Let’s go for a joyride.

Hi everybody. Welcome to my immersion tour, inspired by recent posts by Queens Crap including the title of this one, which stems from a similarly named tour in Ridgewood back in June to spur food culture interest in that neighborhood as a guise to spur gentrification through higher rental market rates and displacement, and also from the extreme effects of Climate Change which saw my ride enhanced by a balmy 72 degree Saturday in the certainly soon to be warmest October worldwide in recorded history.

It’s called an immersion tour for my readers, all 6 of you, for I was immersed here when I was pushing 10. To make this sight seeing trip more comfortable, I will provide the proper musical accompaniment.

We start this sojourn at the intersection of Cross Bay Blvd. and Liberty Avenue. Which has seen a sudden and dramatic potentially deal breaking and car and bone breaking infrastructure change to accommodate more Select Bus Service routes. Like the 2 Q53 buses from Woodside I saw leaving the stop before I snapped this photo.

Unbelievable. This sight was unblemished for decades and now the DOT decided to literally put a fork in the road. The bus stops to the left there as it always has been, but from the looks of this, the east lane is going to be used for turning right and the bus is going to make it’s stop in the middle of the street. This is sanctioning congestion.

Responsible drivers never had a problem before transitioning into the 4 lane Woodhaven Blvd that is right ahead but hey this is for presumably everyone’s safety. Vision Zero and all that. It’s in this host’s opinion that this serves absolutely no purpose except for a place to stand while traffic speeds by.

Next up, BEER TOWN!

This may be the best name of a discount beer distributor store of all time. Sandwiched between a 99 cent store and a karate school and a few blocks from the homeless Comfort Inn and the adjoining Days Inn. I use to frequent this place because it was the only one to carry the Molson pilsner and Yuengling lager brands, which are my personal favorites. Pabst Blue Ribbon used to cost 4 bucks here. I like to point out that I was drinking that turpentine elixir way before it became the hip brand for the Brooklyn gentries.

Next up continuing the path up Cross Bay, is the small town of Broad Channel. Which after 5 years since Hurricane Sandy, a lot of homes are still in the rebuilding process, as evidenced by this obstruction in the right lane of the road.

This dumpster bin took up both the faded bike lane and a entire vehicle lane. It’s placement there is almost akin to someone dropping their wallet.

Brought to you commuters by the fine folks of the Build It Back program and Regency Carting.

As you all can see here, this presents quite a pickle for proper egress.

Next is a place that has seen a big controversy between two council members, who are from different districts,  erupt as election day draws near. The Bayview restaurant was renovated and reopened finally last year after getting leveled by Sandy. But for some reason this year it has not seen any business activity. It turns out it was shut down at the end of the summer last year when it was bum rushed by investigators from the SLA, FDNY and the MTA (why the MTA???) because of trumped up violations involving a bar stand and the good old cabaret dancing ban which was just recently lifted, and for something about a ruckus outside of the marina caused by one of the sons of Councilwoman Elizabeth Crowley according to local Councilman Eric Ulrich.

Now if there is justification to shut down an establishment because a fight happened outside of it, I think every bar would have to face the same fate, especially in the recently city planning freewheeling and  SLA approved crazy towns of the East Village and the L.E.S.

But anyway, this is what it looks like today and it’s quite a mystery.

This excavation and placement of what looks like some sort of elevated patio has been going on for a few months now. There is no indication or information on what this is or when it will be done. This actually started around the time when the cashless toll taker was placed on the Addabo Bridge entrance to Rockaway Beach, so this presumably might be the reason why the MTA was involved in the restaurant’s closure and year long suspended state. Other than being the fact that Ms. Crowley is the cousin of Congressman Joe Crowley and the official Alpha Girl of the Machine Democrats and nobody will further dare repress the sense of entitlement of her gadabout sons. Or disrupt the pervasive influence of nepotism in politics.

Now we land in Rockaway Beach coasting up Beach Channel Drive and check out the vibrant sights of the new ferry and it’s elaborate dock. And the massive Six Flags style line waiting to board and those exiting the boat.

But wait, what are these things doing here?

And how come there hasn’t been absolutely any reporting on their existence? These have been popping up by the two’s and even three’s, waiting for the ferries arrivals for the past month. Fun fact, before these started showing up all summer long since the debut of the insufficient aquatic vessels, there were massive charter buses parked along this strip. I wondered aloud were these reserved by moneyed groups interested in the sights of the beach or was it paid with the citizens tax dollars by the city and state. These new shuttle buses might surely be the answer that they were, it’s bedecked with NYC logos and the subway line graphics adorning them.

Like the elaborate infrastructure going on by the aforementioned bridge pedestrian path entrance, there is nothing indicating where these buses go. There is a bus stop sign and pole but no schedules on them. That info is only available online. They just show up right on time or just wait there for the boats arrival, nice and convenient for it’s commuters. It’s not known either if it’s an extra fare or the transfer is free. Peculiar that in what is and always has been a public transit crisis going on that these buses have been prioritized for easy transfer for curious denizens of the newly hip and happening beach, even now that it’s off season despite the freakish elongated summer this state is fortunate to be having. It’s also quite irritating to see considering a recent story about a bus line cut off 7 years ago that’s desperately needed and being denied to elderly citizens living in Oakland Gardens in eastern Queens.

It’s also maddening that these buses were made possible by that awful shortchanging contractor from San Fransisco, Hornblower.

At least the buses are made here, I think, being that these are the road space hogging Trans Express buses. Which usually provides services to elderly and handicapped people. So this might suck even more, since the city is rerouting services again to pander to tourists and pretentious gourmands. In addition to the fact that there continues to be startling inequity in city transit services.

Next up, the sights of Jacob Riis Park. Which has seen an equal amount of vibrancy and citizen concern. Like the immediate first sight of the former and seemingly abandoned Neponsit Medical Center.

Actually, it’s not abandoned at all, for it received a million dollar grant from the city’s Health and Hospitals Corp. to renovate it, in addition to annual funding for it’s current upkeep. This was recently brought to light in a recent Queens Crap post, which noted the NYPD police car in the lot, as you can see on the far right and the unsettling creepy aura it displays. Maybe from the ghosts of the 2 patients who died when the city decided to close the hospital from unfounded hurricane damage.

The irony of the dubious decisions to shut down because of the impact of  Hurricane Irene should not be lost considering the resilience of these buildings after the devastation wrought to nearby Breezy Point and parts of Belle Harbor 5 years ago by Sandy.

Good grief. This poster is from an “event” thrown by various moneyed concerns aka non-profit groups from Bloomberg, various LLC’s and the Central Park Conservancy from back in July which I covered in this summer’s post on the gentrification of the beach and it’s still there. Just another atypical case of parks dept. forgetfulness and neglect.

If you think this looks scary during the day, check out this place in the dead of night.

To top this peculiar finding off, there has been an unmarked car parked at the entrance of the facility driveway with the gates open as if the security patrol is encouraging intruders. For conspiracy minded folks, this looks like some area 51 shit going on there, or some personal info data mining factory like the one in Tribeca, or a suspenseful eerie scene from “Stranger Things”.

Riding further west to the end of the boardwalk and a bridle path, is what can ultimately and aptly be called a stupid thing.

What the fuck is this shit? Oh, it’s the latest idiotic attempt to gentrify the beach, Camp Rockaway. Let’s meet the fine delusional hosts and their wacky guests.

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This is actually being funded by the Federal Parks dept. In fact it’s the second fake camping site that is being placed here in a outlandishly lame attempt to make going to an all access and free beach and park into a luxury destination and commodity. Spurred on by Sinclair Media/Pix News advertisement passing as a news item. Basically advert-journalism. Not seen in the clip is Tamsen Fadal’s lead-in stating that this is located in Brooklyn.

False adverjournalism too (FAKE NEWS!). For this tucked away corner of the beach is actually in a playground field, note the soccer net. 20 yards away there is a football field goal post and north of this “upscale” camp, you can see kids playing ball and other activities. The loony thing about this is it’s the second, ahem, “glamping” site on the beach, for there was another one located on the grounds on Fort Tilden further east as I mentioned in the same post on this issue. This stupidity will cost the average frivolous spending loon from 65 to 195 bucks a night!

Let’s get the fuck out of here. These people are crazy. And check out some other sites of continuing federal park neglect…

Here are some handball courts outside of the pitch and putt golf course. Which used to be the most popular local sporting pastime in the city. In fact it still is, just not that much in Queens anymore and with the predominant transient gentries that the city and state that are pandering to and no doubt the ubiquity of addictive app games. This sight, as well as other blights that those glamorous campers might notice on their hikes in the park and beach, has not changed one iota in 10 years.

Here we have a keg trailer by the base of the seemingly infinite beach bazaar. This should dispel any doubt about parks and rec’s foisting a party lifestyle and culture here.

Here is the long, long ago vibrant and still abandoned buildings and bathhouses. Which earlier this year the NPS tried to privatize the renovations but could not get buyer interest, even with all the activity and appearance of artisan food trucks and the new ground floor restoration completion 4 years after Sandy.

And finishing off, here we have the moldy ol’ Hotel Der Mar. Still sitting shitty despite the new boardwalk’s presence. The environmental hazard and property devaluing corpse house was also on the news recently.

I hope y’all enjoyed your immersion viewers. Yes, it was a bummer and didn’t have any craft beer or  pretentious artisan fare tastings but at least it was free and you didn’t have to get up. Also, you get to see a side that is being obscured by the local news media, for these areas are still struggling and are being subjected to senseless and unnecessary infrastructure upgrades, lousy and ineffective city assisted programs, bizzaro zeitgeist bullshit and the looming gentrification threat.

This tour is not discourage and dishearten. These are still great places to visit and ride through. It’s very fortunate to have this freakish and unnatural summer weather this autumn. So go on a joyride yourselves and enjoy the many pleasant sights as well as the shitty ones.

Smell ya later. It’s a long ride back to base, so here’s some appropriate musical accompaniment.

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