Roosevelt Ave. Station, a 20-year-old man and a 16-year-old boy jumped a man on the underground train platform and barrelled him with punches and kicks, breaking his jaw.

Again in Jackson Heights at the 74th Ave/Roosevelt Ave. Station, a man grabbed a woman’s butt and reached under her shirt on the platform as the train arrived, then grabbed her ass again when they boarded the E train.

And again in Jackson Heights, a rivet crashed through a window of a man’s business office from transit infrastructure renovations on the elevated train tracks.

In Maspeth, a diner featured in the greatest non-fiction mob movie of all time “Goodfellas” burned to the ground in a massive fire around 5 p.m.. The diner, which still was in business, decided to close that day, which incidentally is reminiscent of the scene when Jimmy, Tommy and Henry burned down the Bamboo Lounge. Only now it’s city government determining what businesses and landmarks stands and goes.

It also eerily gives the impression that there could possibly be another young man running corrupted errands and paying dues in his aspirations to become a gangster.

Also in Maspeth, a man broke into a nail salon and robbed it of $2,000.

In Lefrak City, a mentally disturbed man punched a cop in the face during his arrest.

In Middle Village, a man held up two banks in a span of thirty minutes, only able to get a paltry amount from the second bank he robbed.

In Ridgewood, a man carjacked two vehicles at gunpoint in three days. First with 3 other men, the second by himself.

Also in Ridgewood, a woman was held up at knifepoint and robbed of her purse by a man who she trusted to find her car and went along with him to his house to charge her phone.

In Briarwood, a man approached a 12-year-old girl on the sidewalk and gave her a dollar then grabbed her breasts when she let the perverted weirdo hug her.

In Bayside, three men drove up to a house on one motorcycle (!!!) and broke the front door window with a hammer then held up two workers inside at gunpoint and robbed them of $1,000 and a cellphone.

Also in Bayside, a man broke into a nail salon and an ice cream parlor, stealing a total of $3,750 by destroying an ATM and a cash register and unplugging the freezers.

In Floral Park, a car crash caused an ambulette to flip over, injuring 2 people.

In Forest Hills, a man tried to rob a bank but left when the teller took too long to get the money.

Also in Forest Hills on the E train, Showtime went awry when a dancer kicked a commuter in the leg, then punched him in the face and ran away with his dance partner.

In Rosedale, a man once arrested for police impersonation and made bail for it was caught with possessing a handgun, a shotgun, 370 bullet cartridges and police i.d.’s and a kevlar vest from the FBI during a drug investigation.

In Astoria, a man wearing only his briefs was found and rescued from the East River just before the current was about to take him towards the machinery of a power plant. Below is a dramatization of what could have resulted.

Also in Astoria, four men attacked and beat up a man and robbed a woman’s cellphone inside a pizzeria after a dispute with them.

In Kew Gardens, an idiot brought a fake grenade into the Queens County Courthouse.

In Bellerose, a fire broke out in a home, killing an 82-year-old woman.

In Far Rockaway, a woman burned to death inside her apartment.

In Jamaica, a woman died in a fire in her house surrounded and subsumed by all her hoarded belongings.

In Rikers Island, the woman who killed two toddlers with her car when she ran a red light in Park Slope was beaten up by a fellow inmate in the cafeteria.

Manhattan

In the Upper East and West Sides, a man stole cellphones off the hands of seven people while riding his bicycle. To all those shitheads who are inducing society to conduct consumer and financial transactions and the worst fucking transit system in the universe attempting to phase out metrocards to pay to ride using cellphones, you better fucking reconsider this method.

In Chinatown, a driver for an app-based service told two drunk women he picked up in Gowanus to leave his car because they were being a nuisance by making out in the back seat, playing their cellphones loud and one of them putting her feet by the driver’s seat. But all anyone knows about this incident is the driver’s inappropriate reaction and bias and not the women’s obnoxious behavior, sense of entitlement and their exploitation of a feminist rights and sexual identity politics movement.

In Times Square at the station of the same name, a man punched a conductor in the face while the train was moving, which was the sixth assault on transit workers in the last month which includes an L train conductor and 2 others also getting punched, a 4 train conductor getting spat on and called a racial slur when he announced the train was going local and a maintenance worker forced to take leave after being berated by commuter.

Also in Times Square at the Port Authority Terminal, a man living in his car parked on the fifth level was caught and arrested in possession of two guns, hollow-point bullets and a machete.

In Downtown Manhattan, a man wanted for hold-up robberies of GameStop stores got arrested after he held up a jewelry store at knifepoint and robbed it of $13,000 following to other holdups in a mattress store and a vitamin store.

In Turtle Bay, a man attempted to dance with a woman in a douche bar, angering her boyfriend who whipped out a knife and stabbed him in the gut and proceeded to attack and slash four of his friends he was with.

In Washington Square Park, a Samaritan who witnessing a fight between two men got assaulted by one of them with a tarp full of lug nuts.

In Greenwich Village, three men were shot at inside a hookah bar after an argument between two men who bumped into each other.

In Kips Bay, a man was beaten and stabbed to death in his sleep by a homeless man he gave aid to, inside his room at a group home.

Also in Kips Bay, ten teenage boys living in the ACS center by Bellevue Hospital ganged up and brutally beat down a man for his cell phone

In Tribeca, a woman yelled a racial slur then bashed a woman with a metal suitcase to her face who was just passing by her.

In Midtown, a popular rapper was shot at as he exited a swank hotel at 5 a.m.

Also in Midtown, two people committed suicide, one man who jumped from the 16th floor of a luxury residential building and a woman who leapt from the 17th floor of a hotel.

In the East Village, a vendor trying to stop two men from stealing his flowers got savagely beaten down to the ground by them, leaving him with a broken nose.

Also in the East Village, a man stalked a woman to her apartment building and grabbed her from behind inside the hallway and stole her purse.

Again in the East Village, a man with a cane snatched a wallet from a customer in a cafe then ran away.

And again in the East Village, a street art photo exhibit installation got heavily tagged with less aesthetically pleasing graffiti.

In Harlem, a brawl broke out in a funeral home that spilled out into the street, leading to the arrests of two people.

Also in Harlem, a man got shot to death on the street after an argument with his killer.

Again in Harlem, two men were falsely accused by NYPD detectives for a shooting incident as they proceeded to search them by throwing one to the ground and another against a scaffolding pole in a vain though fascistic illegal search for a gun in full view of passerby and with cellphone cameras rolling. The men were then cuffed and taken to the station house and threatened with being tased for “talking too much”.

In Hudson Heights, two men shot a bodega worker in the stomach in a hold up gone wrong.

In Hamilton Heights, a dead decomposing body of a dead man was found under a tree at Riverside Park.

In the Financial District, a man impersonating a cop threatened to kill another man after being cordial with him.

In Chelsea, a man talking to a woman on the street was hit by a car driven by a man with a suspended license and wound up in a coma.

Also in Chelsea, a man threatened an employee at a chain donut shop and robbed him of $500.

Again in Chelsea, a woman caught shoplifting in a department store got away when she threatened the guard with a hypodermic needle.

In Hell’s Kitchen, 15 kids wielding baseball bats started an old fashioned rumble that escalated into hundreds of students from two high schools fighting on the street.

Also in Hell’s Kitchen, a man killed himself as he collided into van with his dirtbike.

In Downtown Manhattan, a naked lady was running around with a stick and bashing it on any car she saw.

In East Harlem, a cop was struck by a car when she stepped into the street on the side of a van illegally parked in the bus lane.

In the Upper East Side, a homeless man barricaded himself inside a rental van while it was idling and obstructing traffic, giving witnesses the impression that it was an attempt to set off a bomb.

In the Upper West Side, a man hit his girlfriend with a hammer then set her on fire following an argument inside her apartment.

Also in the Upper West Side at the 72nd Street Station, an elderly serial groper grinded his wrinkled genitals up against a 27-year-old woman as the 1 train arrived.

Again in the Upper West Side, a hospitality executive renting a room for over 2 grand from Airbnb was greeted by a rat who crawled on him in bed

In Union Square, a man and woman broke into a pizzeria and robbed it of $10,000 from a safe. The restaurant was burglarized twice before by the suspected duo.

In Gramercy Park, three teenage boys approached a man feigning to ask for the time ambushed him from behind and knocked him out and robbed his belongings after severely beating and choking him

Also in Gramercy Park, a man assaulted a chain drug store employee who tried to stop him from stealing deodorant.

In Stuyvesant Town, a man is leaving various kinds of rotting food in front of apartment doors.

On the Manhattan Bridge, a man riding his bike killed himself when he hit a support beam even though he wore a helmet.

In Grand Central Station, a stupid rat trying to run up the up escalator got cavalierly kicked by a commuter.

At the Columbus Circle Station on the A train, a big fat cop brought his Segway on the train and left immediately when commuters looked at him with combined befuddlement and disgust.

(welcome back, gothamishit)

Staten Island

In New Brighton, a man drove up to a house with people hanging out in front and shot at them.

In South Beach, a man was found dead floating in water by the shore.

In Mariners Harbor, shots were fired in front of a playground and a man shot at a house.

In Bulls Head, a man and a woman held up a hardware store at knifepoint.

In New Springfield, a five-alarm fire that was ignited by a child playing with a lighter engulfed two houses leading to injuries to twenty firemen. One of the homes belonged to a fire marshal.

Also in New Springfield, a man broke into a teacher’s car an hour before sunrise and stole her handbag.

In West Brighton, a man that was shot on a street corner was caught possessing bags of crack and a loaded gun.

Also in West Brighton, a man was hit by a flatbed trailer attached to a pick-up truck as it kept driving and ignored the yelling of witnesses.

In Stapleton, a man was killed crossing the street by a drunk driver who tried to speed off but was stopped by a relative who punched through the window and then at the driver’s face.

In St. George, a man squatting inside an apartment building set it on fire with a candle that spread to neighboring buildings and initially tried to put it out with his dick.