Preemptive Preventive Movie Review: Bad Santa 2

I declare sacrilege.

The original Bad Santa is one of the greatest holiday movies of all time. Directed by acclaimed director Terry Zwigoff over a decade ago, it was hilarious and sad in the best ways and featured great performances from the once consistent Billy Bob Thornton as the title character who’s like Charles Bukowski was reincarnated without literary talent and had to resort playing Santa in shopping malls and burglary to feed his vices.Tony Cox in a breakout performance which for unknown reasons hasn’t made him as much a household name as Peter Dinklage. And of the most sad sack sympathetic abused characters in movie lore in the child character with the unfortunate name of Thurman Murman, which when revealed later in the first movie actually came as a shock despite how often he was bullied by the skater boys.

As is want in this era of film production, actually in the last 20 years this has been going on like the decline of the great barrier reef, the belated unnecessary sequel has been released. Since I don’t have money to go see this and rather spend ninety minutes watching paint dry or an actual good movie on the VCR I still own, I prefer to take the liberty to denounce this without actually seeing it. Really why bother when theaters are shutting down and the majority of releases are cynical garbage like this, comic book adaptations and the infinite Star Wars franchise. Because I am secure in the knowledge that this abomination was only made because of the yearly viral, as in virus, outbreak of the wretched millenial drunken vagrant parade that is Santacon. A vile holiday season event where binge drinking, yelling and vomiting douchebags and douchehags dressed up in kringle drag roam the streets of NYC, preferably the East Village and Williamsburg since that’s where the flurry of liquor licenses doled by the city have been sent, and run around roughshod without a hint of repression by our local cops sworn to protect us and this thing called “quality of life” which was referred to incessantly during “Giuliani Time” in the 90’s to justify the failure of “stop and frisk”.

It’s amazing even still that behavior like this continues to terrorize locals when the only time that the NYPD is used for crowd control in comparison is when people assemble to protest and they get the military oppression treatment while these sheilds and clubs that are usually wielded against them would be more useful and justified on a brigade of obnoxious drunks in their 20’s and 30’s.

Oh, well, I guess there are priorities. For the santa-conners frivolously spend money and protesters don’t buy anything at all. Since money is legally declared speech, inebriated screaming and yelling matters more than the speech that is free, even if it contains bile and chunks.

2 thoughts on “Preemptive Preventive Movie Review: Bad Santa 2

  1. My thoughts exactly. I howled at the original and when I saw this “sequel”, I did a Charlie Brown, “GOOD GRIEF”. I still remember seeing the original at the Regal Theatres at Battery Park, when I used to go see movies before they turned into animation, comic books and remakes, reboots and sequels and people do not talk constantly through movies or text with their glaring phone lights.

    My couch is just fine…………….and, I also have a VCR that I use to this day, a Sony, almost 20 years old which during that time I had to replace a DVD player at least 5 times.

    By the way, have been waiting for your blog to hit the newsstands. GOOD JOB.


    • Thanks for the props and encouragement. I wanted to do this back in May, but never had the time and was reading a lot because of this election year.

      And it’s equally great that you ressurected your blog. Your writing and photography just kills.

      Best line in Bad Santa was when Tony Cox was criticizing and snapping at bad santa’s condition and Billy goes, “What are you, Sigmund “sawed-off” Freud?”

      Sorry you had to see it, but at least that wretched douche parade Santacon doesn’t come to Queens, especially the Dirty Southeast.


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