Floating 4 million dollar lemons. (Incriminating photos by Douglas Healey/N.Y. Post)

New York, N.Y.

The long awaited, by the mayor and his real estate donors aka the Gentrification Industrial Complex not the commuting public, ferry service that debut this year suffered a breakdown as 5 boats consisting of the entire fleet were taken out of service for multiple leaks found on the hulls. Turns out the 4 million dollar boats could not truly handle the rough nasty salty waters of the Hudson and East Rivers and Jamaica Bay.

The timeliness of the mass grounding of the small fleet provided by the San Francisco-based company Hornblower came swiftly after the last days of an incredibly warm October and the first few weeks of November. Although with the amount of money, $325 million dollars, and promotional hype (21st century maritime technology!) spent for these vessels, they were highly expected to survive the winter months, in hopes to thwart criticism if they were able to handle the inclement weather and frigid temps of the approaching winter.

It turns out that it will not fulfill the haughty expectations of day Mayor de Blasio Faustio or even an steady alternative commute for the thousands of people, exacerbated by the recent kismet like ferry crashing into a sandbar caused by a hot shot driver that was heading for Rockaway Beach the day after the NY Post’s report.

The day mayor, with this third embarrassing disgrace of his programs and policies in a month, which includes the discovery of filthy conditions, bad staffing and distributing spoiled milk to kids in 2 of the 3-K schools and of course all the lying about NYCHA, gave his atypically duplicitous reaction to this transportation failure. In 3 steps, he denied any responsibility, then through his EDC toady chastised Hornblower for sending these shoddy lemons even though de Faustio rushed the order to get it running in early May, then obstinately claimed that the ferry service was successful regardless of the simultaneous breakdowns and obvious unstable and non-durable conditions and ability of the boats to handle the daily sojourns. Oh, it’s actually 4 steps because now the mayor belatedly has commissioned an investigation on what went wrong, which will probably cost the city another 200 grand since that seems to be going average price for being late to react to disasters or for projects the constituency has no interest in or wants.

But who cares anyway. At least there are more boats coming for commuters. And more importantly to the mayor and the legion of his developer donors, higher obscene market speculation of real estate where the ferry makes it’s stops, like in Astoria, the Rockaways, and predictably in the usual areas in Brooklyn including the working class dominant areas of Sunset Park and Bay Ridge.

This is where the city’s concerns and priorities are as the more easily accessible subways and buses get worse every fucking day. The bottom line will always take precedence over the needs of the citizens. No matter how stupid it is, as the NYC ferry certainly is, which is nothing more than a tool and toy for further gentrification. Unfortunately it’s here to stay because of the common worldwide knowledge of the cities shitty subway which the NYC ferry has easily supplanted because of a customer base of the glut of tourists, coastal tower residents and fed up regular subway commuters. And you can get shitfaced on them too since the ferries come equipped with bars with the finest craft brews and artisanal cocktails that the hipshits love to spend stupid money on so much. (Of course you can get drunk on the subway and buses, provided that you bring your own fifth of hooch)

But with this recent breakdown, it will certainly have the same fate and wind up with the same notoriety as the worst fucking transit system in the universe.

You can take that to the riverbank.