Jeffrey Epstein’s Perfect Execution


New York City, New York

It’s been a few weeks since the, umm, reported suicide of Jeffrey Epstein, multi-millionaire financial advisor and money manager, child predator and trafficker. Conveniently for Epstein, he was detained in the Manhattan Correctional Center after his first “suicide attempt” was “stopped” by a cop who slaughtered four people. The MCC is one this city’s wretched facilities, rife with horrid conditions and atypical lousy food. But what made his fatal jailbreak easy was the fact that the jail’s personnel was understaffed, guarded by C.O.’s working overtime during the wee hours and notably a person assigned to fill in to guard who wasn’t even an official C.O., (which for some reason there hasn’t been much or any inquiry why he was assigned that position and what his job history was). At the time when he snuffed it, he was actually put back on suicide watch.

It was easy to figure out that Epstein was not going to learn anything from his sabbatical incarceration away from society, after getting a light sentence from his prior child rape charges because he was “of intelligence” according to Trump’s former Labor Secretary Acosta. But high society easily forgives and embraces multi-millionaires, whether doing some light embezzlement or treason and in this case child trafficking. Which the pedophile Epstein continued to fiendishly dabble in from his release a decade ago notably at his vast and eerie Upper East Side mansion a block from Central Park which got immediately raided during his overdue arrest.


Overdue being that District Attorney Cy Vance lowered Epstein’s sexual offender level status, as the NYPD didn’t bother to do checkups on his creepy mansion or even bring Epstein downtown to register as a level 3 offender despite judge’s orders, as the statutory rape addict continued to engage and arrange sexual trysts involving hundreds of young girls with the aid of his platonic girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell. (The relationship these two have is almost like an evil version of Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes)

To think that if Cy Vance wasn’t such an oligarch ass kisser and the NYPD were as aggressive to keep tabs on an internationally known sexual predator as they were to stop and frisk Black and Hispanic people and combing colleges for Muslims, they could have got a warrant and broke down the door to Epstein’s townhouse and arrested him 8 years ago. And they probably could have collared Prince Andrew during a blow job with a 14-year-old girl.



Who knows if Epstein would have wound up if he was caught back then. Probably dead too under strange and suspicious circumstance and coincidence also. He had a lot of powerful and pretty much immoral friends and associates that didn’t want their evil sexual piccadillos or how they acquired their finances exposed back then either.

But for now, what we got according to corporate news, has been determined a suicide and everyone is supposed to believe and accept it. Even though for some reason in this age of infinite and omniscient surveillance, there is no video footage of Epstein’s determined suicide. Even though Epstein plead not guilty to all charges and he paid some of the inmates commissary for protection. Even though the autopsy found a bone in his neck that was broken which is usually caused by strangulation. And the sheets given to inmates are not even strong enough to squeeze the cream out of a twinkie.

Lo and behold, video footage was available, but it turned out to be damaged or unreadable or some bullshit. I guess that’s what you have to expect in a run down, debilitated, vermin infested, understaffed correctional facility.

Which incidentally is the perfect place to execute the perfect crime on the most wanted man in the world, by those violated and those that did the violating. Although not as gruesome but still barbaric, Epstein’s suicide is akin to the butchering of Washington Post reporter Adnan Kashoggi by 15 men associated with Prince Mohammed Bin Salman in Saudi Arabia’s embassy in Turkey. Kashoggi was another man who knew too much, but Epstein knew tons more. He even was close with MBS too. There’s just too much to know and it’s way above my pay grade, which is zero.

But all I can offer about this convoluted FUBAR coverup is this:

That all questions and theories on Epstein’s “suicide” are moot. It’s common and horribly accepted knowledge that the wealthiest people in the world and the politicians who are obeisant to them don’t want anything to ruin their heavily guarded hedonistic lifestyles and swollen bank accounts.





Affixing A Hole

051The star of the show.

New York is not only famous for being the biggest city in the world (by default, reputation and hype) but it’s also infamous for it’s potholes which manifest from time to time and also notorious for the tardiness to repair them. But decades riding (and at few occasions driving) in this big city of dreams, I don’t think I have ever seen the creative and quarter-assed way Mayor de Blasio’s Department of Transportation has displayed to remediate or even fix these blights on the roads and pavement. Especially with the usage of traffic cones.

Take the header photo of the subway grating. Clearly the hatch door is missing. Either it fell off or some enterprising derelict managed to rip it off and sold it for scrap. Or maybe by a MTA low paid contractor worker.

Despite how hideous and hazardous that looks, it doesn’t remotely compare to what the DOT is enabling or even ordering to temporarily remedy new road hazards on the streets this summer. Like this patch job on Central Park West.



Looks like something went wrong on this road here, which looks like it was milled and repaved not long ago.


Looking at this, I had thoughts of what else could be down there. Although I am partially glad that it the city affixed this hole, even if a rabbit won’t be able to make it to brunch with the Mad Hatter. Anyone could have rode over it and got a nasty flat or even ruined their wheel. Or maybe fall into another dimension or time. Other concerns I had was some sort of entity (or entities) that would rise from the depths of the netherworld like those shadows in “Ghost” or even worse a hipster version of Chutulu.


Take a look at that depth, that’s about the size of the standard foot and a half high cone that are frequently used. Usually the safety standard would entail that inverted cone and a few others to surround that hole and obviously for a work order to close the street to repair it. But now the D.O.T., which is ever so busy with other things like shutting down streets for film shoots and helping arrange fun festival weekends barring driving on weekends, is now just looking at these spooky craters and putting a big orange cork in it.

After placing a message on the city’s social media account, the void did get remedied as it got tagged for eventual repair.


They also stuffed it with what what looks like powdered sugar covered wet paper towels.


After this I thought for sure the city won’t be stupid enough to be this lazy and careless when the next hole appears. But I stood corrected and beside myself when I saw this asphalt buttplug again in Hell’s Kitchen.


This one was even worse. Fortunately this hole was actually not much of a danger to cars being that it was pass the crosswalk and away from the lane, but one could easily fall into the abyss walking, skating or riding on it. Especially when your staring at your phone screen like a stupid junkie.

To be fair, the DOT are still applying these orange cones properly for the majority of unsightly road hazards, when the holes are too big to use them as buttplugs.


Well, sometimes.



But the de Blasio’s D.O.T.’s shiftlessness is not limited to the lame efforts and solutions to warn citizens of road hazards, it also applies his Department of Environmental Protection for our dilapidated water catch basins. Especially the ones in the perpetually ignored neighborhoods in Southeast Queens.

Like this one here. This fucking wreck in South Richmond Hill has been like this for about a year. There’s suppose to be a big metal thing there on top. It’s a wonder how the city is able to lose parts like that and how mindblowing it is that they don’t immediately replace it.  Supposedly some homeless people or junkies find it (or pry it out themselves) and sell it for scrap too.



This gives the impression that the city contracted Fred Flintstone’s employer Slate Quarry to renovate it.

Then there’s this abomination:


I want to mock this with another cartoon analogy but it’s just too repulsive. Fortunately, it probably will get repaired since it’s on a corner and it’s part of the citywide renovation to make them better for the handicapped.

And isn’t it nice of the de Blasio’s D.E.P. to provide a one legged girder along with a taped orange cone? It’s the equivalent of tying a string on your pinky to remember something.


It’s not the case for this cavernous basin though:541

It looks like the D.E.P. noticed this too while they were still around town. So they had a spare leg, girder and orange cone to remedy any resident’s worries.


Surely, this was encouraging that remediation was on the way. But as Staten Island rock heroes Anthrax used to say…NOT!



Unfuckingbeilievable and rigoddamndiculous. The D.E.P.’s saw fit to blacktop patch the hole and reinforce it with some discarded wood and just removed the leg from the fucking girder and left it there. Yeah, that looks durable, schmucks.

Who knows what 99 cent store inspired dinky fixes this city will to do our slowly crippling infrastructure. Because potholes don’t discriminate.

From Richmond Hill in Queens




To NoMad in Manhattan


Rest assured that these holes will get the standard safety cone buttplug treatment, as it’s now being applied to broken off parking sign poles like this one:



And citizens, if you see these holes, say something about them. The city’s social media accounts do respond fast. But if results aren’t manifesting fast enough, don’t be shy to be proactive and do it yourself. How hard can it be to shove something in a disturbing looking hole.

The de Blasio D.O.T. standard street apparatuses won’t be hard to find.






New Bad Days 65: NYPD Declares It’s Too Hot For Crime To Occur Then A Girl Gets Hit By A Stray Bullet And Cops Wind Up Getting Drenched; Gangbanger Shootout Mars Brownsville Block Party Despite Heavy Police Presence; Suckerpunches By Lunatics And Thugs Lead To Fatalities; A Man Walks On The Street Gushing Blood From Getting Slashed In A Barber Shop; Man Pulls A Gun On Cops During Arrest Of A Car Robbery Attempt; Invited Guest Burns Down House And Kills Three People; Two More Cops Commit Suicide; Three More Bike Riders Get Killed; More Pedestrians Are Getting Hit By Cars And Trucks; Shootings Are Up As Well As Reported Stabbings, Muggings, Gang Assaults, Subway Crime, Drunk And Reckless Driving, Robberies, Home Invasions, Car Jackings, Rapes, Gropings And Civilian Suicides.


During the worst heatwave of the summer, The NYPD sent a social media BULLETIN  announcing that it was too hot for criminal activity. This ill-advised P.S.A. to the city’s worst elements of society was followed with humiliating and tragic consequences.

A few hours after this idiotic missive was sent by N.Y.’s finest, a man was running down the street firing a gun and hit an 11-year-old boy with a stray bullet in East Harlem.

Then in other areas in Brooklyn and Manhattan during the sweltering heat, there seem to be a deranged bucket challenge going on. Men were throwing buckets of water on themselves then on random people. And when cops showed up, the incorrigible men converged on them and threw buckets of water on them. Even in the middle of arresting a man, with one asshole throwing a bucket at a cops head. One woman who confronted cops in a cruiser got hit with gallons of water as she was trying to complain about the incorrigible men. All the cops did was stay inside with the windows rolled up. Another video showed cops getting doused by a gang waiting for them on a street corner while they were on a break drinking coffee. Shockingly, instead of arresting them or calling for backup, all the cops walked away drenched. All the derelict mayor de Blasio did was to chime in that these soakings were unacceptable in an obligatory condemnation tweet on his social media account.

This shocking display of anarchic behavior managed to predictably garner outrage and outlandish hyperbole from police union heads on how the cops are themselves handcuffed from fighting crime.

In contrast to the criticism of these cops on the street by their own reps and peers, there were progressive and liberal people, notably the reputed social justice warriors, making wrongful equivalencies about the stupid and illegal behavior of the water throwers by citing police shootings, brutality and wrongful arrests and searches of Black and Hispanic citizens. And that it was only harmless water. Despite those pressing issues, they had nothing to do with this. There was no civil rights demands being displayed here and it was surely not some act of reparation for all those abuses previously listed that the NYPD dished out. These were cops just responding to calls and in one case in the middle of an arrest and these people were acting like total dicks. You have to have respect for authority, cops are working class people too. (Who also have to strive to afford to live in this city while protecting it).

As for the NYPD response and total lack of it, it seems they took their PSA about the weather being to oppressive to commit crimes too literally and the most obnoxious men from Brownsville and Harlem took advantage of it. Although they did catch up to the water tossers and eventually arrested them.

Unfortunately, the NYPD’s insouciance for these incidents took a turn for the worse the following week…


In Brownsville, an annual block party event at a city park was disrupted when a gunman was shooting into a crowd and hit 12 people, killing one man.  According to initial reports, a fight broke out between drunken revelers before the gunfire took place and two shooters were involved including the dead victim, who served time for gun possession and was released back in January. He was flashing a piece earlier in the day even though he was still on parole. 30 bullets were found in the playground and a gun in a bag was found stashed behind a tree.

The Old Timers Day block party is a homecoming event and is attended by thousands of citizens every year and also by local elected officials and politicians. The festival also had vendors. Hundreds of cops were deployed that evening for supervision and protection. So where were they when this shooting went down? A police sergeant alleged in an email that there was an order not to enforce action on unruly crowds, which was swiftly denied by the NYPD spokesman. But there’s got to be a reason why two gangbangers felt secure enough to settle their scores with each other by brazenly trying to cap each other at a highly attended and supposedly protected event.

Well if there was a reason not to quell the crowd going by an allegation of a frustrated anonymous cop, it’s led to a fugitive. The shooter(s)/killer(s) are still out there on the streets. It’s sort of ironic that the NYPD pulled out all the stops to hunt down a bunch of obnoxious jerks (with priors) that threw buckets of water and water buckets at them, but they couldn’t find a mass shooter(s) even though there was an army of cops just minutes away from the playground. The latter is what should be really unnerving to the citizenry and especially for all cops.

Also in Brownsville at the Broadway Junction Station, two men engaged in an argument escalated as they started brawling with each other on the mezzanine between the J and L trains, then one slashed his opponent four times, hitting him in the neck, chin and arm.

Again in Brownsville at the Sutter Ave. Station, two women who were arguing with each other on the 3 train got off together and got physical and brawled with each other. As one of the women blasted her foe with pepper spray and then the other woman took out a knife and stabbed her three times, causing her to bleed out and her wounds eventually killing her

In Prospect-Lefferts Gardens, an argument between a man in his 20’s and a 66-year-old man inside a deli escalated when the younger man suckerpunched the elder man from behind, causing him to fall on the pavement as the younger man jumped on top of him and kept pummeling him, causing his victim to wind up in a coma. The attacker, who was dwelling at a homeless shelter, was involved in another fight at that same deli three months earlier and justified his brutality by claiming the older man started the fight by staring at him. The victim died 2 weeks later.

Also in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens, a man was stabbed to death and found lying on the sidewalk.

Again in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens, a man held up a bodega with a kitchen knife and struggled with the cashier as he tried to keep his shirt over his face. The hapless thief got away with $40.

In Bed-Stuy, a 13-year-old girl was shot in the shoulder by a stray bullet at a playground while sitting on a bench. The gunman was released on bail only a few months ago on an assault charge.

Also in Bed-Stuy, a man was stabbed three times on the street and died hours later from his wounds.

Again in Bed-Stuy, two sixteen-year-old boys beat down a man during a drug deal and robbed his wallet and phone after one of them inquired if their victim was gay.

In Sunset Park, a man stabbed a woman and two other people inside her house and casually walked out and drove off in his car. The woman stumbled outside, collapsed on the sidewalk and died.

Also in Sunset Park, a woman riding her bike got run over by a approaching tractor trailer when she swerved into it’s lane to after getting hit by a car door being opened in her path.

Again in Sunset Park, a man went bonkers inside a sneaker store and slashed a man.

And again in Sunset Park, a man held up a bank with a note and made off with $491.

And again in Sunset Park, a man easily robbed a wallet and a cellphone digging into the pockets of a man sleeping soundly on a stoop. The second such robbery in a month.

And again in Sunset Park, a man broke into an apartment and robbed it of $1,200.

Also in Crown Heights, a cop responding to fireworks going off on the street was hit in the head by a liquor bottle that was thrown from a crowd.

Again in Crown Heights, a man walked up to a parked car and shot at two men who were sitting inside, hitting the passenger in the head and the driver in the shoulder, the driver then crashed his car into another car as he tried to drive to a hospital.

And again in Crown Heights, an off-duty school safety officer beat up his girlfriend at her apartment.

And again in Crown Heights, a man was shot in the arm and ass in a drive-by shooting by Prospect Park.

In East New York, a man shot at four people on the street, hitting a man in the chest, another man in the back, another man in the neck and a woman in the shoulder.

Also in East New York, a man walked into a police station armed with a knife and demanded the cops inside to shoot him. A cop tazes him instead. The man was disappointed as he told them he was too chicken to kill himself.

Again in East New York, a drunk driver killed his passenger in his minivan while he was speeding down the street then crashed into a backhoe.

In Cypress Hills, a man was jumped by four men and beaten down as he was leaving a restaurant, one of his attackers smacked him on the head with a frying pan as his accomplices rifled through his pockets and stole his cellphone.

Also in Cypress Hills, a livery cab driver was shot to death and robbed of his vehicle in a  carjacking.

In Carroll Gardens, a twelve-year-old boy was assaulted by a thirteen-year-old boy at Carroll Park who hit him with a piece of metal. Following the attack, the bully threatened his victim on social media by sending him pictures of him holding a bullet in his teeth and other pics of a display of hollow point rounds captioned with threats to his life. The bully is the son of a NYPD lieutenant and has not been charged or even disciplined for his psychotic behavior.

In Mill Basin, a man stuck up a man with a knife and proceeded to beat him down to the ground then robbed his cell phone and $130.

In Prospect Park, three people in their 20’s hanging out in the park at 1:30 in the morning were confronted by two men standing over them and held them up at gunpoint. The men then robbed them of their wallets and cellphones. Somehow these millenial marks were under the impression that they were in the #SafestBigCity in America.

Also in Prospect Park, a man went nutso and jumped in the lake and wouldn’t get out when cops arrived.

In Williamsburg, a man was gruesomely killed after he lost control speeding on his motorcycle and fell off, then was a hit by an approaching vehicle as he was lying down on the road, which severed off three of his limbs.

Also in Williamsburg, a private garbage truck blew a red light and swerved around a street sweeper, causing the driver to lose control of his vehicle as it flipped over and crushed a row of parked cars. That’ll show those car culture bastards for using bike lane space as storage.

In Canarsie, police responding to a domestic violence emergency call caught a man jumping out of a back window of a house. A cop’s gun discharged a shot during the arrest as the man resisted.

Also in Canarsie, a man was shot and killed inside his house.

Again in Canarsie, an off-duty paramedic crashed into an unmarked police car while driving drunk on the Belt Parkway.

In Bushwick, a woman stepping outside to throw out her garbage got stalked by a man who followed her inside her apartment building then threw her to the floor and tried to drag her to the basement to rape her. She was able to fight him off and witnesses were able to scare the deviant to flee.

In Gowanus, a man verbally harassing women in a supermarket parking lot attacked one of them by stabbing her hand as she was going into her car.

In Brighton Beach, a man got suckerpunched by another man on the boardwalk and died the next day.

In East Flatbush,  a woman had her car stolen as she left the keys in the ignition and the motor running while she went shopping. She then lied about having a child in the car so cops could find the vehicle faster.

In Bensonhurst, a construction worker fell through the roof while working at a school under repair.

In Prospect Heights, a cop pointed his gun at citizens who were witnessing and filming on cellphones during an arrest while he had his knee on the suspects head who was detained for robbery and knife possession after he threw a wad of cash into the air. Commissioner O’Neill defended the collar despite how unpretty it was and how similar the method of arrest look to Eric Garner’s.

In Boerum Hill, an undercover cop shot himself in the groin while on-duty in an elevator at the Wyckoff Gardens houses. What the fuck is wrong with #deBlasiosNYPD?

Also in Boerum Hill at the Bergen St Station, a man ripped off 15 feet of copper cable from the trackbed and got arrested for trying to sell it to a scrap dealer in Gowanus. The thief was previously busted a week before for stealing 60 feet of copper from a tunnel near the Dekalb Ave Station.

Again in Boerum Hill, an argument in a bar between a bouncer and a man and woman escalated into a brawl. When an off duty C.O. tried to break up the fight, the man stabbed the C.O. twice in his chest and torso and also stabbed the bouncer.

In Park Slope, a man riding a Citibike on a two-way street crashed into a car while making a u-turn (guess de Blasio is not the only dope from Park Slope). Ensuing bike riders viewed the wrecked piece of shit and continued rolling through the steady red light.

Also in Park Slope,  a woman called a YMCA and made a bomb threat targeting Mayor de Blasio and his love of black people. It turned out she called the wrong place where the derelict mayor spends three hours of city time every morning.

Again in Park Slope, a man broke into a car and robbed two credit cards and proceeded to spend $2,000 with it.

And again in Park Slope, a man riding his bike got his phone slapped out of his hands by an MTA worker multiple times during an argument over getting cut off.

In South Slope, a man broke into a bodega and robbed $1,000 worth of cigarette packs. So if you need some loosies, go to South Slope.

Also in South Slope, a man grabbed a woman’s ass up her skirt and ran away.

In Downtown Brooklyn, a woman got caught smuggling a loaded gun at the Brooklyn Criminal Court building as she was meeting up with a man in central booking awaiting arraignment for a drug charge.

Also in Downtown Brooklyn at the Court St. Station, a man wanted for repeatedly spanking his monkey on the trains was caught by cops jerking off on the platform and tried to run away but got tazed and arrested.

Again in Downtown Brooklyn at the Borough Hall Station, a man spat on a conductor while she was helping a handicapped woman in a wheelchair get on the 3 train.

And again in Downtown Brooklyn at the DeKalb Ave. Station, a metal drip pan fell from the ceiling and hit a man on the platform.

In Kensington at the Fort Hamilton Station, a woman accosted a 64-year-old man on the F train and demanded to give her his phone, then she and two other men beat him up and robbed his phone and also his tool bag and $320. The suspect was also involved in a robbery on the G train when she sprayed a caustic fluid in a woman’s face and robbed her purse with the help of another man.

Also in Kensington, a woman got killed crossing the street when she got hit by car making a right turn. The driver then crashed into another vehicle after hitting her.

In Dyker Heights, a man broke into a pharmacy and robbed a bunch over-the-counter drugs like a drugstore cowboy.

In Greenpoint, a man got hit and killed by a box truck while riding his bike beside it. NYPD determined that the rider was facing the truck when it him. Which brings forth the image of the victim doing a 360 turn for no reason at all or he had the capability of rotating his head like Regan in the Exorcist.

In Brooklyn Heights, a man broke into a car with a wrench and robbed a backpack with $40,000 inside belonging to a construction business owner.

In Homecrest, a man robbed over $4,000 left in a bag inside a seafood delivery truck that was left open.

In Bay Ridge, a woman napping in her car was molested by a man who reached through her window and grabbed her breast.

In Coney Island, a leg and other body parts were found near a jetty on the beach.

Also in Coney Island, a man was found dead and bleeding from a stab wound on the ground behind a Home Depot.

In Midwood, a construction worker got stuck on his crane at a development site as it tipped over from too much weight added to it.

In Fort Greene at the Fulton St. Station, a woman attempted suicide by jumping on the tracks. As the G train arrived, commuters alerted the conductor and he stopped the train, the he got out helped the woman back on the platform.

In Marine Park, a driver crashed his car into a school bus.

And somewhere in #BrooklynLand, following a bust of a major gang in the borough, four boys filmed themeselves playing with guns, shooting bullets from rooftops and from apartment windows and showing them off and loading the clips on the subway


In the Lower East Side, a man arguing with another man in a barber shop escalated when he left and went back there, locked the door and attacked the man while he was still on the chair and slashed his foe in his neck with a knife. The man then went outside pacing up and down the block with his shirt ripped and bleeding profusely as his attacker got walloped with a fire extinguisher by a patron so he wouldn’t escape.

Also in the Lower East Side, a person shot two NYCHA workers with a BB gun at the Gowanus Houses.

Again in the Lower East Side, a riot broke out in the middle of a throng of fools that were waiting on line to buy limited edition ugly ass sneakers from an integrated promotion by a sugary ice-tea manufacturer and a sneaker corporation after they closed up shop because they ran out of the product they were hyping. Two girls fighting with each other over the kicks led to one of them getting hit with a bottle. Technically these corporations and promoters should be charged for inciting riots for encouraging massive crowded lines to occur while not having enough product to sell.

And again in the Lower East Side at the Delancy St. Station, a homeless man killed himself when he stepped on the third rail while walking in the tunnel.

And again in the Lower East Side, a man got robbed of $2,500 by two men dressed as NYCHA worker uniforms that he let inside his apartment at the Lillian Ward Houses.

Traffic fatalities are up 22 percent this year

In Midtown, a taxi driver veered his car onto the sidewalk and crashed into a building scaffold.

Also in Midtown, a 79-year-old man robbed jewels from the same wholesaler office three times.

Again in Midtown, a man grabbed a woman’s ass as she was waiting on line in a restaurant.

And again in Midtown, a man with his luggage and bags loitering in a bank stabbed a woman in the neck with a hypodermic needle by the ATM machines.

And again in Midtown, three teenage girls accosted a woman on the street and hit her with an umbrella. Then they followed her into a gourmet deli and one of them threw a banana at her and then tried to rip off her purse.

And again in Midtown, a man committed suicide by jumping off a rooftop bar of a hotel after he ordered a drink.

And again in Midtown at the 50th St. Station, an opera singer punched a woman in the chest as she was about to pay her fare.

And again in Midtown, a man got killed crossing the street when he got hit by a car that backed up fast from a double parked space.

In Harlem, a man approached a man hanging with his friends, pushed him against a wall and shot him in his gut.

Also in Harlem, two men sitting on a bench by Central Park got shot at by a man riding a bike, hitting both men in the torso.

Again in Harlem, a 65-year-old man crossing the street was struck by a livery cab driver driving in the wrong direction and was instantly killed. The 71-year-old driver also smashed into another car.

And again in Harlem, a man burned two rainbow flags hanging in front of a restaurant a month after he did it the first time.

And again in Harlem, a man brawling with two men on the street wound up getting stabbed to death.

And again in Harlem at the 125th St. Station, a man grabbed an 8-year-old boy’s butt on the 4 train.

And again in Harlem, a children summer camp run by NYCHA and held at the Jackie Robinson Houses had to be cancelled because the ceiling was dripping with maggots from a bunch of dead rats above it.

And again in Harlem, a woman agitated about being transferred to a co-ed homeless shelter even though she was a domestic violence victim was met with three cops who told her to go with them. Then she got punched in the eye by a cop when she refused.

In East Harlem, a man held up a food delivery man at gunpoint and robbed his e-motored cycle.

Also in East Harlem, two men arguing and fighting in the lobby of an apartment building escalated when one of them pulled out a gun and shot the other man in the chest. The shooter also hit a 67-year-old woman in the leg who was walking by.

Again in East Harlem, a man was shot to death from point blank range while sitting in his SUV.

And again in East Harlem, a off-duty MTA worker got arrested for flashing a gun inside an apartment building.

And again in East Harlem, a man shot two men by the Wagner Houses, killing one and wounding the other.

And again in East Harlem, at the 125th St. Station, a man molested a 14-year-old girl by grabbing her ass on the platform.

And again in East Harlem, a man wearing only underwear shot another man in the face inside and apartment building.

And again in East Harlem, an 11-year-old boy got shot in the leg from a stray bullet by a man running on the street aimlessly firing his gun.

In Hudson Yards, a dead man’s body was found lying on the train tracks with a shovel next to him. Guess the killer just didn’t have the motivation or stamina to bury his victim.

In Times Square at the 42d St. Station, a man committed suicide by jumping in front of the arriving 3 train.

Also in Times Square, a woman got slashed in the face by a man who she was arguing with.

In Herald Square at the PATH station, a 65-year-old man with his arm in a sling got suckerpunched and got beaten down by a man as another man and a woman searched him for cash but found nothing.

In the Upper West Side, a 74-year-old man trying to eat in a restaurant was being vexed by two men who were kicking his chair. Then they ganged up on him by punching him in the face and bashing a chair over his body after the victim told them to stop bothering him.

Also in the Upper West Side, a man and a woman were hit by speeding car as the driver ran the light while they were crossing the street. The man died from his injuries days later and the woman who hit him was involved in a hit-and-run back in May.

In Tribeca at the Franklin Street Station, a man was confronted by a man at knifepoint after he walked down the steps, and after he gave him a few bucks and his cellphones, the mugger still slashed him in the throat.

Also in Tribeca, a taxi cab spontaneously combusted while parked by the curb. No movie or TV shoots were being scheduled at the time.

In Battery Park City, a man walked up to a 73-year-old woman on the street and demanded coitus with her. When the woman sharply told him off, he attacked her and punched her face multiple times and tried to rape her, then stole her purse and ran away.

Also in Battery Park City, a group of ticket hawkers selling fake ferry rides to the Statue of Liberty (when it just goes by it, not to it) were loitering in front of and obstructing pedestrian traffic at the Bowling Green Station were confronted by a woman who asked them to move and was treated with verbal profanities and sexist insults. The woman, who was elected to serve by her district in the State Assembly, approached two cops that were standing nearby doing nothing and remained mute as the hustlers mocked her by telling her that the cops won’t do shit and Mayor de Blasio lets them do what they want. One hustler even flash a PBA card that belonged to his mother.

Again in Battery Park City, a man had his $20,000 watch stolen from him by a woman he met at a niteclub that he took home to his apartment.

In Hell’s Kitchen, a cab driver lost control of his car after being rear ended by another one on the avenue, causing it to jump on the sidewalk and crash into a restaurant, injuring eight people.

Also in Hell’s Kitchen, a man got mugged in his apartment when he mistakenly permitted a stranger to get buzzed in. He got punched in the face when he opened the door and had his cellphone robbed.

Again in Hell’s Kitchen at the Intrepid Museum, a cashier was able to pilfer over $350,000 for 3 years working the registers by reprinting older tickets while pocketing the entrance fees.

And again in Hell’s Kitchen, six men attacked a man while riding a citibike, knocking him then beating him down to the ground then stole his ear sticks, debit card and the citibike. The same gang then knocked off another man off his bike and snatched his satchel and cellphone.

And again in Hell’s Kitchen, a woman was found dead inside the bedroom of her apartment.

In Gramercy Park, a man chased another man on the street and knocked him down from behind, pummeled him on the pavement and robbed him of his phone and $200.

In Washington Heights, a trash bin was set on fire which spread to a vehicle parked next to it.

In Columbus Circle, a man slashed another man in the eye with a Swiss Army knife following an argument.

In the East Village, a cop ran into a man riding a citibike with his patrol SUV because he claimed that the rider ran red lights and refused to stop on his command over the loudspeaker, which witnesses claimed no one heard. The cop then reminded the rider that he only plowed him to ensure his safety.

Also in the East Village, a man shoplifted a keyboard, mouse and a kitchen knife from a department store and threatened other people as he tried to run out. When he got confronted by a store worker, he took his knife and threatened him with it and escaped.

Again in the East Village, a man stalked a woman into her apartment building, then jumped her from behind as she entered her home and threw her to the floor and tried to smother her with a plastic bag. The fiend ran away when her roomate shut her bedroom door.

And again in the East Village, a boom crane broke in half, shredding air conditioners off the side of a building as it fell at the Riis Houses. This NYCHA building is one of the few that are getting renovated with FEMA funding derived from Hurricane Sandy.

And again in the East Village, a man was murdered from getting shot in the face in the back of an apartment building at the Lillian Wald Houses.

In Penn Station, a man hogging three seats on the A train with plastic bags and a rolling luggage yelled at a man who wanted to sit down. When the straphanger grabbed the luggage to hold on to, the derelict stabbed him on his side four times. The derelict got off at Fulton St. as his victim followed him and alerted a cop he saw at the station. The psycho bum walked all the way to Chinatown until cops recognized him and gave chase. A Samaritin caught him running and got stabbed but was able to stop him for the cops to take him down. Tazing him as he continued to resist.

Also in Penn Station, a man slashed another man in the face after he yelled at him.

In Downtown Manhattan, a man drove his car into concrete barricades in front of the Federal Plaza building and claimed he had a bomb.

Also in Downtown Manhattan, a man spat on a conductor while he was guiding commuters to board the 6 train.

In Soho, a cab driver plowed into a man riding a bike.

Also in Soho at the Houston/Lafayette Station, a homeless man snatched a cellphone from another man’s hand on the F train and got off, then he pushed the man he robbed onto the trackbed. As the lunatic paced up and down the platform, a group of Samaritans kept following and surrounding him so he wouldn’t escape. As the bum tried to flee up the stairs, two men knocked him down and held him.

In Kips Bay, a man committed suicide by shooting himself on the rooftop of an apartment building.

In the West Village, a promotion for a early morning alcohol driven boat ride went haywire when people showed up already loaded and were fighting with security guards so they had to keep the booze cruise anchored. Which wound up pissing off nearly a hundred people who paid 30 bucks to get on board.

A man recently paroled for robbing banks in fancy designer clothes he clearly couldn’t afford, returned to the city and held up and robbed seven more banks, making off with over $10,000.

In Inwood, a brake stop piece weighing 15 pounds fell off the elevated tracks and landed on top of a moving vehicle.

In Union Square, a man that was masturbating in front of a woman on the R train, pursued her as she got off and chased and grabbed her on the stairs and sexually assaulted her.

A woman on the B train lit her extensions on fire.

In the Upper East Side, a man was found dead in a tunnel near the 96th St. Station, he was electrocuted by the third rail. This was announced by the conductor as a smoke condition.

Also in the Upper East Side at the 86th Street Station, a fire ignited under a car of the 4 train, causing acrid smoke to spread and for commuters to evacuate.

Again in the Upper East side at the 86th St. Station, a cop hurt his head when he didn’t see the 6 train coming. Jesus tap dancing christ.


In Highbridge, two cops caught a man trying to break into a parked car by smashing the window. When the cops tried to apprehend him, the man kept pleading that his was his car and left his keys inside of it. Then he demanded that they respect his rights all the while psychically struggling with them. As he continued to resist, he threatened to shoot the cops with a 9mm gun he possessed, leading one of the cops to fire his gun in self-defense. The cop then placed the man’s weapon on the car hood and cuffed him. Turned out the skell was recently released from prison 3 months earlier after serving a three decade stint for three armed robberies with a shotgun and was on parole when he decided to steal this car.

Also in Highbridge, two men broke into a woman’s apartment by climbing up the fire escape, and robbed it of over $1,100 and jewelry.

Again in Highbridge, a fire broke out on the fourth floor of an apartment building, injuring 5 residents and 6 firefighters and leaving 15 families homeless. The Bronx is burning again.

In Mount Hope look who’s back breaking the law again while driving like a psycho, the asshole who took advantage of the kindness of people because he was being held in prison for a year because of the exorbitant cost of his bail for a hold up he claimed he wasn’t involved with. He and a goon he was driving with rammed a minivan on the Cross Bronx Expressway that was being driven by a woman with two girls as passengers, and then pursued them as the woman tried to evade them. The two men then boxed them on the street. As the woman was trying to drive away, the goon punched her window and the one time bail reform hero threw a bottle at the vehicle and broke a window.

After the recidivist reckless driver promised to give himself up to the police, he never showed up and now his whereabouts are unknown. Inevitably he will resurface in a car that doesn’t belong to him.

In Morris Heights, a gang of eight men and one woman held up two other men at knifepoint and robbed them of a watch, cellphone, a bookbag and 30 bucks. The man with the knife was riding a Citibike. The rideshare has not expanded to the Bronx yet.

In Kingsbridge, a 64-year-old superintendent confronted a group of men who were loitering outside of his building. Then they collectively and savagely beat him down on the ground and attacked his son.

Also in Kingsbridge, two men riding on a scooter on the sidewalk snatched the chains off of two men in two incidents.

Again in Kingsbridge, a man committed suicide by hanging himself with a belt from a fence in Bailey Park.

In Kingsbridge Heights, two one-year-old twin girls died after being left in the car by their father for hours who forgot they were still there while he was at work.

In Fordham Manor, an idiot was filming himself on social media firing an automatic weapon into the air to impress a woman who was with him.

In Grand Concourse, a man was shot to death on the street after a drug deal went south inside an apartment building.

Also in Grand Concourse, a man and his father confronted a group of men who were blowing up fireworks near their car. Two men jumped the father and his son got stabbed in the back with a broken bottle trying to defend him.

Again in Grand Concourse, a man riding a children’s bike got hit by a bus as it was turning right, leaving him with a head injury.

In Fordham Heights, a boy repeatedly punched a 55-year-old man in the face on a city bus, knocking out eight of his teeth.

Also in Fordham Heights, a woman was found dead and decomposing inside her apartment. She died from getting stabbed twice in the neck.

In Claremont Village, a deli worker got into an argument with a customer, then stabbed him in the arm and ran out of the store.

Also in Claremont Village, a one-month old baby was beaten to death inside an apartment.

In Morrisania, a man murdered his grandmother in her apartment by strangling her with a video game cord.

Also in Morrisania, a man got shot in the stomach after he got approached by two men in front of an apartment building.

Again in Morrisania, a man was shot in the leg on a street corner.

In Mount Eden, a brawl between two men in a bodega spilled out into the street. A man who arrived and tried to break up the fight wound up getting punched by one of them, causing him to fall on his head on the sidewalk. He later died from his injury.

Also in Mount Eden, a woman walking on the sidewalk was confronted by a man who walked beside her and started to harass her. When she refused his advances, he punched her in the face and robbed her cellphone.

Again in Mount Eden, a man sprayed caustic fluid in a bus driver’s face.

In Woodlawn, a man berated two cops on the 4 train with threats and vulgarities while invalidally claiming free expression and justifying it was self-defense to them.

Also in Woodlawn at Van Cordtlant Park, a man punched a horse in the face that was being rode by Parks Police Cop who was monitoring/interrupting a barbeque with other mounted officers. Just like Mongo from Blazing Saddles.

In Allerton at the Pelham Parkway Station, a crazy woman started yelling racist remarks at another woman and then stole her construction helmet and wailed on her head with it.

In Van Nest, a man beat down and knocked eight teeth out of a man inside a city bus.

In Belmont, a man was found dead in the basement of a house from a shot to his chest.

In University Heights, a man was found dead in his bedroom from a shot to his head.

Also in University Heights, a woman was found dead and decomposing inside her bedroom from multiple stab wounds.

In Crotona Park, a man was found dead from a shot in the torso in the basement of a house.

In Olinville, a man was found dead with multiple stab wounds in a stairwell in his apartment building.

In Foxhurst, a man took a baseball bat and destroyed surveillance cameras inside an apartment building.

In the South Bronx, a man got killed on the job at a recycling shop when an excavating bucket he was welding on a bulldozer broke off and fell on him, crushing his body.

Again in the South Bronx at the 149th St. Station, a man grabbed a woman on the platform and pulled down her panties.

In Mott Haven, a woman was found dead on the first floor in a homeless shelter.

In Concourse Village, a man dressed like a construction worker broke into an office door at a chain pharmacy and held up a store employee at knifepoint, shoved him to the floor and robbed $3,000.

Also in Concourse Village, four kids got injured after they got hit by a car that jumped the sidewalk by a hit-and-run driver.

Again in Concourse Village, a man playing dominoes got shot in the back when he got hit by a stray bullet coming from two men shooting their guns at each other on the street in broad daylight.

In Soundview, a man robbed a cab driver of his backpack when he drop him off at his destination. When the cab driver went to chase him to get it back, he left the car in reverse and it ran over and killed him. The thief has been charged with murder.

Also in Soundview, a man was shot twice in the leg and head in front of his house.

In Throggs Neck, a man sexually assaulted three teenage girls and two women in a span of four months.

In Wakefield, a man threw a folding chair at a bus driver, hitting him on the head.

Also in Wakefield, a man was stabbed to death on the street four blocks from his house.

Again in Wakefield, a drunk driver drove into a railyard and on the tracks while following the instructions given to him by his GPS.

In Parkchester, a man shot another man from behind as he was walking, hitting him in the back of the head.

In Olinville at the Gun Hill Rd Station, a man got stabbed in the neck by a woman during a fight with another man on the staircase.

In Hunts Point, two men were shot at in front of a house as three men fled the scene.

In White Plains, a man broke into the visiting teams locker room at an arena football game and stole $3,000 while the their were still playing the game. $1,000 was also stolen in the dance team’s locker room in a prior burglary.

In Fordham Manor, a man wanted for robbing jewelry off three women in Ridgewood for three months after he offered to clean it for them, swiped a $500 ring from a 94-year-old woman.

And a Bronx woman was convicted for various burglaries she committed when she would look up obitituries of people who died then would raid the deceased house and steal jewelry while the relatives were at their funerals.


In East Elmhurst, a man intentionally set a house on fire by dousing the kitchen with gasoline and igniting it by turning on the stove. A man, 6-year-old and himself got burned to death and a mother and her baby were in critical condition. The family offered the man to stay at their home because he was currently homeless, but he snapped and argued with them when they demanded he leave because they found out some things about him and felt that their kids weren’t safe with him around. It turned out that he was arrested for filing a false report on his ex-boyfriend about hiring four men to beat him down, which led to him being kicked out of an apartment in Fordham Heights. The mother died from her sustained injuries a month later.

In Long Island City at the 23rd St./Court Sq. Station, a man was nearly killed when a plywood wall collapsed on top of him from a tidalwave of rainwater from a recent storm pushed him across the platform and almost to the tracks as the G train. The shoddily built wall was placed there by a developer and his contracting construction firm for another hideous supertall glass luxury tower.

Also in Long Island City at the 45th Road Station, a man took his cellphone and took a picture of a woman’s crotch on the 7 train.

Again in Long Island City, a man stole a shuttle bus left unattended and drove it all the way to Kew Gardens.

And again in Long Island City, a man pleaded a woman to help him by claiming he fell off his bike and then he grabbed her breasts. When the woman got home and went to sleep, she awoke in the early morning hours and saw him standing over her, leading her to scream and the deviant to escape through the second floor window.

And again in Long Island City at the Queens Plaza Station, a man punched another man in the face on the R train.

In Floral Park, a Hindu priest was confronted by a man who yelled xenophobic remarks at him, then hit him over the head with an umbrella and repeatedly punched him.

In Jackson Heights, a man was shot in the head in the middle of the street.

Also in Jackson Heights at the Roosevelt Ave. Station, two men arguing with each other on the platform escalated when one of them threw a wrench at the other, but missed and hit and injured a 64-year-old woman sitting on a bench.

In Elmhurst, during a party being attended by off-duty correction officers, a woman punched two other women in the face outside a niteclub following an argument between them in a bathroom over a man.

Also in Elmhurst and Jackson Heights, a man burglarized six homes in broad daylight by going through the windows and pushing the air conditioners inside.

Again in Elmhurst, a fire engulfed the fifth floor of an apartment building, killing one man and injuring 4 other residents.

In Far Rockaway, a man grabbed a woman from behind as she was walking on the street and ripped off her clothes and tried to rape her, but she was able to fight back causing him to flee. Cops caught up to the deviant and arrested him.

In Jamaica, a dead man was found rotting and covered with maggots inside a junk hoarded and tacky painted and graffiti covered abandoned bus that he lived in.

Also in Jamaica, a man got beaten down and robbed of his cellphone by four men on a city bus.

Again in Jamaica, a 67-year-old man was killed inside a restaurant he worked at when he got caught on a malfunctioning dumbwaiter that dragged him up to the sidewalk. At 67, you should be able to retire and live in dignity instead of still working menial jobs to get by, but it’s fucking NYC.

And again in Jamaica, a man riding a motorized scooter was chased then hit by an unmarked police car and was beaten down by the cops as they were arresting him for traffic infractions and marijuana possession. Both offenses which are only supposed to be enforced with tickets.

In South Jamaica, a 76-year-old woman was hit by a stray bullet that blasted through her back windshield as she was sitting in her car. The shot emanated from a rumble in a parking lot where teenage boys were fighting with each other.

In Springfield Gardens, a man riding his bike home from a nearby store got shot to death on the street where he lived.

In South Ozone Park, a man attempted to murder a woman in her house but his gun got jammed and he ran away. He then shot at a man when he tried to rob his e-motored cycle in front of a restaurant in Richmond Hill and held up a man at gunpoint in Jamaica and robbed him of his cellphone and $7,000.

In Far Rockaway, a woman was hit by an ambulance as she was crossing the street.

In Glendale, three men jumped an 11-year-old boy riding his bike on the street and pushed him off it and stole it.

In Ridgewood, a man held up a bank with his hand in his shirt and robbed it of $430.

Come on!

Also in Ridgewood, a police car with two auxiliary cops inside was speeding down the avenue then whizzed through a red light even though a van was passing by with the green light. As the van nicked the patrol car, the driver lost control of the vehicle then hopped onto the sidewalk and hit a woman.

These bozos must have trained at the Lt. Frank Drebin Driving School.

The NYPD should give a contract to the John Houseman Driving School for Teens instead.

Also in Ridgewood, a man attempted to crawl into a woman’s apartment through her bedroom window at 5 in the morning.

In Astoria, a woman got shot in the face on the street by a hoodie cloaked man and survived it.

Also in Astoria, a woman got critically injured in a two car collision.

Again in Astoria, a man got into an argument inside a deli with a woman. When the owner/manager came out to confront him, the man hit him in the face with a power drill and knock some of his teeth out and ran away.

And again in Astoria, two men broke into three homes through the back windows and robbed one of them of $77,000 in jewelry.

And again in Astoria, a man got beat down to the ground by an app-food delivery guy who punched his face as his two friends kicked him after he refused his request to send his food to his door.

And again in Astoria, a man held up another man on the street at knifepoint and robbed his phone.

In Howard Beach, a man who arranged a date with a woman on a social media app got greeted by three men behind a building instead and ganged up on him, beat him down and forced him to drive to a bank and withdraw money for them. The victim gave them 300 bucks and they threw his phone in the trunk and split.

In Woodside, a man held up a 62-year-old man at gunpoint and robbed his cellphone, then shot him in his leg.

In St. Albans, a man stabbed another man to death on the block where he lived.

In Arverne, a construction manger checking up on a building development died when a wall collapsed on him.

Also in Arverne, a man got burned on his leg when the e-motored cycles charger engine exploded after he broke it open to avoid paying.

In Whitestone, an argument between two men inside a chain pharmacy escalated when of the men stabbed the other man in the shoulder.

In Flushing, a man hit a restaurant worker in the head with a teapot because his order was taking too long.

Also in Flushing, a man broke into a home just to jerk off in a ladies shoe.

Again in Flushing, a man was found dead inside a parked car by a race track.

And again in Flushing, a man walked into an adult day care center and robbed it of $1,500.

In Corona, a 72-year-old man got killed crossing the street when he got hit by a car.

Also in Corona, a traffic cop saved two people who were squatting inside a house that went on fire.

In North Corona, a man banged on the door of and barged into a 74-year-old woman’s apartment, hit her with a bottle and dragged her into the bedroom and fondled her.

In Ozone Park, a home was raided by ATF agents for explosives and firearms possession and alcohol and cigarette tampering. So the government sent the right people for this.

In Middle Village, a baby was found inside a car on a hot day turned out to be a doll. The second time that lame gag has been done in a month at the world’s borough. At least it wasn’t determined to have a time of death this time.

On the Triboro Bridge, three men were pulled over by an MTA officer after he spotted their car cutting 3 lanes of traffic. Then the driver hit the gas and headed towards a ramp going onto Randall’s Island then crashed into a wall. The men then lept over the railing onto the island ground were they wound up getting arrested for possession of pot and oxycodone.

In Bayside, two men broke into a house through a window and robbed $90,000 in cash and jewelry following a two month burglary spree where they broke into five other houses in broad daylight.

In Woodhaven, a man got hit by a car while he was riding his bike on the crosswalk.

Also in Woodhaven, a man got killed by a hit-and-run-driver while he was crossing the boulevard.

Again in Woodhaven, a man walked up to two traffic cops and sprayed bottled water on them.

In Ozone Park at the 80th Street Station, a man committed suicide by jumping in front of the arriving A train. Before he killed himself, he dropped his backpack on the platform and a few things fell out, causing a cop to panic as he yelled it was a bomb. This led the NYPD to send a bomb squad unit decked in full hurt locker gear to defuse it as everyone including cops in the area to duck and cover. Turned out it was an umbrella and a thermos. Idiots.

In Fresh Meadows, a man got killed while riding his motorcycle as an unlicensed drunk driver cut him off and crashed into him on the L.I.E.

In Kew Gardens Hills, a drunk driver crashed into a utility pole, knocking it down and other poles like dominoes.

In Little Neck, a man attempting to break into a house got nailed by the cops and was also found with a loaded gun.

In Queens Village, an 85-year-old woman attempting a u-turn in her SUV crashed into a tree then backed up into a tree trimming truck, causing it to tip over and fall to the sidewalk, leaving a man injured.

Staten Island

In Eltingville, a man on two occasions dropped his shorts and took a shit in front of the same house. He would then pull his shorts back up and turn around and admire his work. The homeowner attempts to file a complaint with her local police pct. turned out to be futile.

In West Brighton, a 17-year-old boy riding a bike with his friends got hit and killed by a tow truck after he ran the red light and stopped too late.

At the Staten Island Mall, two gangs of teenage and tween girls swarmed and beat down other girls in five separate incidents while filming the ultraviolence on their phones and posting it on social media.

In Clifton, an unlicensed driver got pulled over in his fancy luxury car by cops, then hit the gas and drove into a fence.

In Graniteville, a man trying to shoplift a can of very horrible malt liquor in a “gourmet market” got stopped by a worker who told him to put it back. Then the man put his fist to the workers face multiple times.

Also in Graniteville, a man got caught by cops with a loaded gun during a domestic dispute invesigation at his house.

In St. George, a man who rode the bus without paying was greeted by two transit officers when he got off. Then the farebeater refused to show I.D. and assaulted both of them and ran.

In New Springville, a man attempting to shoplift headphones from a department store got caught by a worker. Then the man took out a hammer and swang it at him and ran out.

In North Shore, a man was busted with 6 kilos of meth during a street shakedown.

In Richmondtown, a cop committed suicide by shooting himself at his home. He was recently promoted to sergeant.