Mario’s Son’s Shitty Resignation And Lament

That’s all folks.

  Albany, New York, U.S.A.

It took a decade, but the reign of Governor Andrew Cuomo finally and mercifully has ended. There actually was a time when Mario’s Son would have been extricated earlier when he abolished the Moreland Commission to investigate permanent government corruption in the halls of the Albany State House-which was actually a fulfillment of a campaign promise he swore on that got him the governor’s position-but wound up being at the time his biggest self-own as D.A. investigations were going into REBNY’s role in influencing state policy decisions and eventually wound up getting two of the three men in the room Shelly Silver and Dean Skelos incarcerated for their pay to play schemes benefiting their donors.

Surprisingly, Cuomo managed to skate after all that and he continued on with business as usual making sure his moneyed donors continue to profit off his policy decisions. It wasn’t until COVID-19 ravished New York that Cuomo really went overboard. Sure everybody knows about how his executive decisions got 15,000 elderly people killed with his nursing home edict and how he obscenely profited from the pandemic by writing a book about it, but the reason why he’s gone is because Cuomo is a horndog.

After homemaker entrepreneur Sandra Lee dumped Cuomo just a few months before the pandemic was about to smack New York, Cuomo must have been really hardup to get laid. Then when the pandemic was ravishing his state, Cuomo was suddenly thrust into the limelight with his daily briefings and his constant appearances on his kid brother’s prime time news show on CNN. Suddenly and disturbingly, the governor became a sex symbol over night, culminating with universal adoration from morning and late night talk show hosts and social media influencers which led to even more disturbing merchandise honoring the governor’s sex symbol status . And being a megalomaniac narcissist, he probably though he can parlay this newfound fame into getting some young poontang in the office. And being how he was a counterpoint to universally culturally loathed Donald Trump, he probably thought he could shit where he ate and get away with it.

It was around this time Charlotte Bennett was his aide. Although he didn’t lay a hand on her, Cuomo’s still took opportunities to give her insinuations and implications that he thought would make her swoon for him. Cuomo must have thought he could parlay those Cuomosexual t-shirts into political ingenue arm candy.

 

Around the time Cuomo became the recipient of a just made up Emmy award is when he set his ribald wiles on Executive Assistant #1 by getting her alone in a room at the Governor’s mansion and having his way with her, as he reached into her shirt and went to second base with her. EA #1 kept this traumatic incident to herself because of the culture of intimidation established in the Cuomo administration and undoubtedly the cult of personality around him because of his celebrity and mostly his political status as a leader guiding his state and the nation during the pandemic.

After EA #1 was highlighted in A.G. Letitia James report as well as a female State Trooper Cuomo got liberally handsy with and one incident where he asked her why she doesn’t wear a dress (maybe it’s because that’s not the required uniform ya perv), Cuomo released a mea video culpa to all media outlets that he never touched anyone inappropriately, repeating the same defense he made after Lindsey Boyland unleashed her accusations of predatory behavior towards her back in March that opened up the investigation. Following 10 minutes of ponderous anecdotes and denials, Cuomo’s video unleashed a montage of photos showing him kissing and touching his mother and other politicians.

From the looks of some of these photos, it’s telling if these people, and one child, were appreciative of Cuomo’s affectations.

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Even Vice President Al Gore was visibly cringing.

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Prefacing and during this ludicrous montage, Cuomo claimed that they were all acts of affection that was passed down by his mother Matilda and became ingrained in him while growing up Italian, brazen false equivalencies he attributes to his aggressive inappropriate touching and condescending come-on incidents with the 11 women he had encounters with. But it’s extremely doubtful that any Italian mother ever reached into her son’s shirt and grabbed his boobies or made lascivious comments about his figure for being such a good boy.

Once D.A. James report was released and confirmed that Cuomo did touch all those women inappropriately, it didn’t take long for the typhoon deluge of demands for his resignation from New York’s elected officials and Democrat Party establishment, again, now that it was politically expedient after letting Cuomo slide for months to continue lording from the Governor’s Mansion although while taking advantage of the weakened megalomaniac by getting marijuana finally legalized, debt forgiveness for CUNY students and extensions of the eviction moratorium.

It also didn’t take long for new expose’s to come out about Cuomo’s protection racket that tried to oppress accusations of his abuse of power and toxic workplace environment with Cuomo’s political gun moll Melissa de Rosa got cited for assembling a team to dig up dirt on Lindsey Boyland after the former top aide went commando with her accusations against the LuvGuv on Medium and Twitter. The fallout also crashed on Mario’s other son Chris Cuomo, who along with other major DNC advisors got caught giving his brother advice while being given access to state records to circumvent the bad publicity of his brother’s scandal.

Also after Cuomo’s shitty video lament, it was clear to Executive Assistant #1 that her former boss was going to continue smearing her and she came out and exposed her identity in an interview with CBS News as she thoroughly explained her harrowing experience with her former boss, her expression wholly revealing the trauma she went and is still going through with the memory of that incident. Which was enough to convince Mario’s son to finally announce his resignation after 20 minutes of his follow up unrepentant sorry/not sorry video still denying all the sexual harassment allegations against him. 

“I have never crossed the line But the lines have been redrawn”

It’s not hard to figure out why Mario’s Son is still being defiant about his fervent denials and it’s not just his frequent misinterpretation of being New York Tough which inspired him to reject resignation for 5 months. Its that D.A. James report doesn’t really charge him with anything, for it’s a civil case and not a criminal case. So Cuomo won’t be seeing any jail time any time soon, unless the incident with Brittany Commiso leads to charges.

Plus a deal was clearly made with Cuomo and the State Assembly for him (and his moll de Rosa) to keep his job and run the state for another two weeks, which should factor in the major land deal coming to the Penn Station district for another Hudson Yards luxury tower and commercial tower district with plutocrat Stephen Ross and who knows what other land grabs and tax break extensions Cuomo will enable and entitle them with after the sociopath developer donor money funded suarez they threw on Andy’s birthday a week before James report came out. And now with Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie abruptly dropping the impeachment proceedings against Mario’s son for his shitty resignation, Cuomo can still run for office again if he wishes to do so.

So what’s happened here is that after all the accusations and all the corrupt machinating that kept Cuomo running New York State has really amounted to nothing except getting the governor cancelled or deplatformed for a little while. D.A. James investigation was an exciting chase that was better than the actual catch. Meanwhile, Cuomo’s other major crime that affected and traumatized more lives-and ended over 15,000 of them-is still not being addressed, and that coward Carl Heastie has just killed the chance for James to do a long overdue probe on it, which follows the Biden Administration’s Justice Dept. heinous decision to not pursue civil rights charges against Cuomo for his edict ordering nursing homes to take in COVID patients while knowing full well how the virus impacts on elder people with weakened immunity and in vulnerable environments. And with the exception of a few  officials, it’s amazing how they were willing to tolerate Cuomo for his involuntary mass manslaughter of thousands of elderly people and then order de Rosa and her mean girl posse to juke the stats so it would be presentable in a book her boss got paid 5 million to write and then order her to lie to federal officials about the real death count.

The same with Washington D.C. too. For Cuomo has a loyal friend in the senile fascist Figurehead of the United States in Biden, because Cuomo was there in meetings about the infrastructure bills being written in Congress during James investigation and was also still the leader of the National Governors Board. It must have hurt Unkie Joe to finally call for his ouster for his perversions considering all the hair of children he opportunistically smelled during swear ins and his own finger raping of Tara Reade that he got away with thanks to the undermining of her accusations and militia style smearing of her on social media. That undermining courtesy of the fraudulent feminist organization Times Up, which also assisted Cuomo in providing protection for him going after his accusers.

All New York got out of this was a brief respite for seeing Andy’s gargoyle face for a while and it seems no justice is really going to come for all those elderly people Cuomo made expendable to protect his hospital and hospice care executives. The executive downfall of Mario’s son may assure a better working environment in the Albany State House but the disease of permanent government patronage and cronyism will still remain the same.

To quote Joe Biden: Nothing Will Fundamentally Change.

Surely, the former LuvGuv can appreciate all that.

 

Governor Cuomo’s COVIDsplosions In The Sky

New York, America

Governor Andrew Cuomo sure knows how to throw a celebration. The most recent on being the lifting of most/some of the distancing and masking protocols of the pandemic. Inspired by the CDC and the vaccination stats hitting 70%, Mario’s oldest son suddenly came out like a bolt right out of the blue with a spur of the moment state wide fireworks show to mark the quasi-official end of the old New Normal in New York.

Following a grand statesman address where he announced his state’s and constituency’s very abrupt post pandemic liberation, he found time to declare this little tone-deaf nugget to goad the rest of the citizenry that’s still hesitant and mostly distrustful of the three vaccines still available:

“You want to honor #EssentialWorkers, I’ll tell you how: you get vaccinated so you don’t need essential workers again.”

Leave it to Andy Cuomo to malign and alienate two sects of the working class and think it’s a compliment (just like Micheal Scott from the office but sinister), people who can’t afford health insurance worried about withdrawal symptoms that might hospitalized them and the people who worked in hospitals who risked their lives taking care of the infected and dying in the last year especially after Cuomo still attempted to shut down hospitals when cases started to go down as if this will be the last outbreak on this planet.

As for the fireworks some found it great, like all the people who got front row on the park grass, a spot on a riverside promenade rail, on their luxury condo balcony and rooftop amenity seats; and most obviously by some of Cuomo’s loyalist subjects…

But others, especially some very renowned from being victimized by the Governor’s obscene and flagrant abuse of his executive powers, found the utter idea of the Governor’s fireworks festivities beyond off-putting.

You would think the Manhattan BP candidate would be a little biased, reasonably so, because of her past experience in Andy’s employ, but some of the sky explosion decorations did come out quite eerie and in a way, properly fit the theme of Cuomo’s pandemic victory party.

Some of these explosions looked exactly like the COVID-19 cell.

Not a joke.

 

 

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Sure it’s a bit of a coinkydink, but observations like these are hard to pass up considering the proclivities of the micromanaging megalomaniac governor. But what can’t be dismissed is that these festivities were not spur of the moment but obviously took month of planning, as does every other fireworks event. Plus Cuomo has already established himself as a self-promoting event organizer with his prior ostentatious grand openings of the Second Avenue subway and the Kusciusko Bridge.  As with those events, they meant less for the people that used them every day and more for Cuomo’s behemoth ego-driven legacy he’s trying to leave for himself.

But as with the Kusciusko Bridge and (also his Dad’s bridge) Cuomo’s and New York’s victory over coronavirus might have been greatly exaggerated and premature, even with the CDC guidelines. With a little creatively shady accounting of the 70% vaccination rate for liberty, the Luv Guv’s health dept with an assist from Mayor de Blasio’s sniveling pandemic advisor HHS Director Dr. Mitchell Katz, combined the adult vaccination stats with the vaccination stats of kids and teenagers and decided to use them anyway despite it’s glaring inaccuracies. Plus the 70% indicator is not even accurate because the stats have been amateurishly juked to include the masses who only got the first vaccination while waiting for the second one, which they have to wait three weeks for, which actually makes the real amount of people fully vaxed at about 35%. There’s also the issue of a rash of fake vac cards that have become easily accessible.

Then there is also the issue of the B.1617 Delta Variant of COVID-19, previously known as the India Variant  because it wound up killing tens of thousands of citizens in India following a humongous festival thrown by Prime Minister Modi to celebrate that nation’s way premature victory over coronavirus. While this has been determined to be a “virus of concern” by the CDC, the WHO has treated this variant with more severity. The Delta Variant was also found in Canada to be invulnerable to vaccines as well. Which will give us more agita if cases rise again in New York City and upstate. It should also be noted that the city and state have no data for re-infections after vaccines too.

And as is want of Cuomo, there are underlying insidious motives for his public grandiosities and it again comes in the form of more personal and government scandals and in this case both. Right after Cuomo lit up the sky with COVIDsplosion rockets red ball glare, an expose came out about his kid sister raising funds for his long time friend, symbolic adopted brother and  convicted partner in crime and government ally Joseph Percoco who was arranging ziti bribes with companies looking to do business with Andrew and Albany. Not for nothing, but it looks like Andy sent his sister as a proxy to shut Percoco up in case he wants to sing to the feds if the nursing home scandal starts really getting hot. And it might just happen, after NYC’s bar association put out their own study proving without a doubt that Cuomo’s edict is what led to the unnecessary preventable deaths of over 15,000 elderly people when he permitted hospitals to send COVID-19 positive patients to be cared for in nursing homes for the six deadliest  weeks in the state of New York.

The sad, terrible thing about all this is that it’s still possible that Cuomo is going to skate on by and still be able to run again in 2021, and still get endorsed by the establishment Democrat Party and he still is the chairman of the National Governors Association too. Even though his craven decisions led to the deaths of over 54,000 New Yorkers and if the Delta Variant continues it’s insidious march we might be looking at thousands more to fuck up this speculative greatest summer in New York City history.

This is why Cuomo is acting like he’s the COVID conquering King Of New York. Too bad there is no vaccine for hubris.

 

Mayor de Blasio Accuses MTA For Running Protection Of Governor Cuomo’s Scandals After Proving Them Correct About The Rise In Subway Crime

The Blaz has just insulted the intelligence, impugned the credibility and symbolically declared war on the MTA, transit workers and commuters/his constituents in New York City.

New York Reaches Higher Ground With Marijuana Legalization

Albany, New York

It took almost a decade since it was first proposed, three years of Governor Cuomo blowing it off, and 50 years since Governor Rockefeller gleefully criminalized it, but in the 3rd decade of the 21st Century, New York has finally ended the prohibition on Marijuana, making it legal to smoke, grow and sell.

This way overdue decision is going to ignite this state’s economy with tons of businesses and jobs. Since the law was ratified, stocks on marijuana and smoking and toking accessories are literally reaching new highs. It might take a while, but soon we all will have the divine right to buy it in a dispensary, a chain pharmacy and finally at the corner bodega without worrying if the po po is rolling around the corner. It’s going to be so sweet to buy a dime bag of sativa instead of that ajax tainted K-2 shit those stores have been selling for the last 5 years.

It took awhile for Mario’s son Governor Cuomo to finally come to his senses and also follow the science, considering the well-documented medicinal benefits of the wacky tobaccky, notably for treating glaucoma and even PTSD and cultural benefits being responsible for the best music that’s been created in the last 70 years. It’s also irresistible to point out how Cuomo decided to vote for legalization when he pointed out how the justice system unfairly treated Black and Latino people who got charged and served time for minor possessions and how his expedient empathy for being hounded by the cops and the feds correlates precisely with two federal investigations against him for his executive decisions lead to over 15,000 fatalities in nursing homes and his abominable abuse of power over his female staffers in multiple sexual harassment cases.

No matter, in a year’s time, there will be no need for a road trip to northern Mass. or a PATH ride to Jersey. Kind buds will be sprouting and flowing without restriction from Niagra Falls to the New York Island. A critical mass of tokers finally liberated,  feeling the effects of the high til infinity.

Smoke em if you got ’em, and when you get ’em.

Shaun Donavan Needs His Daddy To Make Him Mayor

 

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New York Times

With New York City’s mayoral primary a little more than three months away and a deadline to qualify for the city’s generous matching-funds program having just passed, pleas for donations have been in overdrive in recent days.But in the background, another spigot of money has quietly opened for two Democratic mayoral candidates who are trailing in early polls: Raymond J. McGuire and Shaun Donovan.

An independent expenditure committee for Mr. McGuire, a former Wall Street executive, has garnered more than $3 million since Feb. 1, with more than 70 donations from business magnates, including Kenneth Langone, the billionaire co-founder of Home Depot; the art world philanthropist Agnes Gund; and the real estate developer Aby J. Rosen.

A new super PAC for Mr. Donovan, a former cabinet member in the Obama administration, in contrast, has drawn $1.02 million from just two donors — the primary benefactor being his father, Michael Donovan, an executive in the ad tech industry who donated $1 million.

In an interview, Mr. Donovan, the candidate’s father, said he was trying to “level the playing field,” particularly since some candidates began raising money before they even declared they were running for mayor.

“I can’t give very much to Shaun directly, and seeing the amount of money McGuire had raised and all these other people, I felt he needed enough to go out and compete and get the message across,” Mr. Donovan said.

In other words, Shaun Donavon, a man who recently turned 55 years old and worked for Mayor Mike Bloomberg and President Obama, saw his current predicament in the mayor’s race and said:

“DADDY I WANNA BE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY RIGHT NOW!!!!”

“GIMME A MILLION DOLLAAAARRRSSS!!!”

It’s not even worth going into why he’s running and why he’ll be a shit mayor just like the current shit mayor who’s been stinking up city hall for 7.3 years, but to summarize Shaunny will not to do a thing to improve the housing crisis and the continuing demolition by neglect of public housing in the five boroughs considering they never improved in his time running city housing in New York and Housing and Urban Development in the White House.

But the focus should not only be on the infinitely cancerous influence of money and politics that’s destroying democracy stemming from the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision, because there are so many piles of rancid corrupted shit involved in Shaun’s pop trying to salvage his floundering and now incestuous mayoral campaign. Daddy Donovan is not only his son’s number one financier, but he’s on the board of the slick public relations firm MediaOcean that’s been fueling Shaun’s campaign media exposure. To make this more nauseating, Shaun’s current raise on his allowance is designed to qualify for public matching campaign funds which would him to accrue 9x the amount of every individual (person) donation under 2,000. Campaign funding that comes directly from city taxpayer dollars.

This brazen purchasing of the primary by Shaun’s dad is that besides him there’s only one person that feels he’s qualified to run City Hall. Even more pathetic is that Shaun’s dad thinks his son’s (inevitable) absence from the race is some form of voter disenfranchisement and not because he can’t keep up with his competitors whether on the issues or fundraising. Especially with the latter, considering Shaun must have been jelly about Ray McGuire’s rapid money bundling from corporations and celebrities.

Another thing about Shaun Donovan and his pop trying to buy recognition and relevance in the mayor’s race is that this fits in with the demographic profile and stereotype of the hipster transients that moved to  Brooklyn. It’s no coincidence that Shaun was running the HPD Dept. under Bloomberg, running his housing and development policies that fostered the rapid overvalued speculative real estate market rate with renters dependent on their parents financing their rents while living lavishly beyond their means, which led to hyper gentrification and tower pestilence as the germination of Brooklyn’s gentrification that began in Williamsburg and creeped into nearby middle and working class towns like Bushwick and Bed-Stuy.

If there is anything to gleam by this passive patronage by Donavon and Son from the insipid article by the Times is the obvious toxic internecine connections involved in Shaun’s PAC is that the treasurer handling his million dollar allowance Brittany Wise previously worked on de Blasio’s 2013 mayoral campaign. The Blaz’s campaign manager Bill Hyers is reunited with Ms. Wise as advisor for Donovan’s farcical campaign. Overlooked in the Times article is that Shaun’s dad’s “ad tech” firm’s CEO goes by the name of Bill Wise. Doesn’t say if Brittany is his wife or sibling, but the kismet is super strong here.

But it’s not kismet, it’s establishment. Shaun is a spoiled manchild but he’s not naive. He was there when Bloomberg was buying the mayor’s office by spending 100 million dollars on ads to numb people into voting for him and in a way not to vote at all from being fatigued from his overexposure, and then how he bought other oligarchs and city council to run for an illegal third term.

And surely Shaun got inspired by the current Hizzoner; even though Mayor de Blasio has been a verified disaster at his job, he’s shown to be an idiot savant when it comes to filthy lucre fundraising, starting with his bribe and straw donor laden 501 c 4 he ran in City Hall with the Campaign For One New York to his shell game money laundering stylings with his two PAC funds he ran during his farcical presidential run in 2019 and was still able to escape unscathed even when he got sloppy with donors who themselves got indicted for the crime of giving him bribes and getting access to services as the Blaz had the good fortune of the SCOTUS McDonnell decision that legalized the acceptance of government bribes.

Top this off with the normalization of impunity in New York as Governor Cuomo continues to run the state and the pandemic response while being overwhelmed with three heinous corruption scandals with two federal investigations and near universal calls for his resignation and is still laughing it up in daily briefings with clearly intimidated brownnosing aides and officials and legendary Mets and Yankee pitchers like everything is still new normal.

Which is why Shaun Donavan and his Daddy’s flacks get in cognitive dissonance mode about their honest and wholesome graft, as plain and obvious as it is. They might not emerge victorious from this stunt, but they have set a new precedent and a newer normal for campaign fundraising and ultimately political patronage.

It’s new values for a  newer normal in a New New York.

Yeah? Well, then normal is fucked.

The Cuomo Variants/Occupy Albany

Albany, New York

“There is no way I’ll resign”

                                                                   Mario’s Son Governor Andrew Cuomo

“I prefer not to
                                                                                          Herman Melville, Bartleby the Scrivener

 

Despite what Andrew the Governor prefers not to hear regarding his verbal and physical sexual abuses and his federal criminal act of covering up nearly 10,000 nursing home residents deaths, he is going through a massive breakdown of Shakesperean proportions while trying to redo the tragic endings in the form of the sequel of his now tainted leadership lessons book.

Two criminal scandals, covering up tens of thousands of nursing home deaths and credible accusations of verbal and physical sexual abuse, the former under finally under federal and state investigation by the Brooklyn D.A. office and the latter which is now under the purview of the Albany P.D, and two independent investigations of both of them ordered by A.G. Letitia James and Cuomo still persists. For him, it’s not over until he decides it is, just like when the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor.

But it’s really not as simple or stupid as that; because Cuomo is not just a man or just the governor or even just a megalomaniac, but also an entity and a brand, all of which has blown to stratospheric epic proportions in the state of New York in COVID19 World and the New Normal.

Hell, he’s got this far so why not ride it out. So far, all of Cuomo’s offenses are just SAMO business as usual in government bureaucracies run by establishment politicians, especially legacy politicians like Mario’s Son. It’s why he was able to conjure a hospital to nursing home COVID-19 patient and dying resident pipeline and then go on his kid brother’s show for an hour every weeknight and trade anecdotes and juvenile snaps and then attempt to fiendishly court a manipulate a 25-year-old woman into having sex inside his statehouse quarters as thousands were still getting infected and dying from the coronavirus.

Then there was all those machinations to maintain Cuomo’s leadership mystique that was build up by corporate news and late night comedy talk show host enabling. Cuomo’s moll Melissa de Rosa and her accomplices had to prefabricate the nursing home data results that tallied another 9,000 coronavirus casualties so Cuomo’s Health Dept. quack Dr. Zucker can release an independent study that put the onus of the blame on the nursing home staffers and the relatives of the residents, even though the nursing homes were the first thing the Governor quarantined to keep out visitors weeks before he ordered to whole state to lock down. This collusion and conspiracy also gave Cuomo the opportunity and the material to work on his best selling book.

With Trump defeated and the decrepit Biden victorious, Andrew the Governor was in total control and emboldened that a trusted establishment ally became chief executive. It didn’t take long for rumors to surface about Biden considering to install Cuomo in the Attorney General’s race. But that story got cockblocked when Lindsay Boyland’s first strike against the LuvGuv in a twitter thread about the culture of intimidation and toxic environment working for and with him for a few years.

Lindsey’s tweet was reported and virtually forgotten along with those silly U.S.A.G. rumors, but it was enough to garner interest in Cuomo’s nursing home scandal again, especially after a  month of Cuomo was micromanaging the vaccine rollout by limiting access to them along with making an abominable online application process making it virtually impossible for the elderly to get inoculated, it was almost like he was inadvertently trying to kill people in a similar way as his March 25th edict did. All of sudden, AG Letitia James released her report demanding an independent investigation into nursing home data, which compelled Dr. Zucker to finally release the actual and suspected body count of over 15,000 people, which is the equivalent of five 9/11s.

In the last few weeks, a tsunami of elected officials who didn’t say a thing about Cuomo’s coverup of the nursing home data has flooded the ether in New York with calls for his resignation, joining the choir of early hardliners who were demanding his removal right after his moll Melissa de Rosa spilled the beans to a select few Democrat officials in the vain hope that the fact that Cuomo didn’t want to let Trump investigate his sanctioned massacre and interfere with the narrative for the book he was starting at the time while cockblocking his sweet million dollar publisher contract.

Also in the room when de Rosa was trying to whitewash Cuomo’s malfeasance was Assemblyman Ron Kim of Flushing, Queens, whose uncle was one of the recently verified 15,000 casualties of Cuomo’s nursing home and housing care edict. Mr. Kim has been a thorn on the governor’s throughout the pandemic and knew there were machinations behind the executive order and was one of the first to condemn Cuomo’s abuse of his emergency powers. After AG Letitia James shocked the state by coming out with an independent investigation in the nursing home data following Cuomo’s quack Health Department commish Zucker’s sudden discovery of the long suspected body count, Kim instantly demanded for Cuomo to be reprimanded and removed from office. This led Andrew to call Kim’s house late in the evening to menace him about what honor is and then threatened to destroy him.

After that desperate and to this day final act of despotic intimidation, the deluge of sexual harassment charges started by Lindsey Boylan followed by 6 more women came flooding in, so did the sudden demands of elected officials left and right come down demanding Cuomo’s resignation and impeachment as well as the obligatory articles documenting his rise and fall from America’s Governor in the age of COVID to the broken tyrant he has become.

“I never touched anyone inappropriately”

                                                                                       Governor Andrew Cuomo

“It’s not a lie if you believe it”

                                                                   Joseph Goebbels  George Costanza

Andrew the Governor, like Bartleby the Scriviner, steadfastly remains in the governor’s seat in the Albany State House and occupies the governor’s mansion while continuing to deny the severity of his flirtations and deflecting blame of his decisions that unnecessarily killed thousands to the former President as well as on the residents next of kin and the Lord Almighty. While he, like every other American under investigation and in captivity, has the right to due process and is not the least intimidated by the solidarity calls for his self-abolishing by his political peers in the Democrat Party. Which makes sense considering that they didn’t think his resignation or impeachment was warranted at the time AG James made his coverup of the nursing home deaths an official criminal case. And as for the media’s belated 180 degree turnaround in their coverage of the Governor, it’s obviously more for clicks and hearts and ad space revenues than it is for justice for his collective victims in the nursing homes and the Albany statehouse and governor’s mansion. Which shows the rise of shameless expediency in corporate news media and politics is as bad as Cuomo’s scandals.

Regardless of these latecomers, it’s still good to see more piling on the Governor’s toxic megalomania, current pariah status and his legacy of tyrannical brutality, political crony patronage and perpetual incompetence running and ruining the state of New York for 2 and 3/4 terms and ultimately his manufactured charlatan ruse of being the default master alpha dog of the COVID-19 pandemic. While the Governor desired to have attractive women as aides to do secretarial duties, his bureaucratic team led  Magnificent Melissa de Rosa and her associates acted as Cuomo’s Variants,  hammering his orders via proxy to his underlings, advisors and elected officials, which were used in manic effect when they were prefabricating the nursing home death totals. This culture of intimidation was also apparent in the rushing of the opening of the Mario Cuomo Bridge despite infrastructure hazards so he can drive an old museum car over it.

But it isn’t like he sadistically did all those horrible things because of the power he held and wielded especially during the pandemic; he did it out of love. During his emmy-winning daily biriefings (and on his COVID mountain poster), Cuomo would sign off by stating that love wins. But in retrospect, the way Cuomo conducted himself and consciously diminished and undermine his staffers, aides and even high officials while making unwanted advances, it was more based on a philosophy that fear wins. While Ron Kim was shooting signal flares about apparent malfeasance in nursing homes following the death of his uncle while no one was paying attention, I saw this fear manifested when I got immediately blocked by a comedian who became famous for parodying Cuomo’s briefings when I suggested to do mimicries of his gaslighting statements as suspicions were starting to mount about his nursing home policy decisions that exacerbated the deaths of elderly residents. It really showed how far Cuomo’s frightening aura can reach people.

Or it might not end at all, despite the solidarity outrage. Because even after AG James report and the viral news and his menacing phone call to Assemblyman Kim, he was still allowed to enter the White House by President Joe Biden to have a sit-down meeting about the pandemic recovery with governors from other states. The most glaring thing of all that is Cuomo is still the leader of the National Governors Associated and has not been asked to step down from that position either.

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This is probably why Cuomo will not relent or even repent, because apparently the pandemic has made him too essential because of all the praise and accolades from corporate news and his former elected allies. Plus he’s still considered Democrat Party Establishment Heirarchy. And who knows what dirt the LuvGuv has on Biden.

Another thing that’s surely giving Cuomo confidence to hold on to his elected position is that he is still quite popular. He even still polls higher than the wretchedly opportunistic Mayor de Blasio who finally mustered to courage to say the word resign and has designs of primarying him for the seat in 2022. And his base on social media is very vast, these Cuomo variants (christened as #CuoAnon by stalwart Assembly Woman Yuh-Line Niou) have been relentlessly attacking Ms. Boylan and the other 6 (and counting) women, trying to cast a narrative of doubts about the timing of their accusations, never mind the confirmed fact that Cuomo hid the real data of dead people to manufacture consent of his farce leadership that is now under federal investigation.

This is another thing why Cuomo continues to repeat his claim about never being inappropriate with women around him, because he thought his lechery was playful, telling a reporter to “eat the whole sausage” and mansplaining to another how she “does a disservice to women” it’s amazing that he kisses his mother with that mouth.   Also even after he recently incriminated himself with his ME-a Culpa press conference where he feigned fraught emotions and remorse. But his infinite refrain of lies about the nursing home deaths coverup of which he still hasn’t apologized for are still being overlooked; lies to protect his inherently evil decisions to ensure his million dollar book deal and protect his nursing home and hospital executive and hedge fund donors.

As of this writing,it has been 354 since Governor Cuomo signed the law mandating nursing homes to accept #COVID19 patients and 347 days since he gave them immunity. And even though he rescinded the edict of mandating nursing homes to take COVID patients last May, a similar edict implemented in April mandated that group homes for people with disabilities had to accept and treat COVID patients and it’s still in effect even after a month of Cuomo’s double scandals. This malfeasance and maltreatment of New York State’s most vulnerable and aged along with the nursing homes and the initial vac rollout brings to mind when Cuomo was going to make cuts to Medicaid in last year’s budget right when the outbreak was about to kill thousands in a matter of hours. Even though it was thankfully not ratified,  it looks like with the majority of elderly and disabled killed by COVID-19, it already fulfilled the neoliberal driven measure of the cuts and recouping all that funding by vanishing them off the state coffers. And because of the immunity, there would be no one to blame but the Lord and Mother Nature.

In his rotten mind and soul, Andrew the Governor is beyond reproach and above the laws, even if his villainous exploitation of the pandemic is going to put him in the history books with other disgraced officials and even dictators from around the world for their autocratic decision leading to mass deaths. But he still there, opening up vaccination sites and having press conferences like everything is still new normal in the new leadership crisis of his own doing. No matter how many more prominent Democrats come out (and it looks like all of them did) Cuomo is not going to resign because he thinks he alone can make New York recover from the pandemic. He will continue to deny all charges of sexual abuse. Verbal and physical. There truly is no bigger ego in the universe.

As with the vaccines, we all are going to have to exercise a lot more patience for Cuomo’s latest American Crisis to come to truly fitting end.

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Update:

President Biden gives Cuomo a pass. Making him the only and most important elected official and Establishment Democrat not to call for his resignation.

N.W.F.C. Biyaaatch.

 

Governing With Their Dicks

New York, New York

Governor Cuomo, already in deep with his and his administrations obstruction of nursing home data from state officials and President Trump’s federal probe has been outed again by his former aide Lindsey Boylan. When Mrs. Boylan came out on social media months ago telling about her ordeals with the megalomaniac governor, it got virtually ignored by corporate news with the exception of the NY Post and myriad conservative news outlets. But now she’s gone nuclear detailing Cuomo’s equally lecherous side of his repeated flirtations and lurking her during her few years working in his administration.

 Medium

“Let’s play strip poker”

I should have been shocked by the Governor’s crude comment, but I wasn’t.

We were flying home from an October 2017 event in Western New York on his taxpayer-funded jet. He was seated facing me, so close our knees almost touched. His press aide was to my right and a state trooper behind us.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” I responded sarcastically and awkwardly. I tried to play it cool. But in that moment, I realized just how acquiescent I had become.

Governor Andrew Cuomo has created a culture within his administration where sexual harassment and bullying is so pervasive that it is not only condoned but expected. His inappropriate behavior toward women was an affirmation that he liked you, that you must be doing something right. He used intimidation to silence his critics. And if you dared to speak up, you would face consequences.

I joined state government in 2015 as a Vice President at Empire State Development. I was quickly promoted to Chief of Staff at the state economic development agency. The news of my appointment prompted a warning from a friend who served as an executive with an influential civic engagement organization: “Be careful around the Governor.”

My first encounter with the Governor came at a January 6, 2016, event at Madison Square Garden to promote the new Pennsylvania Station-Farley Complex project. After his speech, he stopped to talk to me. I was new on the job and surprised by how much attention he paid me.

My boss soon informed me that the Governor had a “crush” on me. It was an uncomfortable but all-too-familiar feeling: the struggle to be taken seriously by a powerful man who tied my worth to my body and my appearance.

Stephanie Benton, Director of the Governor’s Offices, told me in an email on December 14, 2016 that the Governor suggested I look up images of Lisa Shields — his rumored former girlfriend — because “we could be sisters” and I was “the better looking sister.” The Governor began calling me “Lisa” in front of colleagues. It was degrading.

 

The Governor’s staff was directed to tell me I looked like his rumored former girlfriend.

I had complained to friends that the Governor would go out of his way to touch me on my lower back, arms and legs. His senior staff began keeping tabs on my whereabouts. “He is a sexist pig and you should avoid being alone with him!” my mother texted me on November 4, 2016.

I shared my concern with my mother at the time.

The Governor’s behavior made me nervous, but I didn’t truly fear him until December 2016. Senior State employees gathered at the Empire State Plaza Convention Center in Albany to celebrate the holidays and our year’s work. After his remarks, the Governor spotted me in a room filled with hundreds of people waiting to shake his hand. As he began to approach me, I excused myself from coworkers and moved upstairs to a more distant area of the party.

Minutes later, I received a call from an unlisted number. It was the Governor’s body person. He told me to come to the Capitol because the Governor wanted to see me.

I made my way through the underground connection that linked the Plaza to the Capitol. As the black wrought-iron elevator took me to the second floor, I called my husband. I told him I was afraid of what might happen. That was unlike me. I was never afraid.

I exited the elevator to see the body person waiting for me. He walked me down the Hall of Governors. “Are there cameras here?” I asked him. I remembered my mother’s text warning the month before. I worried that I would be left alone with the Governor. I didn’t know why I was there. Or how it would end.

I was escorted into the Governor’s office, past the desks of administrative assistants and into a room with a large table and historical artifacts. The door closed behind me. It was my first time in his Albany office. The Governor entered the room from another door. We were alone.

As he showed me around, I tried to maintain my distance. He paused at one point and smirked as he showed off a cigar box. He told me that President Clinton had given it to him while he served as the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. The two-decade old reference to President Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky was not lost on me.

The Governor must have sensed my fear because he finally let me out of the office. I tried to rationalize this incident in my head. At least he didn’t touch me. That made me feel safer.

His inappropriate gestures became more frequent. He gave roses to female staffers on Valentine’s Day and arranged to have one delivered to me, the only one on my floor. A signed photograph of the Governor appeared in my closed-door office while I was out. These were not-so-subtle reminders of the Governor exploiting the power dynamic with the women around him.

In 2018, I was promoted to Deputy Secretary for Economic Development and Special Advisor to the Governor. I initially turned the job down — not because I didn’t want the responsibility or work but because I didn’t want to be near him. I finally accepted the position at the Governor’s insistence with one requirement — I would keep my old agency office and remain on a separate floor from him and his inner circle.

The Governor’s pervasive harassment extended beyond just me. He made unflattering comments about the weight of female colleagues. He ridiculed them about their romantic relationships and significant others. He said the reasons that men get women were “money and power.”

I tried to excuse his behavior. I told myself “it’s only words.” But that changed after a one-on-one briefing with the Governor to update him on economic and infrastructure projects. We were in his New York City office on Third Avenue. As I got up to leave and walk toward an open door, he stepped in front of me and kissed me on the lips. I was in shock, but I kept walking.

I left past the desk of Stephanie Benton. I was scared she had seen the kiss. The idea that someone might think I held my high-ranking position because of the Governor’s “crush” on me was more demeaning than the kiss itself.

Governor Cuomo must have instinctively saw this recent manifesto of his serial abuses of power and intimidation coming, because when he decided to premiere a new vaccination site at York College in Jamaica, Queens, he showed up there at the crack of dawn to live stream it for the state’s government website at 7:30 AM to give the first inoculations (one of them to Democrat/Cuomo loyalist State Senator Leroy Comrie) and naturally refused access to the press for this newsworthy event a few hours before Mrs. Boylan posted her article online.

This inspired a former high ranking aide to Mayor de Blasio to write an article about her own experience with working with the tyrannical governor and correlated it with her time enduring de Blasio’s similar though mild brand of sexism and megalomania.

NY Daily News

Mayor de Blasio, for whom I also worked and knew for 25 years, both at HUD and as New York City mayor, practices a different brand of penis politics. His charming, easygoing personality he had when we worked together in the federal government gave way to a hectoring, inflexible approach that bordered on sanctimony when I was his press secretary at City Hall.

His signature move as mayor was to dig in on an untenable position against the advice of staff, raising the cost of an inevitable defeat. Discussions with staff were marked by condescension, leaving the female staffers feeling especially marginalized. It made for an uncomfortable work environment.

Although the mayor preached a philosophy of egalitarianism, the workplace was pretty much like any other male-dominated environment I’ve been in: Women were interrupted more often and listened to less, whether they were a commissioner or a scheduler. By the end of his first term, the mayor had lost twice as many senior officials who were women than men.

When The Blaz was queried about this article that detailed his duplicitous manner towards and passive aggressive undermining of most of his top female staffers, he reverted to his proclivity for identity politricks by validating his recognition and support of women in his administration and their impact on the city’s policies by citing his tax-boondoggle wife:

“I have not seen the piece, I’ll only talk about the history of this administration, um, from the beginning, literally from the very beginning, the leadership of this administration has been majority, woman and continues to be. My number one advisor, confidante, partner in everything everyone knows is Chirlane. My longest serving aide and person I have depended on and worked so closely with now for over a decade or more, Emma Wolfe. And four out of six deputy mayors are women and throughout this history of this administration, it’s been a female led administration in so many ways and I have tremendous respect for the folks who have been a part of this team”

For the Blaz, the women he appointed to work with and under him in the high echelons in his cabinet are just woke window dressing,  while women working for Cuomo have to develop a tolerance for misogynistic put-downs, creepy flirtations and sneaky kisses. Both of which prove that these two ghouls are truly equals not only in incompetent and unaccountable leadership but also continuing the historic and cultural establishment undermining and objectifying of women in the workplace and should be abolished from running any executive position in government or the private sector or even to run a hot dog stand (especially Cuomo, who should be legally sanctioned with restraining order to keep 10 ft. distance away from any phallic resembling foodstuffs).

 

New York State Assembly Wants To Give Governor Cuomo Power To Rendition Citizens

Albany, New York

For about 10 months now during this pandemic, Governor Cuomo has wielded his emergency executive powers anointed to him by the New York State Assembly and Senate with equal incompetence and malfeasance. So instead of repealing them now that there are multiple vaccines to fight the coronavirus and nearly a million available to dispense to the citizenry they all serve, they would rather give the Pandemic Power Tripper even more disturbing powers for him to exploit so he can keep them and his stature and COVID19 celebrity secure.

They want to give Cuomo the ability to deploy the authorities to detain citizens suspected of carrying the contagion

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Not only is this legislation brazenly unconstitutional, easily fraying everyone’s fourth amendment right, but like everything else that’s resulted from Cuomo’s micromanaging of the pandemic response will result in bumbling bureaucratic errors and chaos. Kind of like one of the seminal scenes in the movie Brazil when the SWAT teams search for government dissenters.

The coincidental timing of this bill is uncanny (like mostly everything else that’s happened to benefit the elites in recent American history) even though there are 3 vaccines available to the general public and doing this in attempt to stem another epidemic is going to an unnecessary extreme because the Governor announced yesterday that there was a man infected with a new strain of COVID that has spread in England, which led Prime Minister Boris Johnson to shut down the whole country (but not the schools (!!!)).

It’s not known if this new strain is as fatal as the contagion that’s already killed millions but apparently it doesn’t matter because this is about Cuomo maintaining his status as King of Lockdown New York. Because of his decision to only let hospitals distribute the vaccines instead of counties set up centers to inoculate people as fast as possible, it has botched the rollout of the vaccines and has left more people vulnerable to contagion. Plus add the fact that people don’t trust the vaccine because of myriad reasons from concerns of withdrawal symptoms and allergies and of course Cuomo initially sowing doubt about the vaccines because Trump fast tracked it to get the economy rolling again. 

What’s amazing about this new bill and edict that gives Cuomo more authority is that only a week ago he wanted to open Buffalo Bills stadium for in person attendance for their long awaited playoff game next week with provisions that everyone get tested and then submit to be traced after the game ended. Basically, the game is being treated like a state surveillance experiment. Even though it will only the arena will be filled  to 1/3 capacity, there’s no guarantee that no one will be following protocols like mask wearing or distancing once they leave the game. It’s not unimaginable that if someone gets infected they can be whisked away by state troopers or local cops if they are shopping in a supermarket or mall or even participating in or organizing a protest.

To give a real life idea of what kind of blow back from this will ensue:

Another disturbing factor about this legalization of rendition is the anti-transparency policy already established by the Cuomo administration during this pandemic, as with the actual amount of the deceased caused by Cuomo’s edict giving immunity to nursing homes for taking in COVID patients the same secrecy is being implemented regarding the vaccine rollout in the entire state of New York.

This is why this new bill needs to eviscerated. This bill is more to cover Governor Cuomo’s ass than any concern for the health and well-being of his constituency. This is not just about stopping a pandemic, but also stopping the sickness of this new normal of paranoia and limited freedom under a kakistocratic autocracy being instituted under this megalomaniac mook from Queens.

The New York City Lockdown Follies

Starring: The Punk Ass and The Dumb Ass

New Normal, New York

The recent announcement of the lockdown of the city schools and it’s undetermined re-opening coinciding with the marginal rise of coronavirus infections among the citizenry has led to a veritable collision of worlds involving our two executive officials of the state and city of New York, Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio; exposing again the depthless void of partnership  between the two men and their administrations and the back and forth deferring of accountability regarding the economic and societal impacts that are being disrupted by the pandemic.

Beginning with the megalomaniac tin horn autocrat in Albany.

Immediately after fielding the first question from reporter Jimmy Vikeland about imminent public school closings in New York City based on the ague vagaries of Cuomo’s color coated area datas where COVID-19 is mostly spread to reinforce restrictions, the governor’s eyes bulged and accused the intrepid reporter of speaking untoward him with an “obnoxious tone” which the insecure governor reciprocated  with his trademark condescending tone and proceeded to spew a fusillade of condescending retorts and juvenile mimicries to go along with his indignant accusations against Vikeland’s credibility. When another reporter got rightly offended with how he insulted Vikeland, Cuomo let him and his constituency know that he doesn’t give a shit what he thinks about the press’s questions regarding his pandemic policy.

Cuomo continued to respond to other reporters with self-righteous indignation and unadulterated hubris because they wouldn’t accept his gaslighting as gospel, considering that the luvguv knew that Mayor de Blasio was going to close the schools the very second that the 3% infection threshold was achieved. This outburst was a total 180 degree turn from the measured and more informed response about the closings that Cuomo said a few days earlier when he pointed out that if the infection rates were low in the schools compared to the test results from the general population, it wouldn’t justify the closures and he mused that schools could be a safer environment from contagion than being at home. Which makes Cuomo’s sudden adamant tantrum about the city shutting down the schools so full of shit because he has the power to shut down the schools which he did when the virus first took hold of the city.

Another thing which makes his freak out suspect is that he has ruled New York with a paternalistic iron fist since Albany gave him his unquestioned emergency executive powers back in March. But suddenly with the schools he has been doing his damnest to disassociate himself from them, preferring to let Mayor de Blasio handle them.  Plus Cuomo was actually told by de Blasio that he decided to shut down the schools before he held his press conference and subsequent tirade and blatantly misinforming the press of his knowledge.

The worst thing about this disgraceful display and his inner contempt towards the press that wasn’t executed by the exiting POTUS is that Cuomo is continuing to exploit the social distancing protocols against the press trying to make him accountable for his policy decisions (or in this case, his non-decision). The governor/biographer is fortunate he has to deal with professionals with limited access and time to be around him while the pandemic is having a resurgence. He may not be so lucky when the vaccines are approved and the six feet barricades and face mask rules get rescinded, because Cuomo is due for another verbal lashing…

As for the worst mayor of NYC and any other city in the last century, the way de Blaz condescends to the press inquiring about his COVID responses is comparably polite. Instead of yelling at reporters he meekly dismisses their questions with deflections and brazen lies. And because of the pandemic guidelines, he doesn’t even convey any effort when he gaslights them about his policies because he won’t let the press do their jobs in the same room with him and they can only access him and ask questions over the phone.

And the Blaz actually has valid reason to be standoffish, the list of how he royally fucked up the pandemic response would result in a scroll that would transverse the planet about 3 times (going with the 3% lockdown measure theme here). But regarding the schools, de Blasio, along with his comic relief DOE Commissioner Carranza, were screwing around for months planning the new school year to adjust for the pandemic.

His rollout of the remote learning program was and continues to be a disaster, especially for the poor and homeless children with the distribution of faulty computer pads forcing them to rely on the tiny screens of cellphones to learn. That’s if they even get reception for it, being that these lower area median income neighborhoods don’t have free wifi.

After a few weeks of delays, the schools have been open and the blended learning program seem to be working until the weather got chillier and positive cases began to rise. Predictably de Blasio waited till the last second to warn parents about shutting down the whole system as he did when he kept rescheduling opening the schools at the start. Even though most school buildings didn’t have enough ventilation to prevent the contagion and the cap to make partial opening work was set low at 3% even though CDC regs and Cuomo set it at 5%. plus the inevitability of cases rising again when the weather got colder and of stupid selfish people gathering maskless in clusters, which continued to happen across the city. Then the 3% threshold hit and the Blaz closed them down for an indeterminate amount of time with Cuomo’s hands off blessing, collectively pissing off parents and teachers after a little over a month of utter incompetent leadership and shoddy services.

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The interesting thing about the Blaz insistence to have kids return to schools for in person learning is that he made it an issue that he was the only mayor in the nation to attempt this. It still seems that he’s still obsessed with being some kind of national figure than governing the city he was elected to run. Twice. And the chaotic logistics behind the schools reopening and reclosing truly conveys a mission supervised by other interests and distractions.

And it definitely applies to Cuomo too with his pressers, because his belligerence with the NYC press is just a withdrawal symptom after getting months of fawning butt massaging praise and unconditional (and maladjusted) worship from the corporate news press (which includes his little brother), celebrities and social media for being an alleged alternative resource against COVID information coming from the Trump administration even though Cuomo refused to meet with Trump’s health commissioner 17 times when called for emergency meetings regarding the virus. So Cuomo had 17 chances to yell and make condescending snide insults at Trump and Health Secretary Azir about his expertise to their faces on handling the pandemic like he did to these reporters and chose not to. Pussy.

Even after that the senseless praise for Cuomo continued as he rejected vaccines that are almost ready because it was made possible from Trump’s warp speed initiative. Of course the worst aspect about Cuomo and his rock star status is that it translated into an autobiography he remarkably found time to write an autobiography of how he handled the virus that is still spreading and an International Emmy Award that was made up out of the blue.

It’s understandable why Cuomo and de Blasio are being so difficult and so vague governing this crisis, because it’s just a reaction how they initially fucked up against the novel coronavirus when they both dillydallied and were at loggerheads with shutting down the city in March and continued to be at loggerheads in the ensuing months. But now they are finally in sync (so it seems) with the new lockdown as the holidays approach.

Although it’s imperative to implement these lock downs and restrictions now because of the rapid rise of covid infections, the governor and the mayor’s horrendous lack of correspondence and cohesion and their proclivity for gaslighting about their policies  and data while dismissing accountability for them has manifested a universal reaction of no confidence and universal contempt and ridicule from the citizens of New York City, who all really have no choice but to deal with these regulations and these two incompetent and insufferable megalomaniacs and deal with their shitshow follies.

Remotely of course.

Cuomo’s COVID Comedy Is Not Pretty

New Normal, New York

Governor Andrew Cuomo  has been in quite a blue mood lately. Although it’s not over New York elected officials bipartisan calls and congressional and senate demands from DC calling for an independent investigation into the motives behind his mandate demanding nursing homes accept COVID19 patients and the immunity law he gave the owners and financial holders of them. It’s also not over the MTA’s running out of funding to maintain and operate the transit system to go along with maniacs breaking train windows for the fuck of it. It’s also not over the mass exodus of the state’s richest people from the big hollow apple and especially those he’s groveling to so they stay put…

No it’s all these young and youngish adults who are flouting the pandemic protocols he put in place back in April (which he did very late) that mandated mask wearing and social distancing while shopping indoors and mingling outside at bars and restaurants. Even though this consensus flouting as been going on since the outbreak began and reaching the tipping point in summer’s eve with people partying down on an Astoria street, Cuomo decided that the only way he could get the narrative through to these maskless party obsessive punks would be through, um, comedy.

Now Cuomo is the last person who should delve into this genre, although as his massive ego and megalomania plainly shows, it’s safe to say that he probably thinks he knows funny more than anyone else who happens to be in his surroundings. Even that COVID 19 mountain grave poster he commissioned to make and is selling now has little side jokes (the boyfriend cliff).

What’s truly interesting about Cuomo’s sudden interest in resorting to humor is that because of his emergency executive powers that Albany’s legislators gave him in order to prevent contagion to keep the curve going back up the mountain is that he won’t let people who are actually funny and rely on comedy for their livelihoods do their jobs:

Witness this from the Queens Chronicle:

Customers at outside restaurants and bars can enjoy live music with their meal as long as the operators can produce appropriate State Liquor Authority certification and can keep at least a 12-foot distance between performers and the audience. Comedy shows, which can also accommodate those metrics, are not extended that right, however.

“Restaurants and other on premises food and beverage establishments that have a license through the SLA are only allowed to offer on-premise music if their license certificate specifically allows for such activity … All other forms of live entertainment, such as exotic dancing,s comedy shows, etc., are not permissible currently regardless of phase,” read the state Phase 3 and 4 guidelines for Licensed On-Premises Establishments.

A spokesperson for the Empire State Development Corp. said that comedy shows, whether indoor or outdoor, are considered high-risk gatherings. The state is concerned that they would create an environment that encourages mingling and congestion, resulting in spread of COVID-19.

“Comedians should be up in arms about this bizarre, explicit distinction. So musical comedy would be okay?” Kambri Crews, owner of comedy club QED, wrote in an Aug. 13 tweet.

Like many other comedy clubs, the Astoria cafe had been operating outdoors in accordance with respective Department of Health dining guidance — patrons should not be standing unless for necessary reasons, standing customers should wear face coverings and that 6-foot distance measures should be respected. In early July, the SLA rescinded that right.

“What comedy show have you been to where people are standing around and milling about?” said Crews, who told the Chroncile she’d happily accommodate any SLA restrictions, such as not selling alcohol, if it meant she could resume operations.

When asked if the distinction between live music shows at restaurants and live comedy performances at clubs lay in the guests’ incentive for gathering, the Empire State Development Corp. spokesperson said, “Music is ancillary to the meal.”

I don’t want to obsess that long on what a moronic statement that spokesman said, because I’ve been to plenty of clubs and concerts and I never had a hankering to chow down on something, but drinking is usually either required and expected during a stand up comic’s show. And Cuomo has been sending his SLA agents to shut down bars with the efficacy of how the Matrix deployed duplicate Agent Smiths after Keanau Reeves, but that’s another long story that needs to be thoroughly investigated and told, because I think the issue here is the state of comedy in New Normal, New York and in COVID-19 America. And it’s not fucking pretty.

Back in May, the NY Daily News profiled a young comedian who was doing parodies of Governor Cuomo’s daily COVID-19 briefings on her social media accounts. Taking after (or stealing from) an overnight sensation novice comedian (and former tech drone) Sarah Cooper’s twitter vids mocking Donald Trump’s interviews and statements by lip synching them, Maria de Cotis lip synched some clips of Cuomo’s pressers that immediately went viral, getting tons of hits and also praise for her satires on the suddenly immensely popular governor, mimicking personal and familial anecdotes and charming banter with the press.

Being a fan of comedy, especially satire, and with a social media account of my own, I felt a sudden urge to aide Ms. de Cotis.

 

So I clicked the link of her tweet video and I made some suggestions how she can get even more viral and huge by mimicking other videos from his daily briefings that were instantly available from attachments to stories and links from the New York Post that were related the serious subject matter of his policies that he wasn’t getting national fame for, the manipulating of rising mortality rates in nursing homes.

Now I’m not much of an influencer, well, I’m actually not an influencer, my blog only gets about 10-20 hits a day and I have under 400 followers on the twitter, so I didn’t expect her to take my advice. My clear intent was to disrupt the awful narrative that Governor Cuomo is some sort of hero of the pandemic when his dawdling from shutting down the state cost over 25,000 New Yorker’s lives. And also that Maria here can expand her repertoire with some dark, sardonic humor about this tragedy.

Alas, it was not to be. Because minutes later this happened:

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I have tweeted at celebrities before challenging their views and opinions but they usually and naturally go ignored. And I’ve been blocked on the Twitter before by regular people, but this was the swiftest that I ever been cancelled by an account. A (quasi) celebrity account too. And it really wasn’t that hard to deduce.

This funny lady (according to her profession) has recently acquired some fame and celebrity likes for her lyp sync and satirical characterization of the most famous Governor in the USA #MatildasSon Andrew Cuomo. I saw all the videos when I had the chance, and all she did was goof on the segments from the briefings when he talked about his daughter.  And as shown above, I suggested she would probably get more raves if she lipsync clips of Cuomo talking about his handling of the nursing homes which is getting a lot of critical scrutiny. And all the videos were available on all the links I provided.


Maybe DeCotis doesn’t do satire that’s acerbic or dark, maybe that’s not her thing, but apparently, she does satire that’s government approved. Or in this case, Cuomo approved. Because in her videos, she not only links Cuomo’s government account but also his personal account @andrewcuomo

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The only thing missing from that “comedian”s videos was the excelsior emblem. All of her video tweets have both of Cuomo’s accounts. Something tells me that this woman could have got commissioned to be a jester for King Andrew’s court. While the “LuvGuv” can keep tabs on his detractors. Zoiks.

Which brings us to Cuomo’s latest resort to comedy derived policy making. As the chillier weather and flu season of Autumn nears and with reports of college students  getting infected after attending crowd cluster homecoming ragers and park ravers, he gave his celebrity brah Paul Rudd, star of “Clueless” and creator of the sharp comedy about traveling van catering waiters “Party Down”, a call and make a humorous PSA loaded with that snark humor that millenials and Gen Z appreciate so much and view on their $1,000 cellphones.

 

Rudd gives it all he got here, from the hipster pube beard and upscale hoodie, headphones and skateboard accessories while going off at the mouth with heavily misused social media jargon, but it just falls flat. Especially when the bit comes to a halt when he pleads with the target demographic to don the masks and show respect, which negated everything that was mildly amusing in the video in the first 60 second as Mr. Rudd descends into another middle aged man desperately trying to connect today’s youth that will surely won’t listen. The saddest thing about this is not the wasted effort in this video but the fact that Governor Cuomo basically summoned Rudd to produce this mess. Again spending New Yorker’s tax dollars to hire another jester at his whim.

To paraphrase the immortal saint of comedy Bill Hicks, government monitored and approved humor will always suck. And government integrated comedy is surely worse, as manifested recently at Gotham Comedy club when Chuck Schumer grabbed the mic from Jerry Seinfeld to tell a shitty joke during a charity fundraiser. (And shouldn’t Gotham have their liquor licensed revoked for having a joke being told, which is against COVID guidelines?)

But there is a reason why comedy performance is considered (and mandated) as a potential contagion hazard by the Governor, and that’s because comedy is capable of reverting the authoritative narrative and constructs of the establishment and is capable of bringing truth to power as or even more effectively than the hardest hitting muckraking journalism could. Imagine if a funny person with a gig at a club like the Comedy Cellar going off for an hour with jokes about the police states and the obscene redistribution of wealth that are simultaneously blossoming during this pandemic and gilded age coinciding with a depression and about the politicians of today who are doing a horrendous job serving their constituents with conflicting and suppressing pandemic guidelines while assuring their moneyed donors they will be well protected. The last thing people with power want is someone getting on a stage with solid comic material that excoriates the system induced by this pandemic and going viral with it.  That’s the kind of super spread that Cuomo is just as worried about. Maybe more.

As Herschel Krustofsky illustrates and as the legacies of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin and Bill Hicks has validated, the best and funniest comedy besides the jokes is when it challenges the status quo and points out the inherent absurdity of it. It confronts taboos and turns them inwards rendering them irrelevant. It exposes the truth behind the lies and opens up minds that hear it, subjecting the creators and defenders of those lies  to the ridicule they all deserve. Sadly, thanks to the likes of Paul Rudd and Maria DeCotis, all of that endemic graft and corruption is going to continue unblemished.

Speaking of Ms. DeCotis, I wonder how she has progressed as a comic since she went viral months ago.

I guess I will never know. And apparently, it’s very essential that I better not.

The last time I heard Andrew Cuomo make something resembling a joke was just days before he was going to end his COVID daily briefing afternoon variety show; he rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange and flippantly remarked that 73 people who succumbed to coronavirus that day as “good news”. And topped it off diminishing those people that died with a tone deaf observation by describing it as the “absurd reality” “we” all live in.  The reality the ersatz King Cuomo exacerbated with his criminally absurd and negligent decisions while trying to normalize vapid acceptance by marginalizing the deaths of over dozens of people because of the vast amount that died and got stored in trailers before those 73 victims in a short amount of time.

No wonder he needs comedy to salve his sorry leadership and the general lack of respect for him from young adult and certifiable young New Yorkers. And to salvage his certifiable royal fuckups.