Luxury Bar Owners Gets City Permission To Run An Exclusive Resort Tropical Anomaly On A Canal St. Lot That’s Maintained And Nourished By Siphoning Public Emergency Water From A Fire Hydrant

030Ummm, no. Oh, hell no.

Manhattan, New York

On the border of Soho and Tribeca, high end real estate burgs occupied with a diverse population of multi-millionaires ranging from the fields of entertainment, media, investment and illicit capital and of course real estate, an actual oasis lush with tropical potted plants and palm trees materialized in a usually abandoned gravel lot. A thing called Gitano opened up by one of the busiest traffic intersections in the city on Canal St. This bar/restaurant and modern gilded age bizarro world concept came from the minds of two rich party dudes and is derived from and named after an establishment they run in a luxury vacation jungle in Mexico.

It also came with the approval for some reason by the Community Board and rubber stamped by your city of New York.

According to an incredulous article by the Tribeca Citizen:

The other day, this flyer caught my eye: The vacant lot at the northeast corner of Varick and Canal has been the site of many interesting temporary endeavors (most recently an aborted outpost of Smorgasburg), and a “Community Garden style space” seemed an unlikely, but welcome, addition. Alas, I had already missed the meeting. When I asked Community Board 2 for more info, I assumed they thought I was talking about something else, because they kept saying that the matter was now in front of the State Liquor Authority. Why would a “Community Garden style space,” especially one involving the City-As-School high school, need a liquor license?

Gitano, as it will be called, will be a “fully outdoor tropical garden jungle style restaurant similar to the Principals current operation in Tulum, Mexico; this will include a Mexican restaurant and bar with one main operator Grupo Gitano, LLC with a partner retail store and a partner coffee/café; there will also be a meditation circle/reflecting pool area on the southerly portion of the lot for restaurant and coffee patrons and a separately accessed community garden styled area growing herbs and vegetables with an educational component for schools and non-profit groups in the southeast corner; alcohol service and consumption will be limited to the Restaurant and Bar area only […] The restaurant and bar area will be primarily seasonally operated May to November in 2018 and 2019 only.”

“The open gravel lot is roughly 23,465 square feet, surrounded by a fence and will be improved with temporary structures, plumbing, running water and electricity among other improvements; the interior of the lot will include many large lush tropical styled plants […] which will be brought in for each season and removed in the off season to warmer climates; the north central portion of the lot along Grand Street will house a the partner coffee area with 11 tables and 30 seats; the northeast corner will be the ‘back of house’ servicing area with fully plumbed toilets, refrigerated storage areas, a finishing kitchen; dry goods storage and garbage area; the bulk of the premises is the restaurant and central bar area which is rectangular in shape spreading east to west located in the center northern portion of the lot which is accessed through the primary entrance which is set back from Grand Street; in the restaurant bar area there are five separate seating areas, some fully covered and some located on wood platforms and some on crushed granite; there will be 400 table seats including banquet seating and 100 tables, there are 30 bar stools at the bar; the Southern portion of the premises will have a meditation circle in the Southwest corner, a reflecting pool in the center and a community garden styled area in the Southeast area.”

Sounds interesting if you like into this sort of stuff, which are easily available all over the city and the boroughs of Brooklyn and Queens close to the bridges. But this absolutely not inviting, for this paradise is durably cloaked two times over with black mesh. It all depends on what community you’re from. Examples like being a single working mom or the actor that played Liz Lemon’s boyfriend.





Neat, huh. But this ain’t nothing compared to what the community minded entrepreneur and LLC collective running this fake ass oasis describes as plumbing improvements to the vibrant lot.

Check out this fucking tank just barely exposed and sticking out above the fence!


…and look at the natural water source!042
What’s this little nozzle and hose poorly hidden under the gravel? So now you can see how these tropical trees and plants will survive away from their equatorial natural habitat. And who knows maybe they are filtering taxpaying city water to produce the ice for their creative artisan cocktails. It looks like these bozos were so caught up in their wild vibrant ideas that they couldn’t find a way to do even a half-assed job to obscure their little water preserver. And an essential device for the FDNY to prevent the spreading of a devastating, destructive, life endangering fire. Although the sun and the earth’s rotation does give them a hand casting a shadow on the incriminating hose. It might be safe to assume they just don’t give a shit because all those involved have a modicum of fame, as well as your fucking city because it’s dependent on all this lifestyle money as a source of funding for your civil and civic services.


This absurd theater is based on tons of bullshit. It’s curious to know who is on this community board to give the thumb’s up to this anomaly, does it consist of crass individuals from the restaurant and hospitality industries as well as immoral hedge funders and venture capital vultures? Why couldn’t Robert Dinero, Tribeca resident and film festival promoter tell these overpriced tapas and tequila pushers to fuck themselves too? The blatant duplicity by pushing this as some kind of high school project is quite creative if brazenly immoral and unethical. Too bad those morons at Rockaway Brewery and Slate Property couldn’t pull this same bait and switch grift when they tried to open a beach on a dirty poisoned lot in Ridgewood a few years back.

This fucking tropical dump is on the goddamn starfuckers occupying City Hall. All of this, and anything that has emanated from the skulls of any elected and appointed officials in the last 2 decades, make no damn sense at all.

But mostly it’s on the hipshits that love this luxury poser lifestyle shit and flock to it like the oblivious lemmings they are that a market exists for this. (Remember Frye Festival?). Only a demographic this stupid can make something culturally universal and commonly frugal like Mexican Cuisine into high end dining.

The only way this gets fixed is not to put an end to it for using a city emergency resource to justify it’s existence, for it’s going to be going on for four months and another four next year, but to actually open it up to everyone that wants to go in and enjoy their food and drinks, but mostly want to sit in the cool shade provided by the plumage around them since the majority of the humans in New York can’t afford their asinine prices.


It’s clear why they need all that isolating dark mesh to begin with, to block out the inconvenient ugliness of poverty and traffic. This tacky faux gilde age jungle is nothing more or less than a symbol of the induced gentrifcation going on your city and in metropolises around the world. Yes, world.

Open it up for the community like these water raiders promised they would. Hell let the homeless in too so they can rest somewhere nice for a while and maybe enjoy the amenities that regular hard working, stagnant wage earning people never have had or ever will have access too. And even get some gardening lessons in the meantime.

Thanks for your concern, Gitano Group. Every citizen of the five boroughs are looking forward to your contribution to this vibrant, diverse city.



It looks like the proprietors and their venture capital investors had to use their own cash to spring for a new water resource:


Let that be a lesson to ya, mostly to the shit-for-brains starfuckers at City Hall for approving this appalling nonsense and initially ignoring the siphoning of the city taxpayer’s water.

You’re welcome.



The Bicycle Grief

NY Daily News: Dockless bikes headed for Coney Island and the Rockaways

City officials said Thursday that dockless bike-share companies will operate this summer in a few far-flung neighborhoods that don’t have Citi Bikes zipping by.


Starting in July, the city’s dockless bike-share pilot program will roll out in Coney Island and the Rockaways. Later in the summer, residents in the Bronx near Fordham University and Staten Island’s North Shore will get dockless bikes, giving the boroughs their first bike-share system. The city’s wants to put in 200 dockless bikes, some with a pedal-assist feature, for half-hour trips.

“We are bringing new, inexpensive transportation options to neighborhoods that need them,” Mayor de Blasio said in a statement.


That’s right citizens, tarting tomorrow in July, the city run by Mayor Bill de Blasio with the Department of Transportation (and certainly induced by agent of the city Transportation Alternatives CEO Paul Steely White and the REBNY overlords) is about to unleash a vibrant new transportation option for traversing the landmark boardwalk in Coney and the eroding coast of Rockaway with the brand new and quite risky dockless bike share service.

According to the N.Y. Post, the Daily News and AMNY, the contracts were given to 12 entities (!!!) including newer models provided by existing ugly bike provider Citibike. Why Citibike couldn’t just put the docks and bikes they already make and release in the city and the fucking expensive parts of Brooklyn for this incoming deluge of course looks stupid and wasteful and doesn’t make sense, but nothing has been making sense for quite a damn long time in New Fun City 2.0.

By the way, some of these bikes will be boosted with electronic motors. Like these hideous orange ones manufactured by JUMP being ridden by these two neo-maxi zoom dweebies below:

These motorcycles, or more appropriate title could be pussycycles and the 11 other companies will be located then activated by fucking apps so you can go to your merry little way for about one of two bucks a pop depending on how far you’re going or how long you’re riding whichever comes first. This dockless bikeshare being forced on the public is supposed to be a temporary thing, so it’s basically the city using the towns as specimens in a big labratory for what’s on it’s face a big competition between obnoxious startups. For this surely will be interesting to watch and then unfold into unsightly chaos.

One thing I notice with a majority of shCitiBike riders is that they ride real reckless and fast at times and I think it’s not only attributable to what selfish reckless assholes they are but they may be trying to get it to the dock in time at the allotted time they pay for to avoid being overcharged. What’s going to happen if someone takes a little too long on the dockless bikes, do the bottom bracket, wheel axel or pedal crank just freeze up and then you got to dismount? For that may be the reason why it has been clearly a bad idea in China:


Although there will be a limited amount of bikes, only 200 in each area to start, bikes being left against storefronts or homes, or prone on the sidewalk or boardwalk, strewn on dry grass areas and even on the beach will be a common vexing sight. Despite being eyesores, the JUMP bikes actually come equip with U locks which is a slight improvement and has an jumping advantage on their competitors. The inevitable problem that will arise will be where they will wind up being locked when the riding time is up. Probably on the gates and fences of homes and business driveways and hogging parking sign posts and bike racks making it impossible for independent bike owners to lock up their bikes to get sundries, go to the ATM or the post office. Which will lead to irritating optical and veritable two wheel junkyards like this:


Or this


Or possibly even this (yes that door did open at the next stop, spoiler alert, it fell).


So that’s what all you folks trying to enjoy a day at the beach are going to see for the nigh 2 to 3 months and areas in the Bronx and Staten Island come August when you all will see bikes ornamenting the streets and sidewalks (maybe more, you know this mayor and his bullshit frosting remedying for his disastrous and stupid programs and policies).

Mostly the main rationale for this stupid startup conundrum is to provide an alternative for the looming L train Canarsie Tunnel shutdown for all the elitist big spending dummies that are so cool for Brooklyn that turn their noses up and cringe at the thought of riding a bus and making transfers in addition to getting their adult diapers in a bunch at the thought or just the concept of making the necessary adjustments like every other common sense using citizen of NYC.

For convenience has become a luxury and privilege in this app-driven economy based town. So to the latter take this advice and watch your step and look both ways for barren idle bikes in your path and the certain scofflaw idiots on these awkward bikes that will run the reds and fancily swerve around you.

And get ready to embrace the schandefreude at our elected and appointed morons with the rainbow metal street detritus that is sure to manifest itself.


Armageddon Still In Effect: Public Enemy’s “It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back” is 30

30 years ago, Public Enemy and Def Jam released this landmark hip hop album. Without a doubt the greatest rap album ever created.

This was the Sgt. Peppers of Hip Hop albums, and it’s significance, it’s also Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Goin’ On”, which was the main goal of the band for it’s inspiration. But sonically, stylistically and aesthetically, it’s also  Sly Stone’s “There’s A Riot Goin’ On”, Jimi Hendrix’s “Are You Experienced”, The Clash’s “London Calling” as well as their first album, Prince’s Purple Rain and even Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” since it resembles and flows like a concept album. And like those albums it stands alone.

Although it was preceded by Run-D.M.C.’s hat trick of classic albums and also LL Cool J’s The Beastie Boys, Eric B. and Rakim and Boogie Down Productions excellent and raw debuts, this was the album that officially progressed the rap genre into the album format and started what is now deservedly called the Golden Age Of Rap. The album has absolutely no filler, even the instrumental breaks on the album are excellent and serve as suspense for the next tracks. Two of them, “Security Of The First World” and “Show Em Whatcha Got” actually became the basis of classic songs themselves by Madonna and Jay-Z

This album solidified Public Enemy as one of the most unique and greatest bands of all time of any genre. Chuck D’s condensed and unabashed political lyrics and innovative rapping style, Flavor Flav’s hysterical interjecting and standout personality, Terminator X’s virtuoso scratching (maybe the best of all time) and the Bomb Squad’s wall of chaotic sound and intricate sampling, mostly of white noise high pitched screeching horns, came to the forefront of this musical manifesto.

Then there is the album. Chuck D managed to combine the usual braggadocio with soapbox ranting of the ills of society being meted from government policies to the effects on the streets nationally and internationally and pervasive racism and classism that still goes on to this day.

“Don’t Believe The Hype” targeted the commercial news media, which had already compromised itself with it’s coverage (or lack) of Vietnam and it’s protests, by going after their business model of sensationalism. This song was also a prophecy of the news media’s reliance on “The Culture Of Fear” and “Fake News”.

“Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos”, with it’s ominous Isaac Hayes piano riff, is a fantasy song inspired by Muhammed Ali’s conscientious objection of the Vietnam War, of breaking out of prison after being sentenced for refusing to serve an unjust war. “Night Of The Living Baseheads” covers the urban poverty zombie apocalypse from the crack epidemic at the time,(which is now updated with the rise of K-2 in the past 2 years).

“Cold Lampin With Flavor” is a wild freestyle solo cut by Flavor Flav followed by the band’s own DJ praise song “Terminator X to the Edge of Panic” (with an hysterical Queen Flash Gordon dicing in the beginning by TX). “Caught, Can I Get A Witness” takes on the hypocrisy of critics of sampling, being that acclaimed and seminal rock’n’roll music heavily lifted riffs from early Black blues musicians  (ask Jimmy Page). The foray into heavy metal crossover with the mindless soap program obsessive “She Watch Channel Zero” with it’s savage sample of Slayer’s “Angel Of Death” middle part (that band is actually funky). The wicked no. 7 songs on each side “Louder than a bomb” and “Prophets of Rage” and the finale “Party For Your To Fight are also anthems to inspiring protest and resistance.

But this album’s best songs were actually the singles, the detonators set for this masterpiece that came out shortly after their debut album came out during their first tour. Signals that had absolutely no choruses like the best protest anthems had. There was “Bring The Noise” (which was actually featured on a eclectic Rick Rubin produced soundtrack from the coming of age cocaine movie Less Than Zero) and the monstrous first single “Rebel Without A Pause” which exploded from college radio and into the national consciousness is arguably the greatest rap song of all time. Both songs are carried by Chuck D.’s devastating lyricism and rhyming steering the seminal James Brown Funky Drummer sample and culminating with Terminator X’s scratching and transforming that rivals any guitar shredding solo in any headbanging metal song.

Despite it’s age, which in the rap genre can be considered prehistoric, it’s relevance is still current and vital and is still felt today even in the unacknowledged song of the summer Childish Gambino’s “This Is America”. You can play this album today and come to the realization that shit hasn’t changed. The media still sucks ass, something this fucked in the head President today still brings up to his advantage. There is still endemic corruption in government, politicians are still bought more than ever before with some actually bragging about it, the states are still improperly vetting and hiring abusive cops and racism and classism are still being perpetuated in a nation more culturally and economically divided.

And because there is any band or artist making rebel music today, this album remains a political soundtrack even three decades later Now that the mass majority of working class citizens and this land that is under siege from this President and his Plutocabinet of greedy morons and a gutless Congress. A looming fascism that will not be said from  corporate networks more concerned with manufacturing consent, the budgetary dependence of morally bereft and loosely regulated giant banks, and a justice and electoral system still controlled by the influence of unlimited and untraceable mass amounts of money.

So since there is nothing out there musically to channel the rage against this existential machine. Might as well dust off this album, whatever format you have it in, and bring the noise again and again. Like MC Chuck D said…

“reach the bourgeos and rock the boulevard.”





Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Wins 14th District Congressional Primary; Good Riddance Virginia Joe Crowley

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez emerges victorious, winning 57% of the vote, trouncing her opponent and longtime political hack Joe Crowley, the alleged “King Of Queens”.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez pulls this off despite no mainstream news media attention since her announcement to run a year ago and raising 3 million dollars less than Crowley for her campaign run. Showing that resorting to soliciting cash and then compromising to defer to the mega-doners is becoming a thing of a sordid recent past since the passage of Citizens United. This is what breaking a glass ceiling sounds like.


She brings with her a platform to bring medicare for everyone and to tamp down on the influence of Wall Street predatory-style rampant runaway capitalism in national laws and policies and the defunding of the redundant and sneaky law enforcement agency, Immigration Customs Enforcement.

As for her devastated opponent…

Congressman Joe Crowley, his guitar and the Queens Machine, 1998-2018.

Congratulations again to Congresswoman-elect Ocasio-Cortez. Outstanding campaign. Best candidate in a very long long long time. You and your righteous platform are going to be practically alone at D.C and the swamp is thicker than ever. Then there is that damn aspiring king American Gangster Trump, who thinks the people of Bronx and Queens voted for you because Joe wasn’t “nice to him”

Go get ’em kid.





Primary Congressman Gregory Meeks Out Of Office 5th District By Writing In A Vote For A Ham Sandwich. Gregory Meeks with his hands still free.

Queens, N.Y.

The problematic and one of the most corrupt elected officials in Congress, Gregory Meeks is running to maintain his position today in District 5. He is the most luckiest of tainted politicos in D.C. and a big fat ass solicitor of donor cash.

He is able to “serve” his district by living in a mansion in St. Albans that he couldn’t afford and relied on payments via a loan from an indicted realtor and a Democrat fundraiser who donated personally and laundered cash through one of his companies so Meeks could pay back the realtor. The congressman, through his elected official position and shady money lending through party donations, is basically a squatter in his own palace. He also was involved in a grift with a crony non-profit over $56,000 that was supposed to be donated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina but they never received it.

While his district is suffering from myriad problems like pollution, the biggest amount of home foreclosures in Queens and steady crime rates, he has continued to live large and lavishly at the expense of his constituency, so he has to fucking go.

He has two opponents that are not familiar for the reason that they don’t have enough money to compete, which is how the DNC and the DCCC wants it, because you know decisions were made. So instead of not voting for the unfamiliar, write in someone or even something that you are familiar with.

But I propose for the 5th district, the FIGHTING 5TH, the most qualified candidate to usurp the perpetually corrupt and useless Meeks is by writing in the blank space and vote for a Ham Sandwich.


Why a Ham Sandwich? Why the hell not? It’s not indebted to corporations and their donor money, not ethically challenged and doesn’t owe money on a house like that fat ass Meeks.

And it’s not a waste of your vote, because as someone once said, people would vote for a ham sandwich if they could, so why not finally oblige and make reality that theory*. That way if the candidate above wins, maybe the political parties will stop shoving assholes at us to entrust our tax dollars and dwindling faith and hope with. And maybe it will inspire more formidable independent candidates to run too.

So do your duties citizens. Don’t waste another vote. Vote for Ham Sandwich and primary that jerk Meeks out.

*Actually, the real origin was about how a prosecutor could indict a ham sandwich if he or she could, which shows that Gregory Meeks existence in Congress is mystifyingly baffling considering all the shit he’s pulled.




Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Deserves Your Vote For Congress, 14th District Of New York

Queens, N.Y.

Today is the day to make genuine social change and get rid of a perpetually useless, avaricious and selfish elected hack in Congressman Joe Crowley. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a Bronx born and bred 28-year-old woman and former teacher and waitress is outstandingly more qualified to represent the citizens of Queens and the Bronx.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is super informative not only on local politics and issues but also on international issues as well. Her platform is solid and will truly help this district’s working poor and middle class constituency and could possibly influence progressive legislation in the nation as well. This woman knows income disparity is getting worse and is making it impossible for people to save and advance in life. Most of all, she knows the toxic influence of money from giant corporations and dynastic wealth into politics is the priority substantial threat to democracy.

The latter summarizes the last two decades of existence in Congress of “Virginia” Joe Crowley. His nickname long known in Queens being that he doesn’t live in the borough he was elected and purports to represent. But because of excessive donor cash and nepotism, which could be why the Republican party has never put up a viable candidate to beat him. Or didn’t even bother for that rea$on alone.

So since the right doesn’t want to bother and he is a reliable bipartisan ally when it comes to whoring for one percenter donor cash, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is attacking from the left where Joe has at the last minute embraced because of her public profile reached nationally because of a dynamic campaign ad.

After refusing to acknowledge her for a year and in the winding weeks of spring, Mr. Crowley accepted her request for a debate on television and predictably got fed his overdue lunch.

While he stammered, stuttered, pathetically pandered to his multicultural constituency and at one point accused her of supporting the owning of military grade assault weapons and bumpstocks, she dominated the majority and took advantage of the brief time of the debate (about 19 minutes!) by sticking to the relevant issues and offering legitimate solutions and got in his face about the fallacy he touts about Democrat party solidarity in fighting President Trump’s twitter based policies and ideological stands shaping government and our perception from (former) allies and embracing facism, the established influence of Wall Street and Stadium Banks ghostwriting legislation to further benefit itselves and not doing enough to challenge the gun lobby and the private equity firms that bolster the selling of the weapons he brought up to undermine her.

He has proven to be a heinous bastard and inveterate sellout. No one is more deserving of utter humiliation and destruction, the same he is meting via his fraudulent pose and pathetic pandering as a progressive and his cozy political career as an elected official. He has proven this along with his desperation to hold on to his undeserved position with vile race-baiting by claiming that he couldn’t help being born white.

Beyond all that, Crowley’s money whoring both proves that he will not do a damn thing stopping Trump’s insane and expensive policies, which he hasn’t done already, but is just like him with his duplicitous behavior, brazen lying and of course being a silver spooned fed manchild whose career is derived from good fortune nepotism.

All you have to do is look around, not only in district 14 but throughout the five boroughs and you can see the consequences of Mr. Crowley’s obeisance to his donors and obscene cronyism. Look at all the towers being built which has resulted in the rising of rents, which takes half of your paycheck away to survive having a roof over your head, look out it’s draining services and the toll it’s having on the streets and transit. Look at the thousands of homeless people forced to live in hotels after being disenfranchised from their homes and on the streets thanks to Joe’s complicity with and his major role of government’s part of the Gentrification Industrial Complex. Look at all the heroin junkies in the street and reading about those dying every day from the effects of the real gateway drug, prescriptive painkillers, another industry “Virginia Joe” unquestionably takes money from to influence his legislative duty.

Well, folks are going to have their opinions on Trump, but this is about this opportunistic irrelevant asshole Crowley here, who is exploiting that bastard’s brazen and blatant incompetence and fascism (incompetent fascism?) so he can get re-elected and continue to enrich himself and his lawyer friends and real estate, stadium bank and private equity donors (just like his elected hack peers in the McResistance)

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez knows that the we, the people make and run this nation and it isn’t going to run efficiently or smoothly when they can’t make the rent or when they are devoid of health care. And it definitely won’t run at all with a shitty version of democracy being dictated by oligarchs and plutocrats being machinated by useful idiots like Joe Crowley.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez and her presence in Congress will give a sliver of hope for true reform in DC and this city, which certainly has the gentrification industrial complex shitting in their skivvies being that the Bronx is now targeted for hyperdevelopment and market rate rental fabrication/speculation. If not then this bald asshole will make certain there is absolutely no progress for the working poor, middle class and even scared immigrants in the process to get citizenship in this city and nation and more perks and profits for his dumb ass self.

To paraphrase a bit from Alexandria’s ad, even though she makes it starkly plain at the end, Congressman Joe Crowley only serves and listens to money. He didn’t serve and didn’t listen to the people.

Vote for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Let’s get this jerk out of Congress and destroy the corporate stranglehold and the pernicious influence of the Queens and Democrat Machines.




Just Walk Away From The MTA, Transit President Andy Byford Byford and that moment of clarity he abandoned to take the reins of the MTA, the worst fucking transit system of the universe.

Andy Byford may have just realized he is in way over his head and out of his league in his well-paid state service leadership position (yeah it’s redundant, I’m writing about the MTA again so fuck off).

President Byford is trying really hard though. He did come up with that budget study assessing that it would take $37 billion dollars to overhaul the mega-shitshow mass transit system, despite having no current idea or plan how to pay for it. I mean, he is not a bad bloke, he kind of resembles a mixture of Moby and Thom Yorke and he is a big fan of legendary new wave band The Smiths, so big that he thought it was prudent to mention and discuss fave tracks by them during a live social media style town hall with frustrated commuters complaining about consistent shitty service a while back (my personal fave by the way, is the WLIR extended remix of “This Charming Man”), but at least he has been apparently honest and straightforward.

But with recent incidents unfortunate and even optically progressive, he’s starting to sound like and resemble a harrowed Karl Pilkington, trying to cajole and persuade the public that their commutes will be fine in light and in spite of delays, dubious improvements, and potential and real time infrastructure hazards. In which all three occurred at once at Borough Hall one lazy afternoon. 

The Borough Hall station, which serves the 4 and 5 express trains, had a giant slab of plaster and concrete from the platform’s ceiling collapse on a woman, whose life was spared by the dangling lamp above. This station, which is one stop away from the gloriously renovated Atlantic Avenue Station thanks to the existence of the Barclays Arena and was visited by gubernatorial longshot candidate Cynthia Nixon on June 1, has been going through it’s own purgatory-like state of neglect by the MTA that makes the five year (but scheduled for three) upgrade at the Lefferts Blvd. Station look almost punctual and efficient by comparison.

President Byford showed up with his safety vest and his expertise and pointing his fingers at the obvious problem made clear by the exposed brick and ribar displayed above and stating that “There is evidence of water ingress. You’ve got a bit of paint peeling,” (a bit?) and “This is a very old station, at the end of the day, but we will get to the bottom of what happened.” I guess it’s a good display of transparency, but sandwiching that wretched cliche “at the end of the day”?  What the fuck you need to say that for, Andy? Really failed to reassure and salve the public there. Although it’s hard to really do damage control when the damage is a big pile of jagged plaster lying on the platform.

The woman assaulted by the MTA’s neglect made a great point how she could have been killed, but also how fortunate that it was 3:30 in the afternoon, a few hours before rush hour and school is out for summer, because certainly a group of kids would have got killed or injured at that moment.

In spite, or maybe more like passive indifference towards social media sharing by commuters and solid reporting by the now digital Village Voice, the MTA’s approach for maintaining this station has been quite an embarrassment. For all the cosmetic improvements that have graced certain stations, this is what one of the station entrances looks like a few months ago:

DaIgPUFX4AA_Elx(Jason Rabinowitz)


Speaking of such station cosmetic improvements, I mean, errrr enhancements, Byford even got a little defensive and testy trying to explain the admirably swift completion of two elevated stations in Astoria featuring more art, windowed walls, aesthetically pleasing benches, wifi and usb ports. although it also has the obligatory fuckup with a low hanging destination sign that a commuter bonked his head on.

“Don’t be fooled by the beautiful artwork and cosmetic nature,” Byford said. “These were fundamental, deep-rooted repairs that we made to the underlying fabric of the station. It’s very important.”

Surprisingly, Andy was not the slightest sussed by the utter absence of an elevator at these new decorative stations, again denying the handicapped, elderly and mothers and children in baby strollers for safe egress. A necessity that was previously a crucial concern for the overburdened transit president in his previous job in Toronto.

But the worst gaffe to come from the president’s mouth in his myriad efforts to spin these issues and pathetic attempts at damage control may have been what he said just days before the Borough Hall ceiling collapse. Andy Byford, your humble transparent public servant, believes that the presence of overcrowding does not effect the slow service of the trains. And he is/they are going to eradicate this debilitating and growing contribution in future transit reports.

This is an interesting development as well as a demented irony being that the only overhauling being done at the MTA is re-categorizing reasons and origins for horrible service, which they did rather deftly when they previously blamed it on Con Ed. Something is afoot here. Although the passengers only offense is actually paying $2.75 for crappy service and not for the notorious pace of and indifference to essential repairs to the system, most likely the tracks, the singles and now the ceilings, it is undeniable that overpopulation from the amount of people that have moved to this city and the relentless yearly amount of tourists has had a massive effect. Especially and most devastatingly on the stations in the boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn closest to Manhattan and in the metropolis itself.

Here’s proof, this photo was taken on the A train while between the Jay St. and Hoyt St. stops, and there was barely even a delay


This is the result when the train is late for less than 2 minutes. The capacity for trains at the end of the day like the F going to Brooklyn, the E going to Queens and the 6 in Manhattan, the latter a fucking local train, is where it’s actually like sardines in a crushed box and it’s in areas where the most and highest tower development pestilence has occurred. And then there is the fucking L train to northeast and central goddamn Brooklyn, where airbnb and other moronic app-based room rentals are consuming dwellings where regular folks with common sense used to occupy and definitely in buildings owned by LLCs’ where one room apartments were converted to two rooms by predatory landlords, packing in more dumb frivolous spending bodies. It makes it easy to cynically assume that perhaps the cabal/pogrom/overlords of the Real Estate Board Of New York might have had an influence in Andy’s decision (as they do with every other fucking thing to make the city impossible to afford and run your own business) to exempt the moneyed, condo-owning and arrested development types in their 20’s and 30’s overpopulation of this city from being partly responsible for these delays.

Speaking of these demographics, these people are the worst violators of commuting with their eyes constantly averted down and fingers relentlessly tapping their phone screens as they are entering the train, blocking the doors and even exiting and entering the station. And they also crowd into the cars nearest their exits at their stop, leaving everyone completely fucked as they are not able to board because of the crush of the bodies concentrated as the doors open and shut. Andys. The disappointed and the overwhelmed but still arrogant.

But what else can Andy do, the poor sod. He’s only been here barely a year and he is wracking his brain trying to fix the MTA and over a half century of incompetence, profligacy and neglect and the ramifications which seem to be manifesting all at the same time. It would have been nice to have Andy around when the MTA gave Forest City Ratner a big ass gift with their knuckleheaded sale of the Atlantic Transit Yard a decade and a half ago.

And it must be thrilling to wonder what’s going on in Andy’s mind now that these very  ramifications resulting from said profligacy by the other Andy, Governor Cuomo with his decision to accelerate the first half of the 2nd Ave Line for his New Year’s Eve party along with the 7 train extension to the Blade Runner development Hudson Yards and the billion dollar one-stop Metro-North extension to Grand Central from Penn Station. And how even the new aesthetic masonry of Penn Station and even the 2nd Ave line are starting to show cracks and debilitation. And don’t forget all those tech inspired enhancements! And the Kusciusko Bridge laser light shows!

There are many, many more that can be sited for the reason that the Borough Hall station looks like and has got the same maltreatment as a NYCHA apartment. But it’s clear that Andy Byford, admirable and courageous that he is to take on the worst fucking transit system in the universe, is not going to last long in this town despite putting up a brave front. So maybe it’s best if he just walks away and leaves it for another man or woman to deal with this festering shitshow.

There’s too much to handle, too much money that’s not available, too much bullshit, too much pain. Just walk away Andy. It’s really not worth it. This subway will never be fixed in our lifetimes and will barely be there in the future. Sorry about this fatalistic and bleak prognosis, but this is the reality all these rich, educated derelicts responsible for it have created.

If you haven’t figured it out Mr. President or are just a trusting nice guy; the MTA held off on repairing the Canarsie Tunnel right after Sandy hit because it would have interfered with the continuing gentrification and luxurification of Williamsburg, Greenpoint and the cancerous creep into Bushwick. If the tunnel was repaired like it should have been, if the MTA showed any responsability and common sense and got it enhanced, every stupid hipster and yuppie would have moved out of those aforementioned towns and the real estate magnates would have never built or bought anything and the rental and housing market wouldn’t be insanely overvalued and inflated like it is now for them to heinously profit from.

Besides, you don’t wanna be around when the L shuts down in 10 months (10 minutes to midnight ha!), because there is no fucking plan for it. I don’t think you even have one. Just admit it, believe me you’re definitely not alone. No. One. Has. A. Fucking. Clue.

Just walk away, Andy. Fuck the MTA.








The Nation Of Canada Has Made Marijuana Legal While The City Of New York Makes The Legality Of Smoking It Complex! Canada!

On July 1st, Canada will commence to mandate marijuana for official unadulterated legalization, ending the way overdue prohibition of the mighty weed.  And here’s a fun fact that you have to be blazing high to believe it, but this is only the second nation in the world to come to their senses to make it legal for distribution, the other being Uruguay which legalized it 4 years ago.

Canada’s full on legalization doesn’t start until October so they can suss out the logistics to make it ready for law enforcement and businesses to naturalize the process. But being that every pot smoking citizen will no longer feel paranoid about lighting up in the nation, things are going to be fine like the kind. Also the fact that Canada will be first in line for data research from all fields regarding marijuana. But what they’ll mostly benefit from the weed is surely from medicinal uses, which is noted for fighting glaucoma and the deleterious effects from cancer and has recently been discovered as a deterrent to stave off effects of CTE disorder.

This means that whatever budgetary largesse Canada is going to lose with Stronghead Trump’s senseless tariffs to our neighbor above us, the Great White And Greener North will surely make up for it with the legitimate business sales and taxes that will be accrued from tons and tons of Mary Jane. While this country and the stubborn burnt out elected hacks in DC will continue to lag behind being swallowed by trillions of dollars in debt and with millions of people capable of working and paying taxes imprisoned because of this ass backwards century old prohibition of pot.

While in New York City, which is supposedly so fucking vibrant and diverse for disgusting craft beer and lousy expensive bourbon but not for smoking joints and blunts, Mayor de Blasio decided to order his NYPD to lay off tokers with a rather paltry and lame stab at decriminalizing possession and the public smoking of pot. Being that this was decided after it was found that the majority of arrests for Blacks and Hispanics were overly outnumbered by the amount of emergency complaints that were called in by people offended by the sweet sticky aromas of smoke exhalation.

It turns out that this half-measured wink-and-nudge command by the ethically bereft and defiantly hypocritical mayor makes a lot of exceptions for who gets a summons, which is a pain in the ass by itself because you still have to waste a day to go to court and who gets cuffed.

The department will issue criminal court summonses to people found smoking marijuana, the two sources said, unless the person:

  • Has a misdemeanor or felony warrant
  • Is on parole or probation
  • Is categorized as a violent offender
  • If police can’t verify their identity or their address
  • If the person is in the driver’s seat of a car.
  • If the office can offer a “legitimate law enforcement exception.”


So according to these six exceptions, the disparity stops will not cease. These arbitrary regulations are redundant being that if pot is decriminalized then it even should apply to these smokers too. With the exception of driving while stoned and lacking I.D., two of the rules are plainly openended (“the categorizing by and the purported legitimate law enforcement exception”), for Blacks and Hispanics will still be stopped for smoking weed because of these prevaricated suspicions of which will be enhanced thanks to the hazy presence of buddah in the air. It’s highly likely that citizens of the middle eastern and South Asian persuasions will be stopped too.

As White folks, especially those hip White folks, will continue to smoke weed with glorious impunity being that they are the number one consumers of pot in this city and the lowest of the races charged. Which will give those fortunate sons and daughters with access to that pot speakeasy in Greenpoint* more reason to celebrate in their stoner crapulence and apathy.

Canada’s full on legalization doesn’t start until October so they can suss out the logistics to make it ready for law enforcement and businesses to naturalize the process. But being that every pot smoking citizen will no longer feel paranoid about lighting up in the nation, things are going to be fine like the kind when the autumn solstice comes around. Also the fact that Canada will be first in line for data research from all fields regarding marijuana.

As for what the city, particularly for those upholding and enforcing the law and Mayor Big Slow continuing to waffle, it’s going to get more expensive for everyone who are determined who shouldn’t be toking and to taxpayers who prefer not to get high with unnecessary police deployments, court hearings and of course jail time for a joint or a baggie. Another ramification will be the continuing rise of the usage and the market of K-2 for those who can’t afford the quality buds or the lack of availability of them from busted sellers because this state is still lollygagging on the issue. Even though 9 other states have already legalized it and Colorado has seen billions of revenue in the past few years since it’s legalization. The only shot to end this arcane prohibition is if Mario’s son Governor Cuomo will legalize weed when he needs another desperate shot to resuscitate his re-election campaign.

Come October, it will already be too late for New York and even this country. Canada has already got a massive jump with their decision. Besides, Toronto is basically a nicer version of Manhattan, the air is cleaner up there and the stars are more visible, which is way cool to see while high. And this grounds of the city will continue to deteriorate amiss the luxury tower pestilence blocking the sun and sky.

If New York doesn’t legalize soon, there might be a stoner and consumer dollar exodus heading for the Great White North.

So lay off smokers de Faustio and legalize it already Andrew, you fucking hosers!

*this is not a promotion or shout out to the club, I think to commensurate with and reparations for the amount of people who got arrested for possessing and selling on the streets in the last few years since possession was decriminalized, this club should be raided and it’s proprietors and customers should get the same justice meted to them as have those victimized already by this unfair system


New Bad Days 52: Rumbles In The Bronx, Hell’s Kitchen And On The Beach In Coney Island; Wealthy Hipsters Display Their Sense Of Entitlement And Bigotry For Other Races And Trees; Bicyclist Robs Cellphones With Ease; Another Cab Driver Martyrs Himself For The App-Based Economy; K-2 Continues To Destroy The Minds Of It’s Abusers; Diner From Goodfellas Movie Gets Whacked With Flame And More And More Stabbings, Shootings, Gang Attacks And Larceny.

Be aware of your surroundings, visitors to this fun city that means all 5 billion of you annually according to yearly statistics. Crime in NYC hotels has gone up 20% in the past three years, compounded by the city’s contracting of a majority of major chain hotels to shelter thousands of homeless people and the hiring of lax private security firms.

And to go along with the overpopulation of humans in the 5 boroughs, the rat population has grown by 10%.



In Highbridge at Billy’s Bar across the street from Yankee Stadium and hours after a medal awarding ceremony honoring heroic firefighters, a huge brawl between fellow firefighters ignited by a racial slur spilled onto the streets. As cops tried to break up the melee, a fireman punched a cop and another one got in his car and attempted to run down someone.

After this melee went down in front of incredulous witnesses who wondered aloud why no one was being arrested and why some of the drunk brawling firemen were allowed to drive away in their cars, the engine company that initiated the riot went to Claremont where their rival station was located and proceeded to continue the brawl there and wound up getting their asses kicked. No one was arrested there either since the cops didn’t pursue them, even though they may have been DUI and cops weren’t deployed despite knowing about the brawl and a cop getting assaulted.

Also in Highbridge, at the a 13-year-old girl was shot in the leg from an errant bullet protecting her nephew in a playground when a man shot at another man recently paroled from prison.

Again in Highbridge, three men standing on a corner were shot at in a drive-by around one in the morning.

In Mott Haven, a 73-year-old man was stabbed to death in his apartment after he won 10 grand on a lottery ticket.

In Allerton, a 10-year-old girl was mugged of her cellphone as she was calling her mother by a man who followed to her home then ripped the phone from her hand and smacked her in the face and shoved her down to the ground, kicked her in the face and broke her glasses.

In Belmont, a man sporadically shot into a courtyard in the middle of a memorial and killed a man and wounded a woman.

Also in Belmont, a man set his girlfriend and himself on fire in her apartment in a murder-suicide after she broke up with him.

Again in Belmont, a fire in an apartment building killed a man and injured two others was a result of arson.

In Fordham Manor, a poor 72-year-old collecting cans to survive living in this unaffordable fucking city was attacked by a man who knocked her down and tried to rape her.

Also in Fordham Manor, a man yanked a woman’s cellphone out of her hand and tried to steal her wallet on the D train then fled when the train arrived at the Fordham Road Station.

In West Farms, a fight among gangs of people in front of an apartment building escalated into a shootout, killing a 17-year-old girl who got shot in the back in the crossfire.

In Soundview, at the Bronx River Houses, a woman killed her baby son by slamming him against the wall in a drug stupor and didn’t call an ambulance because she didn’t want to get locked up. The woman previously had 3 other kids taken away from her from child services.

In Gun Hill Houses, a gang chased a 14-year-old boy to the Bronx River Parkeway and stabbed him multiple times in the chest when they caught him.

In Fordham Heights, 18 men were arrested for running a drug operation and selling fentanyl laced heroin referencing the outstanding T.V. show Breaking Bad. One brand was even named after Walter White’s demonic alter ego Heisenberg.

In Claremont, a 14-year-old boy slashed a 16-year-old boy in the shoulder when he exited a middle school.

In Van Nest, a man was shot at in his car by an acquaintance of the man he was arguing with then crashed into several vehicles trying to drive away from the crime scene and died.

In Highbridge, a man was found dead in his apartment from being stabbed three times.

In Eastchester, four teenagers tried to board a bus for free and ganged up on and assaulted the driver who tried to get rid of them.

In Throggs Neck at the Throggs Neck Houses, a NYCHA employee punched another employee during an argument.

In Morris Park, two dog handlers lost control of the pitbulls they were walking that wound up biting four girls and a woman.

In Mott Haven, a mosque was shot at with a bb gun.


In Bushwick, a man who got kicked out of a trendy hip night spot went into a tantrum cursing out and slinging racial slurs at a bouncer and the man filming him and then tried to call the cops to arrest the bouncer during his tirade and even tried to instigate a physical fight with him. The man works for a real estate agency called MySpace NYC that deals with slumlords, baits and switches on customers and rents apartments at exorbitant rates

This vile, racist, hipster invader bag of dicks and shit could only get away with this because he is, as well as his company, an agent and tool of forced gentrification, swallowing neighborhoods and displacing working poor and middle class citizen. Or to put it more aptly by a commentor on Reddit: “Back in the day this p.o.s. would have been picking up his teeth from the floor or in a coma in some hospital!!! Where the fuck did bushwick go!!! ”

Also in Bushwick at the Mrytle Ave./Broadway Station, two men catatonic from smoking K-2 were found glazed-eyed and lying prone. One on the tracks with his legs draping on and under the third rail and nearly trying to squeeze through a crevice on the tracks overlooking the street below and another on the platform.

Again in Bushwick, a man was shot in the chest on a street corner then died.

And again in Bushwick, a man died from overdosing on K-2.

And again in Bushwick, a man was shot to death on a street corner shortly after midnight.

In Coney Island, four separate fights on the beach that spread into a rumble on the landmark boardwalk leads to one teenager getting stabbed in the back and chest and another man slashed in the face.

In Flatlands, a professional cab driver committed suicide by hanging himself in his home resulting from being unable to earn a living, save money and afford to live in his overpriced grossly marketed borough from the over-saturation of and the city’s continuing indifference to regulate app-based car services. This is the sixth cab driver to kill himself since the public suicide of Doug Schifter in front the entrance of City Hall.

In Borough Park, a drunk ass private garbage truck driver plowed into 8 parked cars and a tree at 5:20 a.m then tried to leave the scene of his destruction and battled with and tried to flee from the cops as they tried to detain him. He is now free on bail.

In Gowanus, a hipster doofus chef of some reknown butchered by breaking the branches off and then deliberately poisoned a tree that he felt was blocking his solar panels from the sun.

In Bed-Stuy, a restaurant got plowed by a car that jumped the curb and crashed into it, injuring 2 patrons. The driver left the vehicle behind and walked away.

Also in Bed-Stuy, an inebriated man drove his car into a parking lot and crashed into two parked vehicles, injuring four people and smashed another car when he tried to get away by plowing through a fence.

Again in Bed-Stuy, two men mugged another man for his cellphone.

In Canarsie, a man carrying 2 canisters of gasoline attempted to burn down a three-story house he used to live in at 2 a.m.

Also in Canarsie, a mother was killed and her son got injured when a car veered off the road from a three car crash in an intersection nearby.

Again in Canarsie, an off-duty cop punched his girlfriend in the face while she was boarding a cab.

In Gowanus, a man riding his bike on the sidewalk sneaked up behind a woman to grab her ass and sped off.

In Brownsville, a drug den raided by the NYPD was found to be possessing guns and a massive stash of baggies of K2 labeled with cartoon characters, which included the brand Scooby Snax that was discovered to be behind the overdoses of over 80 people that were hospitalized a few weeks ago.

Also in Brownsville, two men impersonating police officers grabbed a 58-year-old man in front of his house then threw him into a van and zip-tied him. The perps were confronted by a man and a teenage boy who let them inside the house thinking they were cops, and then hit the clubbed the man on the head and proceeded to burglarize the place, robbing $7,000, sneakers and cellphones

Again in Brownsville, an off-duty cop got arrested for strangling his girlfriend.

And again in Brownsville, a man got shot in the back and leg while he was entering his apartment building.

In Crown Heights at the Utica Ave. Station, a man hitting on a woman got into a fight with her boyfriend and bit his lip off during the brawl and ran away.

In Prospect Park at the station of the same name, a man who was yelling homophobic slurs and threats punched a train conductor in the head as the Q train was leaving the station.

In East New York at the Gateway Plaza, a man punched a woman in the face then back up into her with his car in the parking lot after a date at Red Lobster.

In Prospect Heights, a man attempted to steal a stroller with a 2-year-old boy from his parents. This is the 5th child kidnapping attempt in broad daylight by various skels in a month in Brooklyn.

In Bay Ridge, a grinning creep sidled into the front door of an apartment building then stole various tools from the basement.

In Greenpoint, an off-duty cop assaulted a man and was found in possession of a unlicensed gun.

In Boerum Hill at the Atlantic Avenue/Barclays Center Station, a 6-year-old girl fell on the tracks after her arm got caught in a train door that closed on her and dragged her on the platform.

In Flatbush, a mother and her son were killed in a fire in their apartment that spread when the son was trying to move a portable air conditioner that malfunctioned and went ablaze but the fire it left behind already spread out.

Also in Flatbush, a man was shot to death and another man was slashed during an argument in someone’s apartment.

Again in Flatbush, a woman was found dead from an apparent suicide in her apartment with a plastic bag affixed to her head and her hands cuffed.

In Midwood, a man committed suicide in his apartment by slashing his throat.

In Mill Basin, a man died after being rescued drowning by in the water by a dock.

In DUMB(o), a dead man was found hanging on the 10th floor of a commercial building.

In Vinegar Hill at Commodore Barry Park, a dead man’s body was found in the playground

In Boerum Hill, a gym teacher strangled two students during a play fight that went wrong.

In Dyker Heights, two cars crashed into each other at an intersection, causing one to jump the curb and crash into a store.

In Sunset Park, a 73-year-old man had his chain broken when a skel tried to snatch it from his neck.

In Williamsburg, a gunfight on a street corner between three men lead to one dying from a gunshot wound in the head, and two others wounded from shots in the back and guts.

Also in Williamsburg, a man sneaked up behind a man walking and talking on his phone and beat him up, knocked him down and stole his cellphone and ran to the subway.

Again in Williamsburg, an off-duty cop pulled a knife on another man after they both had an argument on the BQE.

And again in Williamsburg, a man held up a smoothie shop and robbed it of $300 with a pipe that the workers thought was a gun.

And again in Williamsburg, a man held up a bank with a note and the teller obliged him with cash.

And again in Williamsburg, a man who wears his vile ideological beliefs on his face with tattoos drove into a food delivery guy on his electronic motorized bicycle (a motorcycle).

In Fort Greene, a man fighting with his wife during a domestic dispute threw a bottle at her but missed and hit his 4-year-old son in the head.

In Gravesend, a man robbed another man of his cellphone and cash after he dined and hung out with him in a restaurant.

Also in Gravesend, a man grabbed a commuter’s junk on the D train.

In Dyker Heights, a man broke into a unlocked van and stole $400

In Kensington at the Ditmars Ave. Station, a man pummeled a 69-year-old man in the face on the F train and threw him off when it arrived at the station.

Also in Kensington, a man stalked then assaulted an 81-year-old man as he entered his apartment building.

In Bensonhurst, an off duty EMT worker threatened to stab another EMT worker with a spoon if he took up space in his bed. (S&M spooning?)

And somewhere in Brooklyn on some subway train, two women got into an argument over a seat. As a woman went ballistic on another woman, accusing her of stealing it from her daughter, then started cursing her out as she told her kid to push her off and then proceeded to shove her herself and then spat on her. With a closer look, it looks like the alleged victim tried to squeeze herself into the seat cramming the two little girls to the side, which probably would have set any mother off.


In Jamaica, a man got shot in a nite club and then tried to drive himself to the nearest hospital but wound up crashing his car and died.

In Sunnyside, a man was found dead in a hotel room with his throat slashed.

In Cambria Heights, a man was shot 3 times at point blank range and killed as he sat in his van.

In Queens Village, a man was jumped by two men as he exited his car and got shot in the face.

Also in Queens Village, an off-duty cop pulled a gun on his girlfriend and threatened to kill her.

In Jamaica Estates, a man who runs a HVAC business poured liquid mercury into air conditioners of a home to poison people who complained about his lousy service.

In Flushing, an abandoned house went on fire leading to injuries of two men squatting inside and 10 firefighters trying to put it out. It was set by man associated with the MS-13 gang.

Also in Flushing, two men invaded a room being rented by a man from Chicago and held him up at knifepoint and robbed $30,000 from him after they forced him to strip.

Again in Flushing, a man got caught by the cops and arrested when he poorly stashed a gun under a car’s wheel.

Photo via Twitter/@NYPD109Pct

And again in Flushing, three men ditched a nite club without paying their $120 bill and mercilessly beat up an employee who tried to stop them by kicking and punching him.

And again in Flushing, a 14-year-old boy was sucker punched in the face by a man as he was walking up the stairs exiting the Main St. Station.

In Long Island City, a man rooming with two other men was caught robbing the apartment and then slashed them with a knife when they tried to hold him down for the cops to show up.

In Ozone Park, two men followed then stabbed another man multiple times on the street following an argument between them.

Also in Ozone Park on the A train stopping at the 104th St. Station, a man wanted for jerking off on the train in front of two other women while obscuring his lascivious deed with a backpack was caught yanking his crank in front of 19 year-old woman.

In Corona, three men held up a man at gunpoint in his car and robbed his backpack containing a payroll of $80,000. The trio is also wanted in two similar robberies in Harlem and Flushing.

Also in Corona, a woman’s poodle was murdered by a neighbor’s two pit bulls.

Again in Corona, a man flipped out in a grocery store when he threw a suitcase at a clerk when his debit card was declined when he tried to buy a beverage.

And again in Corona, as well as North Corona, Jackson Heights and Elmhurst, a man has broken into and burglarized 13 homes making off with $100,000 in cash and merchandise.

The 13 locations hit in the burglary pattern. (Map via Google Maps)

In Jackson Heights, a man was attacked and beaten down by two men while they yelled homophobic slurs at him and a transgender woman was stabbed by a man following a gay pride parade.

Also in Jackson Heights at the 74th Ave./Roosevelt Ave. Station, a 20-year-old man and a 16-year-old boy jumped a man on the underground train platform and barrelled him with punches and kicks, breaking his jaw.

Again in Jackson Heights at the 74th Ave/Roosevelt Ave. Station, a man grabbed a woman’s butt and reached under her shirt on the platform as the train arrived, then grabbed her ass again when they boarded the E train.

And again in Jackson Heights, a rivet crashed through a window of a man’s business office from transit infrastructure renovations on the elevated train tracks.

In Maspeth, a diner featured in the greatest non-fiction mob movie of all time “Goodfellas” burned to the ground in a massive fire around 5 p.m.. The diner, which still was in business, decided to close that day, which incidentally is reminiscent of the scene when Jimmy, Tommy and Henry burned down the Bamboo Lounge. Only now it’s city government determining what businesses and landmarks stands and goes.

It also eerily gives the impression that there could possibly be another young man running corrupted errands and paying dues in his aspirations to become a gangster.

Also in Maspeth, a man broke into a nail salon and robbed it of $2,000.

In Lefrak City, a mentally disturbed man punched a cop in the face during his arrest.

In Middle Village, a man held up two banks in a span of thirty minutes, only able to get a paltry amount from the second bank he robbed.

In Ridgewood, a man carjacked two vehicles at gunpoint in three days. First with 3 other men, the second by himself.

Also in Ridgewood, a woman was held up at knifepoint and robbed of her purse by a man who she trusted to find her car and went along with him to his house to charge her phone.

In Briarwood, a man approached a 12-year-old girl on the sidewalk and gave her a dollar then grabbed her breasts when she let the perverted weirdo hug her.

In Bayside, three men drove up to a house on one motorcycle (!!!) and broke the front door window with a hammer then held up two workers inside at gunpoint and robbed them of $1,000 and a cellphone.


Also in Bayside, a man broke into a nail salon and an ice cream parlor, stealing a total of $3,750 by destroying an ATM and a cash register and unplugging the freezers.

In Floral Park, a car crash caused an ambulette to flip over, injuring 2 people.

In Forest Hills, a man tried to rob a bank but left when the teller took too long to get the money.

Also in Forest Hills on the E train, Showtime went awry when a dancer kicked a commuter in the leg, then punched him in the face and ran away with his dance partner.

In Rosedale, a man once arrested for police impersonation and made bail for it was caught with possessing a handgun, a shotgun, 370 bullet cartridges and police i.d.’s and a kevlar vest from the FBI during a drug investigation.

In Astoria, a man wearing only his briefs was found and rescued from the East River just before the current was about to take him towards the machinery of a power plant. Below is a dramatization of what could have resulted.

Also in Astoria, four men attacked and beat up a man and robbed a woman’s cellphone inside a pizzeria after a dispute with them.

In Kew Gardens, an idiot brought a fake grenade into the Queens County Courthouse.

In Bellerose, a fire broke out in a home, killing an 82-year-old woman.

In Far Rockaway, a woman burned to death inside her apartment.

In Jamaica, a woman died in a fire in her house surrounded and subsumed by all her hoarded belongings.

In Rikers Island, the woman who killed two toddlers with her car when she ran a red light in Park Slope was beaten up by a fellow inmate in the cafeteria.



In the Upper East and West Sides, a man stole cellphones off the hands of seven people while riding his bicycle. To all those shitheads who are inducing society to conduct consumer and financial transactions and the worst fucking transit system in the universe attempting to phase out metrocards to pay to ride using cellphones, you better fucking reconsider this method.

In Chinatown, a driver for an app-based service told two drunk women he picked up in Gowanus to leave his car because they were being a nuisance by making out in the back seat, playing their cellphones loud and one of them putting her feet by the driver’s seat. But all anyone knows about this incident is the driver’s inappropriate reaction and bias and not the women’s obnoxious behavior, sense of entitlement and their exploitation of a feminist rights and sexual identity politics movement.

In Times Square at the station of the same name, a man punched a conductor in the face while the train was moving, which was the sixth assault on transit workers in the last month which includes an L train conductor and 2 others also getting punched, a 4 train conductor getting spat on and called a racial slur when he announced the train was going local and a maintenance worker forced to take leave after being berated by commuter.

Also in Times Square at the Port Authority Terminal, a man living in his car parked on the fifth level was caught and arrested in possession of two guns, hollow-point bullets and a machete.

In Downtown Manhattan, a man wanted for hold-up robberies of GameStop stores got arrested after he held up a jewelry store at knifepoint and robbed it of $13,000 following to other holdups in a mattress store and a vitamin store.

In Turtle Bay, a man attempted to dance with a woman in a douche bar, angering her boyfriend who whipped out a knife and stabbed him in the gut and proceeded to attack and slash four of his friends he was with.

In Washington Square Park, a Samaritan who witnessing a fight between two men got assaulted by one of them with a tarp full of lug nuts.


In Greenwich Village, three men were shot at inside a hookah bar after an argument between two men who bumped into each other.

In Kips Bay, a man was beaten and stabbed to death in his sleep by a homeless man he gave aid to, inside his room at a group home.

Also in Kips Bay, ten teenage boys living in the ACS center by Bellevue Hospital ganged up and brutally beat down a man for his cell phone

In Tribeca, a woman yelled a racial slur then bashed a woman with a metal suitcase to her face who was just passing by her.

In Midtown, a popular rapper was shot at as he exited a swank hotel at 5 a.m.

Also in Midtown, two people committed suicide, one man who jumped from the 16th floor of a luxury residential building and a woman who leapt from the 17th floor of a hotel.

In the East Village, a vendor trying to stop two men from stealing his flowers got savagely beaten down to the ground by them, leaving him with a broken nose.

Also in the East Village, a man stalked a woman to her apartment building and grabbed her from behind inside the hallway and stole her purse.

Again in the East Village, a man with a cane snatched a wallet from a customer in a cafe then ran away.

And again in the East Village, a street art photo exhibit installation got heavily tagged with less aesthetically pleasing graffiti.

In Harlem, a brawl broke out in a funeral home that spilled out into the street, leading to the arrests of two people.

Also in Harlem, a man got shot to death on the street after an argument with his killer.

Again in Harlem, two men were falsely accused by NYPD detectives for a shooting incident as they proceeded to search them by throwing one to the ground and another against a scaffolding pole in a vain though fascistic illegal search for a gun in full view of passerby and with cellphone cameras rolling. The men were then cuffed and taken to the station house and threatened with being tased for “talking too much”.

In Hudson Heights, two men shot a bodega worker in the stomach in a hold up gone wrong.

In Hamilton Heights, a dead decomposing body of a dead man was found under a tree at Riverside Park.

In the Financial District, a man impersonating a cop threatened to kill another man after being cordial with him.

In Chelsea, a man talking to a woman on the street was hit by a car driven by a man with a suspended license and wound up in a coma.

Also in Chelsea, a man threatened an employee at a chain donut shop and robbed him of $500.

Again in Chelsea, a woman caught shoplifting in a department store got away when she threatened the guard with a hypodermic needle.

In Hell’s Kitchen, 15 kids wielding baseball bats started an old fashioned rumble that escalated into hundreds of students from two high schools fighting on the street.

Also in Hell’s Kitchen, a man killed himself as he collided into van with his dirtbike.

In Downtown Manhattan, a naked lady was running around with a stick and bashing it on any car she saw.

In East Harlem, a cop was struck by a car when she stepped into the street on the side of a van illegally parked in the bus lane.

In the Upper East Side, a homeless man barricaded himself inside a rental van while it was idling and obstructing traffic, giving witnesses the impression that it was an attempt to set off a bomb.

In the Upper West Side, a man hit his girlfriend with a hammer then set her on fire following an argument inside her apartment.

Also in the Upper West Side at the 72nd Street Station, an elderly serial groper grinded his wrinkled genitals up against a 27-year-old woman as the 1 train arrived.

Again in the Upper West Side, a hospitality executive renting a room for over 2 grand from Airbnb was greeted by a rat who crawled on him in bed

In Union Square, a man and woman broke into a pizzeria and robbed it of $10,000 from a safe. The restaurant was burglarized twice before by the suspected duo.

In Gramercy Park, three teenage boys approached a man feigning to ask for the time ambushed him from behind and knocked him out and robbed his belongings after severely beating and choking him

Also in Gramercy Park, a man assaulted a chain drug store employee who tried to stop him from stealing deodorant.

In Stuyvesant Town, a man is leaving various kinds of rotting food in front of apartment doors.

On the Manhattan Bridge, a man riding his bike killed himself when he hit a support beam even though he wore a helmet.

In Grand Central Station, a stupid rat trying to run up the up escalator got cavalierly kicked by a commuter.

At the Columbus Circle Station on the A train, a big fat cop brought his Segway on the train and left immediately when commuters looked at him with combined befuddlement and disgust.

(welcome back, gothamishit)

Staten Island

In New Brighton, a man drove up to a house with people hanging out in front and shot at them.

In South Beach, a man was found dead floating in water by the shore.

In Mariners Harbor, shots were fired in front of a playground and a man shot at a house.

In Bulls Head, a man and a woman held up a hardware store at knifepoint.

In New Springfield, a five-alarm fire that was ignited by a child playing with a lighter engulfed two houses leading to injuries to twenty firemen. One of the homes belonged to a fire marshal.

Also in New Springfield, a man broke into a teacher’s car an hour before sunrise and stole her handbag.

In West Brighton, a man that was shot on a street corner was caught possessing bags of crack and a loaded gun.

Also in West Brighton, a man was hit by a flatbed trailer attached to a pick-up truck as it kept driving and ignored the yelling of witnesses.

In Stapleton, a man was killed crossing the street by a drunk driver who tried to speed off but was stopped by a relative who punched through the window and then at the driver’s face.

In St. George, a man squatting inside an apartment building set it on fire with a candle that spread to neighboring buildings and initially tried to put it out with his dick.

Blazing At Tiffany’s: BMW Goes On Fire On 57th Street And 5th Avenue


New York, N.Y.

A BMW went on fire on the corner of famed luxury department store Tiffany’s.


The Beemer’s hood had to be sawed off for the FDNY to extinguish the fire.






This incident occurred during rush hour just a few steps away from The Second Supreme Leader Of The World Donald John Trump’s flagship building, which made it quite surprising that the street was near accessible for passerby and lookie-loos, ugh, I mean eyewitnesses.

Something like a fancy $50,000 car smoldering less than 10 feet away from a high security area like the President’s ersatz billion dollar building would normally warrant a severe lock down. People working in buildings across from the expensive mini-inferno were still able to leave and commute instead of taking the precaution for ordering them to remain inside. But since it was a small fire and there were no news vans around at the time, the situation was quickly doused.

But considering the significance and the area, theories must be addressed. Like was this a terrorist attack. Was this a decoy for another terrorist attack (actually cross that one out, nothing in the news tonight covered anything that blew up, except the stressed out heart of the Trump Administration’s Economic Adviser). Some Deep State machination to provide a distraction or maybe fabricated terrorist attack by Trump’s Tower to manipulate the masses to support a war effort. Or maybe it was a botched bomb attempt to damage the pathetic and horrendous street art attempt on the wall of the legendary tony department store…



Hopefully, the professionals in televised and digital journalism will have more virtually legitimate and informative answers.



Donor Owned Mayor de Blasio Owes Money To His Lawyers Who Barely Had To Work To Get Him Off And Wants To Stick His Constituency With The Bill And The City Council Unanimously Voted That The Genitals And Genitalia You Were Born With Is Optional Mayor And Doofus Speaker, what a fucking city we got.

New York, N.Y.

Some unique, as in batshit, legislating is going and went down in City Hall along with the serious matter of making property taxes fair and equitable or whatever for the boroughs homeowners.

The first is Mayor de Blasio’s hubristic proposal/bland demand for City Council to write a bill to fund his bill of $300,000 to his law firm Kramer, Levin, et al. for defending his case that got dismissed after Preet Bharara got fired by Figurehead Donald John Trump and his lucky fat asshead skated by with just a pathetic admonishment by State A.G. Dancin’ Cy Vance for breaking the spirit of the law covering de Faustio’s not at all latent criminal activity using his mayoralty to dole favors and civic services for donor cash.

Let’s get this straight, this mayor, this idiot, wants city council to set up a legal defense fund just for him. And this is coming after he allocated 2.1 million dollars of public funding last year to take care of his hefty bills for his spiritual corruption. What Bad Bill is suggesting will set an atrocious precedent for future elected hacks like him to continue to circumvent campaign laws to influence voters and further nurture the powers of corporations that already have a stranglehold influence on policies and government.

Here is something de Faustio should consider instead of this crass request. He should sell his two houses in Park Slope. To go along with the money he clearly saved paying less taxes on them than citizens who live in less niche areas and pay more, he can surely get a cool 3-4 million for them being that they’re located in the over-rated over-marketed borough of Brooklyn.

He could also get a part-time job, maybe work the morning shift at a Starbucks near Gracie Mansion, which should cover the time he leaves there to do his 2 borough 7 hour morning commute and workout. Or maybe, since he is basically panhandling already, go to the nearest 99 cent store and get a sharpie marker and some cardboard lying outside a dumpster then sit on a corner traffic light post on the weekend and solicit the profligate cash from sympathetic passerby. Suggestion: write that you need the cash to get on a bus going back to Boston.

So far, City Council has for the moment rebuffed this absurd beggary but with this predominantly fauxgressive bunch and their habitual sneaky methods for passing laws unbeknownst to their constituents, de Faustio just might get it. It all hinges on Speaker Corey Johnson, who was chosen by the Democrat Machine to be a supposed check and independent voice to monitor this mayor’s spending. But this Johnson seems to be more concerned with what doctors put on newborn infants birth certificates.

AMNY: NYC birth certificate gender options would include ‘X’ under new proposal for adults

New Yorkers who do not identify as either male or female may soon have the option to change their birth certificate to a third category.

Under a proposal announced by City Council Speaker Corey Johnson and Mayor Bill de Blasio, adults will have the option to change their given gender to “X.” The proposal would also remove a rule requiring a letter from a medical or mental health professional to change the gender on a birth certificate.

You don’t need a doctor to tell you who you are and you shouldn’t need a doctor to change your birth certificate to reflect your true self. This groundbreaking legislation will make New York birth certificates more inclusive for all and will send a powerful signal to the world that New York City government works for everyone,” Johnson said in a statement.

This may be the first recorded case of identity politics being used to deny each individuals identity. The stupidity of this law is beyond belief. When did birth certificates become a gay society cultural taboo?

So Corey, idiot, thinks that doctors shouldn’t determine what sex babies are? Will this mean that if the words “It’s a boy/girl” would be considered a slur and be subject to condemnation or a fine? How is X suppose to help? Especially being that the letter is used to mark the box of say, whether a baby is male or female.

There is absolutely no doubt that what people choose to be should not be oppressed, discriminated against or cast out of society, but this is ridiculous. And these are medical professionals determinations that’s being fucked with. You know, the same determinations that tell when a baby what term it’s in if women or teenage girls choose to get an abortion.

These two proposals are the types of bullshit that’s being discussed by our elected and appointed “representative leaders”. Who continue to waste taxpayer dollars and precious time as the city’s poorest and middle classes still don’t get the essential civic services they need and are due to them even still. Who are more concerned with avoiding their personal responsibility for their knowing unethical lapses and what’s between everyone’s legs and how it shouldn’t define them.






4645 Extraoficialmente Muertos En Puerto Rico Resultantes De Las Secuelas Del Huracán María (4645 Unofficially Dead In Puerto Rico Resulting From The Aftermath Of Hurricane Maria)

Hurricane Maria, a relentless, apocalyptic storm that engulfed and mostly demolished the U.S. commonwealth state Puerto Rico, killed 4,645 citizens in a Harvard report published in The New England Journal Of Medicine. Making this the deadliest hurricane in 100 years and the biggest amount of fatalities on a populace since 9/11/01.

This report comes almost a year after Figurehead Trump arrived to the island and marveled at the reported death toll of 16 casualties at the time and remarked that the devastation was not that bad at all compared to Hurricane Katrina’s mortality rates in New Orleans and then tossed beautiful absorbent paper towels in a room full of desperate, star-struck citizens.

This report comes as the government of Puerto Rico, run by the himbo Governor Ricardo Rosselló, closed off data requests to the public and researchers back in December 2017 and has been sitting on their asses awaiting for a commissioned study contracted to George Washington University to complete as the official death toll for the last year remained at 64, giving the impression that maybe they do have the updated amount and they whited out the first and fourth digits. Governor Rossello is on the case though, as he expressed by conveying superficial rage in an interview on CNN.

Figurehead Trump, along with his accomplice and Vice President Mike Pence, did not utter one letter or bat an eye when they showed up at a FEMA meeting about the devastating Harvard study, which on the bright side at least they did not attempt to refute it. On the predictable side, they were nauseatingly crass and soulless, showing seething contempt of not only bringing up the fact of the tragedy but of the people they don’t think they represent and are responsible for their security. As is expected of those two bastards.

Pero el mayor bastardo es Governor Ricko Suave, whose duplicity is way out of bounds in the obvious delay and cloaking of the true mortality totals which cover the day the hurricane hit and her societal and environmental impact, mostly derived from the months long blackout of the commonwealth’s electrical grid and the total lack of potable  water.

But the charming governor has more pressing necessities and niceties to concern himself with. Like repressing his constituents desire and civil right to protest his and the un-elected fiscal boards austerity measures by deploying 3 times the amount of cops for every citizen and also equipping his personal taxpayer funded stormtroopers with the best armor and gas cans to thwart such attempts against social activism and justice. And also on making sure to not ward off any venture capital interests to the island state with such gloomy stats so young wealthy pioneers with bitcoins can arrive unimpeded and remake/remodel Puerto Rico into a resort utopia these soulless asshole big spenders for partying all year round. And why the hell not turn the commonwealth into a spanking new tax dodging haven for current and future miserly oligarchs to hoard their massive wealth.

Think this is some dystopian fiction, think again. What Governor Suave’ along with his hack Democrat allies in America are enabling is The Shock Doctrine on steroids and plutonium, as villages and towns throughout Puerto Rico are still undergoing months without or intermittent amount of electricity as the cities are doing just fine and have experienced a revitalization as hundreds of thousands of citizens are still struggling while their government fiddles and finds myriad ways, from incompetence to indifference, to deny the suffering masses their rights to their livelihoods and general and civic services.

And also their right to find out if a relative or friend has died from the ramifications of Maria 2017. But Governor Suave’ thinks he can get by on his Menudo-member boyish good looks and elite friends and acquaintances in business, high finance, and the Democrat Machine. It’s easy to see why he needs to hide behind armored police.

Governor Suave’ only has to worry about the next hurricane that will hit his state. But the way things are surfacing now that the death toll has been professionally tabulated and exposed, the next storm’s name might just be Revolution.