de Blasio’s NYPD Unleashes Surveillance Droid Dog In NYCHA Building

Kips Bay, Manhattan, New York

As if the citizens of New York City haven’t went through enough during this pandemic, especially now that we all don’t know when more vaccines will be coming and where COVID and it’s variants may be settling, and with more protests happening with recent national news making incidents of cops using excessive force, Mayor de Blasio’s NYPD has been finding the time to unleash  their brand new militaristic droid puppy, Digidog to the streets and in this case, public housing buildings.

And the people that witnessed this here at this Kips Bay NYCHA building reacted with awe and shock. And concerned folks on social media immediately conjured up a legendary episode of Black Mirror featuring a robot canine with extrajudicial homicidal tendencies.

And of course there were the usual exhortations of the NYPD wasting tax dollars on more militarization and surveillance as safety net programs and essential services for the poor continues to get shafted.

Mayor de Blasio, who is basically, no actually the boss of the NYPD, feigned ignorance when he was asked about this dystopian exhibition by his police forces and gave his atypical disingenuous response and let a little sly smug smirk slip in his promise to have a look at the video and get in touch with Commissioner Shea about it.

de Blasio’s incriminates himself here because he had plenty of time to catch this 2 minute video of the still unnamed Digidog trotting into and out of the NYCHA building, about 10 hours worth to be precise, plus the account that showed the video tagged his City Hall account.  And it wasn’t like he wasn’t on the twitter to not see it, because The Blaz (and probably one of his two dozen aides) is always quick to virtue signal something in the hopes of getting news attention.

But let’s not beat around the bush here, because while Commissioner Shea is in charge of running the biggest local police force in the nation and the world, The Blaz, being the notorious micro manager, is still the boss of NYC. It should be no doubt that he permitted the funding to buy this droid and gave the Commish and the Squad commanders the go ahead to use it. And this is the second time the mutt has been used for emergency calls, but the first time that it was actually brought inside a residential building.

When this incident got viral and then local corporate news attention (as well as national), a security consultant praised while feebly defended the NYPD’s handling of the robot and revealed some disturbing capabilities of the Digidog’s functions:

CBS News

Monday afternoon at 344 East 28th Street, cops responded to a man barricaded after a domestic dispute.

Sadly, it’s an all-too-common situation, but it drew attention.

It was one of the first times the public has seen the new NYPD digidog, bristling with cameras and microphones. It’s able to approach danger and feed back live pictures and sound.

This may be why Ms. Auciello tagged the Southern District Court of N.Y. account to see if de Blasio’s NYPD skirted some constitutional violations.

MSA Security consultant Justin Kelley used to command the Connecticut State SWAT team.

“It allows them to really put a plan together, to get eyes in there without putting a human body in there,” he told CBS2’s Tony Aiello. “Really gives you that real-time intel that is so critical to any scene like that.”

He believes technology such as digidog can save lives and money.

There’s gonna be instances where they’re gonna be able to determine that the person’s not in the residence, so a seven-hour standoff might be now 90 minutes. There’s savings there,”‘ he said.

According to this unwarranted surveillance monger, the digimutt will be a real game changer in situations where civilians are in danger and the potential of dangers to cops if the perps they are investigating are armed. Besides you’re not going to know if your 4th amendment constitutional rights are not being violated if the digidog cameras can peek and eavesdrops through your door. And it won’t be a big deal if it’s equipped with facial recognition technology when it stares you down with it’s camera eyes as it trots right by you. 

To quell all this speculation and justified paranoia, de Blasio’s NYPD made sure to stress that the digidog was not used during the investigation of the domestic dispute at the apartment and was only on standby. But why fucking bring it in the first place as well as the overdeployment for one guy who had no reported weapon? The answer might have been to see how it can walk a beat and recognize everything and everyone in it’s path. Like how it exited the NYCHA building and stared at everyone that was gawking at the city’s police surveillance state wonderdog.

This is only the beginning. For all we know, there might be more of these fucking droids coming down the pike thanks to President Biden’s stimulus funding and also with protests that are sure to come up during the summer and de Blasio and Shea would want to get more of these little buggers following demonstrators around and grabbing their features and logistics. It’s uncertain if the NYPD’s Dynomutt is going to do anything about the widespread crime  that is raging from gang warfare and attacks from  mentally ill people prone to violence wandering around on the streets.

Mostly it’s just another annoying distraction from the troubled recovery for all of us here in New York City, albeit one that will probably fundamentally change how we think about our liberties and the safety the NYPD thinks the citizenry should sacrifice them for.

Errant Horizons: The Violent And Vehement Blowback From The Well But Neoliberal Intended Rikers Island Shutdown

https://dailynews.news/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/20181004new-yorknyc-crimeny-metro-union-calls-end-horizon-center-20181004-story.html_.jpgThe tattered banner says it all.

The Four Boroughs, New York

It was just over a year ago, when retired judge Johnathon Lippman and his professional peers compiled a study citing the horrid conditions regarding criminal impunity among inmates and correction officers, human rights violations and the myriad violent conditions in the environment in Rikers Island to justify it’s shutdown. After incessant publicity and promotion by fauxgressive figures like Mayor de Blasio, former speaker Melissa Mark-Viverto and various tag-along liberal sops in city council; Governor Andy Cuomo signed into law to raise the age for getting charged as an adult for minor offenses and major crimes to 17 years old (to be raised to 18 in 2019) leading to transferring of over 90 young inmates to the Horizon Juvenile Center in the South Bronx on the first of October.

With such a rare humanitarian gesture from state government towards the prison population, what could possibly go wrong. Well, a day later and the first second when the kids went through the front door of Horizon, everything did.

In a grotesque result of what happens when the bleeding hearts of well-off liberals lead to brain hemorrages, all of the teenage males took their new found limited freedom and attacked all the corrections officers appointed to watch over them. Leading to twenty of the C.O’s getting hospitalized for injuries. The majority of the kids showed visible delight knowing that the guards were not equipped with pepper spray and handcuffs, because they were denied these defensive accessories according the newly signed law. Which certainly inspired the kids to throw desks around and break windows. One scamp even took a guards uniform shirt and wore it.The kids also utilized all the free unrestricted space to reassemble their gangs and reignite their street rivalries and brawl with each other.

As for the rationale behind the lack of gratitude shown towards being held in an optically better facility from where they came, it wasn’t like the kids didn’t warn them of what was going to go down:

While stationed at Rikers, the injured officer said the teen inmates taunted Corrections staff about what would happen once they were transferred to the Bronx facility and working unarmed.

“They said ‘just wait until we get to Horizon,’” said the injured officer, who was reassigned to the 90-inmate juvenile facility when the teens were moved.

This led the Corrections Officers Benevolent Association union leader, the benevolent Elias Muhammed, to rightfully imply I told you so:

“They aren’t turnstile jumpers, the open container crowd. These are gang-bangers. They are here for robbery, attempted murder and murder.”

The chaos barely even settled down as the kids kept being surly and uncooperative every day since the tranfer as 17 more C.O.’s and even two captains were attacked by the kids.

 

Calling the reactions to the anarchy that has broke loose at Horizon by the ones driving the Rikers Shutdown as haughtily tone-deaf is literally understating it. As the bruises and broken bones from these altercations were still fresh that the usual suspects that induced this stupid transference went into spinning dervish mode.

Beginning today, no one under 18 will go to Rikers Island,” tweeted Mayor de Blasio. “Kids will be treated like kids instead of adults. This is an historic moment for criminal justice reform and another step toward replacing Rikers Island with smaller, safer, more humane facilities.”

 

Gov. Cuomo also tweeted Monday, writing “As of today, NY’s Raise the Age Law is now in effect. This law raises the age of criminal responsibility, removes 16-year-olds from the adult criminal justice system, and prohibits 16- & 17-year-olds from being housed at Rikers Island. A big step forward for our justice system.”

“All 16- and 17-year-olds have been transferred from Rikers Island to Horizon Detention Center,” said ACS spokeswoman Chanel Caraway. “We are in a transitionary period for a historic reform that’s never been done before and there have been some incidents involving youth and officers, which were quickly addressed. None of the injuries were serious, but we take these and all incidents seriously.”

That last statement was a doozy, for it leads open the suspicion that Ms. Caraway has never felt of even seen a broken bone or surface wound. But the damning thing about this is that this transfer was under the purview of the Administration Of Children’s Services. Which is a wonder why they didn’t send guards from that government office and laid the care and security of the center on the Department Of Corrections. Certainly that may have driven the young inmates to go giddy at the prospect of getting some sort of revenge on their former captors.

Another thing about the Horizon transfer is why wasn’t the near billion dollar mental health program THRIVE run by de Blasio’s wife and co-mayor Chirlane was somehow not involved in this? Being that the reason behind this transfer was to get them away from the mentally traumatizing environment in the cells of Rikers. But the answer to that is that even the officials in those government offices knew damn well of the potential danger lied ahead if they sent their counselors there and obviously did not want to risk injury or even death. Despite all the alleged empathy behind this transfer and the Rikers shutdown in general is the obvious concern and fear knowing how those 90+ formerly incarcerated kids will violently react.

If there has been some actual progress in this nascent stage of criminal rehabilitation is that the city finally acknowledged that they had to make conditions safer at Horizon by bolting down the desks so the gangbangers don’t weaponize them and fogging the windows so they don’t see each other (even though they definitely are aware of each others existence, duh.)

Meanwhile, as Horizon is currently and temporarily faded into the background, plan b of the city’s mentally mad Rikers closing is gathering methane releasing steam with the building of new prisons in neighborhoods in the boroughs except for Staten Island (which with the failure of the ferris wheel, they actually have prime real estate to glom for a prison there). And it will also be understating how contentious (although utterly inspiring) the reactions of the communities from those towns are.

What started in a scarcely reported city hall meeting scarcely meaning that it was closed to the press and public that was only with by a tweet, in what can be derived of being under the impaired influence from the Lippman Study and the still unmentioned pernicious influence of big time real estate investors and the lobbying involved from both entities, the city wants to build smaller prisons in the metropolitan areas of Kew Gardens, Queens; Downtown Brooklyn; Chinatown, Manhattan, and bizarrely and most inappropriately on a residential street corner in Mott Haven in the Bronx.

The unmistakable fury and abject objections for the city’s tactless and crass plans to place jails was dominant in recent hearings in Kew Gardens and Mott Haven. And why wouldn’t it, because like every other ill-thought policy that comes from and is induced onto the constituency from de Blasio’s city hall city planners and (whoever the new agents of the city are) is executed by stealth and with arrogance and disingenuous self-righteous blather. For example, the neighborhood jail plan draft was initiated in a secret meeting in city hall among officials and some persons of interest that was closed to the public and reporters according to a tweet by a writer from Gothamist, then the draft was disseminated to reporters hours later. (Foul fact, when that cityblog folded, de Blasio arranged a meeting with them for some bullshit discussion but mostly to bloviate what a progressive icon he is.)

And what a draft it is. Because you see, the plan is to not just put prisons in residential areas. Oh no, your fucking city wants to place prisons where criminals will be serving long sentences in towers. Towers ranging from 20 to 40 stories! Because you see, the city and obviously the unmentioned caring folks from real estate and development, want to integrate unsightly prisons with residential living and commerce by having apartments built with them and stores to shop or restaurants to dine in.

81518closerikers3.jpgTake this dumbshit rendering please and shove it up your neoliberal asses.

It seems the reason for these stylish glossy penitentiaries is so it seamlessly and aesthetically blends in with all the other glossy towers that have arose in Brooklyn and Manhattan and the presence of towers will hopefully spur high market speculation in Kew Gardens and Mott Haven (leading to pestilent gentrification). But it mostly gives the impression that the neoliberal powers that be think that towers and the vector of upscale living it emits will be able to camoflage the inconvenient truth about the existence of crime and criminals. Just like the rationale that affordable housing can only exist with luxury tower development, resulting mostly in camoflaging the existence of destitution and homelessness. On the subject of affordable housing, these towers with jails will also conveniently yet slightly speed up de Blasio’s bogus affordable housing program in a way too since it doesn’t take much thought to speculate that no one would pay market rate to live in the same building with convicts milling around the lower floors. And judging by the fury of the citizenry of these targeted areas, those people obviously wouldn’t want to live there either.

These spanking new jails are suppose to materialize only if the prison population decreases to 5000. Which is a super tall order considering that major crimes like murder and rape have had incremental increases and all other crimes like grand larceny, assault and battery and burglary have remained steady.

But damn if these big brainiacs in their elected, exalted government jobs and a clueless, oblivious heiress and her non-profit operation aren’t going to stop trying to fulfill this #Rikersshutdown mission in spite of tax-paying residents rejections and the inevitable societal malaise that will occur.

That heiress would be Kerry Kennedy and her foundation. Who has put up five million dollars to post bail for women prisoners in Rikers and even those ultraviolent kids in Horizon despite prior arrests and serving time for attempted murder, robbery and assault. Which those teenagers committed again immediately on Horizon’s admission day . One female convict and recidivist criminal who held up a sex shop at knifepoint that Kerry’s foundation bailed out by contributing $25,000, didn’t show up at her court hearing to ensure her new found charitable freedom.

Then there was a murder committed by a man who scored a plea dea by D.A. Cy Vance after he was charged for possessing an illegal gun. Just a week and a day after Vance’s way too trusting decision, that man got involved in a street hassle with another man on the street and chase him down and shot him in cold blood.

Another thing these fauxgressive intellectuals like Lippman, Kennedy, and progressive issue bandwagon jumpers and stowaways like de Blasio and Cuomo don’t get or even acknowledge are the people, the victims of the crimes committed at them from these kids and adults. Victims of a rape, robbery, burglary, assault and murder of course are being violated of their human rights too. Which is hard to conceive by people isolated in the upper echelons of society and class and those elected officials daily protected by an entourage of cops. And deep down they know it’s a fact, because before the transfers of juvenile delinquents to the Bronx and these obligatory bullshit town hall hearings for the boro prisons, the city’s commitment to upgrade and renovate Rikers Island to make it handicap accessible is still going on at the cost of 50 million dollars.

And even de Blasio is not immune from his fears (and he has many this man is a giant coward) of the presence of these inmates as well as the existence of crime itself. When the weak ass mayor decided to hold a press conference at the 40th Pct. back in July, he ordered that prisoners detained in the cells there be moved to the 41st Pct. across town. The illogical logistics led to the latter Pct. forced to assemble a command post outside of their station to handle the load of new arrests, being that the 40th has seen a large rise of crime in that district.

The cognitive dissonance and brazen hypocrisy by him as well as the other suspects mentioned here shows that these plans have no basis in reality or common sense and is irresponsible. But mostly incompatible with the towns they want to dump these prisons on and even on the inmates they purport to help. The corrections officers and the citizenry are extremely right to reject these programs.

Bo Deitl, during his disruptive, incorrigible and juvenile behavior during the mayoral debates around this time last year made the best observation about Rikers Island: “Why don’t we fix what we got”. That sentiment desperately still needs to be applied here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to help these convicts and make certain that they are dwelling in a safe environment during their incarceration. After all, prisoners have rights. But these reform plans and the officials minds that concocted and executing them, along with the rationales behind them are as hardheaded and maladjusted as most of the kids that rioted  the first day at Horizon and any recidivist criminal continuing to commit crimes on the streets against the citizenry.

 

 

Governor Cuomo And Cynthia Nixon Are Progressive Poseurs

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYQbXxoW0AABBqd.jpgWhat are you doing Andrew? (photo: Latest)

The State Of New York

It looks like Mario’s son, Governor Andrew Cuomo has finally found his inner populist again. The first time when he bombastically gestured that he was going to put an end to perpetual corruption in Albany and assembled the Moreland Commission to do just that, only to annihilate it once it got too close to his inner circle aka his the two other men intthe room, Sheldon Shady Silver and Dean Skelos, leading to their indictments. All it took was for all his friends in the Buffalo Billion scandal to get indicted and his honorary kid brother Joey Percoco to get convicted for using the government offices under Andy’s purview for monetary and influential gain for him and his wife to find it.

Now that he lost all his friends, Andy came downstate to the city to expose even further the inhumane and wretched state of public housing with PIX news in tow all while Mayor de Blasio was out of town promoting himself as a supposed resistance fighter. Pictures showing the Guv pointing at dilapidated things and roach colonies and making obvious observations about how revolting it all is.

Well, let’s say his sudden presence payed dividends, because the apartment he made an example of NYCHA’s criminal neglect, resided by a paraplegic, got the urgent repairs and cleanup it needed. It may have also led to a similar fast track cleanup of an 83-year-old woman’s apartment that was inundated with mold. He also found $250 million dollars somewhere to speed up repairs for other NYCHA buildings (that’ll cover it in about the time he’s campaigning for re-election, natch). The Governor managed this with the same quickness as the opening of the 2nd Avenue subway line so it would be ready for his New Years Eve party and christening a few years back.

To top off his blatant photo-op tour, he participated in the city schools solidarity protest for the Parkland High School massacre, and died on the ground with the children around him.

His recent forays, even if did some good and was driven by spite to embarrass his fauxgressive mayoral foe, are doubtlessly suspicious. For one this drew some attention away from his idiot friend’s sentencing, how everyone he contracted to shore up the economy upstate with a solar factory are under indictment and of course his selective spending for the MTA, and another is that he obviously needs the city’s constituents to re-elect him so he’s doing some nice things, even piggybacking on a gun control youth movement. Yet he still won’t legalize pot.

In a way, Gov. Andy is trying to fast-track his own self-image as a progressive politician in a Scrooge like awakening. But it’s actually more like Robert Duvall’s minister in his masterpiece “The Apostle”, when after he cracks a guys head open with a baseball bat that puts him in a coma, he leaves town and shows up out of the blue into a broken poor town, assists in building a church and gives an inspiring sermon to the congregation.

Unfortunately, the sheriff comes for him and frog marches him out in handcuffs in front of everyone. Don’t know if Andy will have the same fate even though he clearly deserves it being what he has turned his elected position into, which is a sold-out figurehead compromised by his donors instead of a representative of the people.

But is surely shouldn’t be awarded to an actress with no prior elected office experience because she’s got progressive values or has been to political fundraising parties.

https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2018/03/20/20-cynthia-nixon.w710.h473.jpgCynthia For N.Y. ad. Don’t call her Nixon for now.

Cynthia Nixon, who appeared in the Oscar-winning film Amadeus and is famously renowned for her role in a TV show and movie spinoff and is very cute, officially announced her run for Governor. Actors have run for office before and she certainly has her right, but she is definitively not qualified and already has negative aspects about her candidacy.

For one, she has never held any office in her life, for she spent most of her career in the entertainment industry. For that alone is the reason why this state, and as you, the people have seen with Figurehead Trump, is reason alone why no one can just up and say they want to govern because they feel like they can. I don’t doubt Nixon’s intellect, (her Miranda character was a lawyer I think, yeah I watched the show, anyone who had a girlfriend when it was on HBO were obligated to view it), but Don Worthless has ruined it for everyone inexperienced in public service. And speaking of the fat pussy who fires people on Twitter, she is using the same tactics but from a liberal bent. Slamming Cuomo for being the bought off politician he is and allowing corrupt cronies to run rampant and his unforgivable management of the MTA, but she doesn’t have her own solutions or plans for governing. And while she’s directing falsehoods about his progressive stances when he endorsed and helped legalize same sex marriage in the state making it possible to for her to marry her girlfriend. And it’s interesting that she didn’t bring up his fundraising or his budgetary misdirected and profligate spending.

And two, and this a big number two pun intended. For all the inferring talk on Cuomo’s corruption, Nixon is way too close to the most corrupt mayor in the past 170 years and stupidest mayor anywhere of all time, Co-Mayor Big Slow de Blasio. It’s going to be an interesting debate if Nixon brings up how Cuomo’s influenced by donor cash when she associates with the biggest whore in the nation dependent on real estate money and his own blatant illegal fundraising in city hall. There is also the inconvenient truth about how he let lobbyists tied to his mayoral campaign get access and sit down and participate in meetings concerning city services and planning.

Coincidentally, her campaign is being managed by two of his agents of the city too. Her first ad shows her with her toddler daughter, commuting on the train on a peculiarly bare platform and car (when was this filmed, 4 a.m. on a Sunday?) and speaking at rallies, notably one on a podium with a rainbow colored filled RESIST emblazoned on it. That’s three of the four food groups of optical progressive campaigning right there.

It’s early in the year but this competition looks solidified, being the fact that lots of money runs politics and Andy has lots of it in his coffers and certainly Cyndi will soon. Andy sucks, but Cyndi is not the answer or even a good alternative, although clearly the lady is way easier on the eyes. And again the Republicans aren’t putting up anyone good or even distinctive and they denied the one guy a chance, Joel Giambra, who actually has independent thoughts and actual progressive ideas (including an EXCELLENT one to legalize pot to fund the MTA with taxes from it’s sales) to campaign on the GOP line.

In the meantime, look forward (or not, I won’t and neither will you, the people) to a lot more nauseating feel-good electioneering and feel-good false promises from Mario’s Son and T.V.’s Miranda in the next 6 months.

It’s a choice between two poseurs. At least it’s not two evils. Well Cuomo was evil once, but he’s turned face because of mitigating circumstances. This state and democracy are quite fucked.

https://cdn.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.3797845.1340621344!/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/landscape_768/image.JPG

 

Get money out of politics. Repeal Citizens United and the McDonnell decision.

http://endcitizensunited.org

 

http://www.wolf-pac.com/

http://www.citizen.org/home

https://berniesanders.com/issues/money-in-politics/

 

 

 

Congeniality Court

https://assets.dnainfo.com/generated/sfb111/story_xlimage_2010_07_R8573_courts_.jpg/larger.jpg
Manhattan Criminal Court. This place looks fun, and by golly it will be.

Manhattan, New York

The N.Y. Daily News had a little news nugget on their Thanksgiving Day paper that got totally overlooked and virtually ignored. Even by the editors themselves for this story of craven wasteful city funding and bureaucratic absurdity is not even available on their website. Talk about manufacturing consent! (It’s on pressreader, which gives the feel of reading a file at a library).

This news item is so outrageous, comically surreal, and disturbing that I don’t know how the Post didn’t get it. Because if it did it surely would have been on Fox local and cable news. But it was on page 28 in the publishing purgatory between the letters to the editor and sports pages.

087.jpg

Written by Erin Durkin, highlighted, sprinkled with occasion profanities and emphasized by JQ LLC of Impunity City. Your City.

The City is trying to build kinder, friendly courtrooms.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court, judges are being urged to watch their language-avoiding legal jargon, calling people by their name rather than “the defendant” and greeting people when they enter.

Defendants will be surveyed on their experience in court – and get a $15.00 Dunkin’ Donuts gift card for filling out the questionnaire.

“If a litigant feels they’re being treated with respect, they have an idea what’s going on…they’re more likely to perceive the process as fair.” said Adam Mansky of the Center for Court Innovation, which is working for on the program with the Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice and Office of Court Administration. “They’re more likely to comply with their obligations, come back to court, pay their fine.”

The city is picking up the tab for the program, which totals fucking $800,000!

In meetings with judges, court officers and clerks, the groups will encourage courtroom personnel to introduce themselves, say good morning, and ask if everyone can hear what’s going on.  Judges are being urged to say that they assume the defendant is innocent and not refer to people as “defendants” or “bodies”, instead calling them by name.

The surveys will be given out to people leaving arraignment and other trial parts of court.

It asks people how confident they feel in police, prosecutors, judges, their defense attorney, and whether they think the criminal courts treat defendants with dignity and respect, according to a copy of the questionnaire.

The gift cards are being given out because research ethics boards frown on having people participate in research without compensation, Mansky said.

What we have going on here, is not something being reported in the Onion, but a real stupid expensive program and the latest de Faustio policy travesty to turn courtrooms into wellness experiences. Like as you would enter a discount department store or a blandly vibrant workspace office building.

Note that judges are being urged, which sounds hostile on its face for a thing that promotes tolerance and sensitivity, to implement these new standards because the word defendant, which what the accused actually are is somehow offensive.

Maybe the most pressing thing about this is who the fuck is this dink Mansky and what the hell is this Court Innovation Center and when was it made? This program sounds like something out of a dystopian cartoon. So there are going to monitors wandering around that big dark building making sure that judges abide by these milquetoast rules. How is this going to work? “Will Larry/Plaxico/Kim/Demi/Andre 3000 take the stand?” “How do you plea, Matt/Taylor/Meek/Judy/Bababooey?”. And the judges have to personalize the dead victims too? Like a random victim or rival of some gangbanger, a career mobster hitman’s trail of bodies or a bunch of serial killer’s victims? Really, with the latter the judge has to name all of them? Holy shitballs.

And it’s going to fleece the tax payers of 800 large. I wonder how much of that pile is going to dunkin donuts, which sounds like they are sponsoring this retarded program, and that’s pretty lousy and unhealthy comp. More sugary junk to fill their guts, like their lives don’t suck enough that the defendant raped or murdered somebody.

I wonder how many people are going to be monitors, because this sounds like the bulk of this cash is going to the monitors themselves in bloated six figure salaries. Which the city and said monitors will justify by holding meetings every day to indoctrinate this undignified, insulting, redundant, cordial human resources corporate bullshit. Telling those responsible for meting out justice, securing the areas and pushing buttons all day how to present and conduct themselves. This will go over swimmingly with the certain to be disgruntled personnel.

I can’t wait to see how these surveys will be conducted with uncooperative men and women on trial unsatisfied with their verdicts and conviction: “That fucking judge sucks” “That pig set me up” “He looked at me funny so I had to steal that guard’s gun” Fuck this survey shit, gimme that coupon anyway, I wanna an Frappe and a half dozen bow ties, motherfucker”

This program sets a new lower bar for the day mayor de Faustio mayoralty II: The Phantom Mandate; which includes the other asinine behavior and thought modification program, the offensive statue panel and the creation of the nightlife mayor. The court system probably does need some improvement, I don’t know what that actually is, but trying to turn it some swell time social function is unrealistic. But reality is also a offensive word to the Mayor and his happy fauxgressive dunce cult. This program with it’s made up bureaucracy is like if Mr. Rogers had a criminal courthouse in his Land Of Make Believe (at least that transit system worked efficiently)

If this doesn’t work out, or if it’s suddenly terminated because of the sheer stupidity of it, I foresee the next program will involve a new format. Probably theatrical song and dance with choreography. Knowing this stupid Mayor and his habit for squandering millions of dollars and his proclivity for starfucking, he will probably commission Lin-Manuel Miranda to oversee, conduct and choreograph it.

Here’s hoping this stupid fucking idiot is more frugal and give it to Reba McIntyre and Steven Bochco of Cop Rock infamy. He is well aware of impending federal cuts from his political yang to his yin Donald Trump as he likes to reminds us to divert attention from his current and inevitable policy failures.

It looks more fun already.

 

 

 

Update: Tronc did post this crazy story on the Daily News website on Nov. 22. It was easy to miss because it was published at the end of the workday and also wasn’t easily available with a google search by going by the paper headline, so apologies and kudos to them.

Another Update: Video footage has been found of “Court Innovator” Adam Mansky’s prior work at a high school 25 years ago.